I assume that I cheated? Can I have opinions please?

Im assuming it was still sex, its still porn pal, but i wouldnt let it bother you your brain is still healing from constant PMO ,PIED etc is mainly from constant Dopamine and large amounts of porn.
Many people have many different issues on the whole NOfap front, so it really depends what yours are and what your end goal is

 

My opinion is no, it is not the same as porn. It is much closer to normal sex. It is consensual, made with your partner and their approval, it comes from a safe and loving place. As long as you and your partner are ok with it, it's fine.

If you're trying to quit the P, but you and your partner are ok with and accepting of the M, then don't stress over it.

... IMHO

 

I see you've gotten some good responses already, but I thought I'd throw in my view too, even though it's not fully thought through.
I'm married, and my wife is aware that I've been struggling with pornography for many years. She's been supportive even though it probably hurts her when she hears that I couldn't stay away. Again.
For me it's the actual porn that has to go. (My fear of being passive and unproductive is getting a closer look too, but I see that therapy as a process on a different level, even though they're certainly related.)
During a marriage course we took, it was stated that your partner should be your source for stimulation. I keep coming back to that.
In my view, communication is the key. If she's ok with it, then it can be a positive experience - of course, in reasonable amounts.
I may not be very clear here, and I'm just beginning to put words on this.
However, my point is that it can be useful as a complement, but never as a substitute.
But it is also a good idea to think about how it has become a habit, and why...
Hope this is relevant for you!

 

For me the fact that you are here means that you have realized that you have a problem, an addiction to porn and you want to quit. The very fact that your question is whether you have cheated means that you decided not to watch porn because porn was unhealthy for you and you are wondering whether home made porn of your partner is on a different category.

Different people have different opinions. Here is mine:
Yes, you have cheated and should clarify your goals. Addiction to porn is an immature way to deal with stress, difficult situations, boredom, etc. Whether porn is home made or Hollywood made it has the same effect. There is no love, no human connection. But rather others (usually the opposite sex) acting for your viewing pleasure to supply you with some dopamine.

Wish you well, and hope that you will put a finger at your problem and like many of us here embark on the journey of recovery.

 

Of course it will set you back, but don't count it as back to zero. You have probably got plenty of positives in your life besides that. Focus on those, build on your values and improve your life. Your counter is just a number, but it's how much you improve yourself that matters.

DS.