The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 64 complete.

After having my urges returned, I had more phantasise and I don’t want to have simple sex with my wife any more, I want wild sex. At least I don’t phantasise about other women a lot. I’ve started doing good in work, I am happy. Had some thoughts about googling for sexy images, but not wery consious I don’t realy want to do it. But I have to protect myself.

 

Day 5 - Orc, The Dark Tower Barad-Dûr

A flawless night, bonded with my gf and no temptations whatsoever

 

For me it is happening the same. I noticed that my attention is more focused on eaht it happening and less on who they look.

I liked the trailer so for sure I'll watch it. I need to watch the 3th of Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit with kids to put them on context

 

Excellent keep going

 

Pffff... I need to calm down. I may relapse. Hitting that panic button.
Taking cold shower. Done
1 hour walk done.

 

I’m sorry that happened and I know it didn’t make you feel good. Just try to think this through logically and realize that there could be a lot of other factors in why you were not invited (this time). I always try to remember that overall people have good intentions. Don’t beat yourself up about the slip and don’t beat your friends up about their “slip” of not inviting you. Keep your head up and this will all work out.

 

Day 359 no PMO. Good day yesterday. No urges. I stated to taper off my sleeping/anti depression medication last week. My plan is to taper down slowly and be off completely soon. Man I hope this works.

 

Day 20

 

Day 1 !

 

Back to being a Nazgul...godammit

 

Day 4 completed!!

 

I'm in

 

13
I'll be checking in at 21 day challenge.

 

Day 13...

 

Thank you. Yes, it is. The longest streak in my life. I'll update my status at the end of the day

 

Check in day 142

 

Checking in Fellowship Friends,

391 free of MO. Day 0 Free of Porn.

This isn't easy for me to mention, but I owe it to this group to be honest and truthful. My journey ends at 460 days free of Porn. I had to reset my counter. On two separate days, I knowingly looked up porn substitutes and eventually watched half a porn video. I did not MO or edge though. Perhaps that's not a relapse for some, but I want to be free of this entirely and would not feel okay continuing this streak. I don't want to go in autopilot mode, running away from how I feel. Least of all, running away to anything porn related. I failed to follow what I mentioned in my last post, or my own teachings of the past. To return to the basics, review my materials and notes. What I was avoiding was the stress of my new position at work, the feelings of anger and distaste towards over a decade long ex friend, amongst a few others things I will not mention. I had also discovered a crack in the armor of my blocker on my laptop, which I exploited.

The rush of of adrenaline I felt, the rush of anxiety and stomach discomfort was my body telling me that what I was doing was wrong and yet I had chosen to ignore it. Thankfully, I pulled the plug before things got worse. This is why I say it many times, returning to simplicity is important, especially when things becoming straining.

I have reinforced my blocker by adding another, to make sure I will have no access in moments of strong emotional turmoil and temptation. For those interested, I use cold turkey, focus and Self-Control. I have also spent a lot more time meditating.

I'm upset with myself for letting this happen and I'm sorry to those I have let down with this post, please know I will work my way back. I will beat my previous record of 460 days free of porn.


0 days >> Nazgûl (You were once a man, a King, now fallen to the power of PMO)

Stay strong!

 

Dawn of the 11th day.

 

I am on my day 1 too, but i have no experience how to truly deal with it
Can you help, plz

 

Day 1