Don't know what to talk with someone.

Find a particular interest that you can talk about and you might see you can talk for ages about it

 

I think ever situation would probably need a different ice breaker.

For example if you were at school and liked a girl in your class, you could talk to her about the class. But if you're at the gym maybe you talk to the girl about her workout, or if you see someone walking with a Starbucks coffee you could ask where the location is at. Of course there is always the standard of "Hello, How are you today?"

 

Talk to other people about what THEY know or what THEY want to talk about. Be interested in that.

 

Well, what do you want to talk about with them? What do you want to know about this girl?

You need to be genuinely interested in other people if you want to form real connections with them. There isn't a right or wrong thing to say if your intention is to get to know them better.

 

I've got the same problem. I can't start a conversation unless I have something to work with.
the unofficial start to my nofap journey began when the girl I secretly liked came up to me wanting to talk about my cameras I'd brought to class that day (it was a history of photography class, and there had been some in class discussion where we established liking a few of the same filmmakers).
and long story short, I did decide to start talking to her, but she rejected me when I told her how I felt.

 

Ask her about her self. Woman love it when you want to know about them and what they love. It itself can be a endless conversation, don't worry about dead ends or silences. If a conversation stops it will. Fearless is Fearful while talking.

 

A lot of the time its important to be able to carry bulk the conversation a bit at the start, otherwise this will happen:

you: do you like (fill in the blank) band?
her: no
you: k

...and the conversation is over, lol.
Developing a small amount of (playful) roasting humor + the ability to transition is vital (also don't transition to a question if your last line was a question)

With that in mind Chubby, what would you say instead of "k" to keep the convo going?

 

Hi, I used to have the same issue.

2 ways to solve it from my experience:

1- lower your standards.

2- You may be talking to the wrong person. Maybe you aren’t genuinely interested to getting to know him or her. Move on. You would open up with someone else, naturally

On the topic, check JulienHimself on YouTube

 

Some great advice here.

In general, people do love to talk about themselves. Not just women but everyone. It sounds bad, but really we all have some ego and we like it when someone shows genuine interest in us. The key word there is genuine. So when in doubt, bring the conversation back to something about them you'd really like to know.

Ask open ended questions when you can. Avoid things that can be answered with a yes/no.

When they're talking about themselves, listen out for any topics you can relate to. Your next question or comment can link to that topic.

Triangulation is another technique. Asking a question or making a comment about a topic in your immediate environment.

How to Win Friends and Influence People is a great book on conversation that's stood the test of time. Highly recommend that one as a starting point!

 

If you're having a hard time talking with this girl then why are you talking to her?
I'd say do your own thing and let the talking go until you've had a longer streak and have become more confident about yourself.

Let go off social media (messaging not social media itself) and go better yourself.

Don't let anyone know what you're doing, go delete your Messenger and turn off your message notifications everywhere and go for a 1 hour walk everyday, go read a book, learn a new language, sit outside with some music just to relax, go have a drink on your own, go visit some place in your own or another country.

If u do all this you atleast have something to talk about.

If this is doesn't work for you then go do something WITH HER together, this takes the focus away from having a conversation.

Go play some pool together or whatever.

If u do happen to read a message from someone then tell them you're busy, they don't need to know what you're doing.

 

Here is a trick that I used to do before I got more comfortable just talking.

You LARP as a spy. Your mission is to get to know as much as you can about the other person to report back to your agency, without them suspecting that is what you are doing. Your cover story is your actual life.

 

Best advice in this thread. Other than mine, of course...heh heh...