I messed up. Slipped up after 164 Days. Porn Addiction is deeply rooted.

Hey don't worry. I've been there. I know it feels sht. But don't let yourself be in that vulnerable position too long. Do spend some time analysing what happened. But don't stay down there too much. Get back up. You have the strength to go more than 5 months free. Then this is nothing. Just a small step down. Dust it off, plan your next step. U can do it. Remember without failure and step downs there's no success. No one reaches the summit in one try mostly. It takes trials and errors to achieve this. Good luck

 

Yes few times. Once I think it was around 6 months. I was in touch with nofap and all. But I found an excuse. That i would not watch or M. Rather I should just you know touch or do some mild sht. Then with time I was following that mind voice constantly and few weeks Im kinda addicted to touching only. This went on and on until eventually as far as I remember I couldn't hold it in and ended my streak.

 

So I think right then and there shutting that mind voice in the beginning itself is important. Coz if u get used to responding and listening to thay mind voice, without u knowing it wouldve grown so big that u can't resist but give in.

 

Ohh several man .

 

Well, I relapsed twice in the last two weeks... After 1.5 months of no PMO, I got poison oak on my dick. I used that as an excuse to jerk off with Zanfel. Then 4 days later (tonight) I relapsed fully with pornography. Really saddened about it. My story really reflects yours in that I masterbated with porn from around age 15-16 to age 29 when I discovered NoFap... I also used girls as sex toys and now in my early 30s I am single.

Last year I had two 4 month streaks with no PMO and both times were ended with pointless sexual encounters, although one was with a girl I thought could actually be a long term thing. nope.

Really disgusted with fapping and everything, I will probably have to delete my dating app and just go back to being completely abstinent and find a girl in person... but yeah relapsing with pornography is a whole other level of terrible im actually shocked I just did because I haven't actually Md with P in a lonnnng time. I drank some beers today and smoked weed last night, I guess that is just self sabotage. Life is so much better when on complete abstinence and only being sexually active with a girl you love and want to have a family with.... I wish I knew this when I was younger and wasn't brain washed with the satanic filth I was exposed to. I suppose tomorrow will be my new day 1. Ill start my streak with you bro lol

 

It seems like you just want a means of measuring your success. If that's the case, why not look at this in terms of frequency rather than a streak? It might benefit you to be the "cup half full" type in this scenario. Think about it.

 

the worst thing we can do is beat ourselves up
I have seen too many posts claiming that a relapse "nullifies" the "streak" essentially....NOT TRUE!!!
We make mistakes in life, does that nullify everything good we've done? No.
This is a journey through new territory and we WILL slip and fall, but the key ingredient here is to never give up, never!
Porn addiction can be overcome, I know this to be true in my heart of hearts.
Another key ingredient is to be OK with myself, accept myself fully with all of my faults and disgusting past...the truth is EVERYONE has an ugly side, everyone.

 

Till death we are vulnerable, that's the sad story of every addict in this planet. But that doesn't mean we are out of hope. Here listen on that hotel room, your brain tell you to immediately look that hot insta model and do fap. So here addict brain has done the work. So after 164 days too the addict brain is active. That means all this time it has been hidden somewhere or keeping a low profile, and you thought you are rewired. So i think this is case of all fapstronauts. The addictive brain will keep a low profile to trick us and will hit us when suitable moment come.

 

Be proud of the 164 days, understand where it went wrong and start again. Try and not get down on yourself.