Escort challenge

Unfortunately, it won't. Temporarily, it might… But a girlfriend can't make you happy or satisfied. That happiness and satisfaction has to come from inside you. Someone else can't give it to you.

Seeing a prostitute is like masturbation to porn-on-steroids. It's not a loving relationship. It's not a healthy relationship. It's an unhealthy business transaction. It's selfish satisfaction, more extreme than masturbating to porn.

If you are feeling unbearably horny, you have two sensible options. One is to redirect your attention to something helpful. Drink isn't helpful; it's the opposite. Gym, therapy, work, a hobby, seeing good friends, etc. are all helpful.

Another option is to masturbate without masturbation games, and without porn, just to cancel the horniness and nothing else. That is far preferable to using porn or a prostitute.

Now, go sign up to a gym and commit to three days a week. Don't push yourself too far, or you'll stop going. To start with, do only as much as your body is comfortable with, then stop. But do it three times a week (or more, only if you're comfortable with that).

If you're not already seeing a therapist, sign up to one. You're currently using addiction (porn, prostitutes, alcohol) instead of dealing with your problems. Until you learn to deal with problems instead of hiding from them, they will continue, and so will your addictions.

Go for it!

 

Thankyou. I appreciate your words and I'm going to consider that.it really helps to read that.

 

Browsing on Instagram I saw hot girls with nice legs.. especially when I have a foot fetishised fantasy

 

Why are you browsing instagram? What should you be doing instead to built a great life?

BTW I'm nowhere near getting this nailed myself. But now instead of going to Facebook, or Twitter, Or News Websites, or even worse looking at porn or looking for an escort I'm coming here instead.

This place is a much healthier form of escape / procrastination. But I'm still kind of escaping from what I should be doing towards my goals by coming here - hope that makes sense!?

@sam30 - this quote sums it up:

 

My brain goes, "Ding dong!" Yes, that applies to me too! Thank you for the metaphorical kick in the pants

 

I still need/want to come here daily to post because it's keeping me on track.

But the amount of times that I do that currently is increasing!

It's much better to be 'wasting time' here than on other social media / trashy news websites though.

 

Hey @GA93JDeereboy
I think i recognise your name from my past posts - good to reconnect.
I'm gonna call you out here (re your post) and im gonna do that because we are quite alike in our thinking. Please dont take this personally, its just me seeing some of myself in your words...
You and me are too forgiving.
What i mean is we excuse ourselves too much.
We don't recognise the SCALE of our misdemeanours.

I've met some real nice working girls - gone back for more too. This is fucked up. FUCKED UP. These girls are not our friends. They are feeding our shitbag addiction. Lets get that in perspective.

You KNOW this is the way forward, you KNOW you need to manage your life better. If we really want to kick our habits then this is possibly the ONLY way we can do it.
I am so pleased to see some familiar names in the forum and while im saddened by the fact we are all still struggling Im back in here fighting for me and for us all to get to grips with this damn thing. We need to WORK, people. We only get results when we put EFFORT in to CHANGE.
What level of effort would you give yourself for the last time you allowed yourself to act out? How was your resistance that day? Be honest with yourself, now.
I know mine is too low so I act out. So lets be aware of our work rate and put some effort into improving it.
Please keep us posted on how this sounds to you. It is sent with a whole lot of love and a dose of honest hypocrisy!

 

Hey @Semaphore thanks for remembering me. I have mostly stuck to this thread here lately. Anyhow yes I know these girls are being seductive. Some are really trashy like on crack or drugs and all that junk. But I mean I know they aren't my friend. It's business. So I don't think that they really care about me or this or that but I was just saying she just had a pleasant personality. And No I'm not going to repeat another "date" with her. I already deleted my number I used. Yes really we need to knock this stuff off.
Today was a bit depressing day for me. I skipped lunch and just felt sick inside. I just can't seem to think orderly it seems while at work. I don't know why it seems I'm always forgetting stuff. And it seems like I'm always making dumb mistakes it seems. No I'm not constantly thinking about escorts at work but yes here and there.
Anyways on a positive note I went for a run today. At least I did something today for myself and I feel better that I did it. Anyways hope your doing good with yourself and I appreciate your post.

 

This is probably "brain fog", which is a symptom from using porn. Using a prostitute is like using porn-plus, so maybe there's your explanation?

Next time when you are tempted to see a prostitute, ask yourself, "Is this worth the brain fog and doing badly at work?"

Excellent work! Well done.

 

Brain fog, ahhh been awhile since I heard that. Could be, could also be the over drinking.
Today wasn't that bad. I'm thinking I'll look into working out during the mornings before work at some close by gym. I just don't look forward to waking up early. Ahh idk just see how it goes. Overall today wasn't a bad day.

 

Well as much as I want to give a post sharing my improvement it hasn't been quiet so much. I failed again. I had a good time and all, But you know, is this a love hate relationship I have with these escorts? Not that I frequent any escorts as a repeat but the whole wanting to hookup and get it off my mind?
I wasn't planning on doing this but then I'm not working tomorrow so and I have a little extra cash on me and blanbla bla.
I guess I need to put it in the bank.
But it just takes another hit against me and my finances. Not to say I can't afford it, but what could I have done with the money?
Before I went I was thinking of going out to a bar, well a strip club to, which obviously wouldn't lead down the right path their.
I don't have a lot of stuff I like to do really.
Seems all I want to do is f*** and that's it.

That's not good to say.
I do have other interests but I don't really get to do those things.
The day I land a girlfriend the day this will end. When I least expect it.
Or when I meet her and I know then that should be it.
I just been staying single, waiting for the one. Cause that's all I'll need is one.
But with love not just some lust or urge.

I hadn't hit the gym. Don't have really any friends that I'd want to tell this to, cause how dirty it would make me look. I just keep it to myself. Sometimes I wonder if I get busted for this maybe then I'll get my head cleared up.
Anyhow hope your doing well, I appreciate any comments aswell.

 

Time to pray to the Lord and I appreciate any prayers aswell if you do pray.

 

Oops. Sorry to hear this.

A great way to get your head out of your penis and into your brain is to volunteer for a charity. It could be a local community service, or maybe you could help out with the current disaster taking place, or maybe you have a favourite "victim" where you'd like to be involved — say, your local animal shelter. Anything that involves you taking responsibility for another living being who would be better off with your involvement.

Until illness forced me out, I was involved with several community groups. Not only did I make a difference to the community, but also it was tremendously rewarding.

No, it won't. Sorry to break the news. A girlfriend won't magically make you happy, complete, satisfied. Yes, you'll feel great for the first month, three months, maybe even six months. But, you'll still be the unhappy person who felt the need to feed his addiction. That won't go away just because you have a girlfriend. It will, in time, sooner or later, poison your relationship. Just look at all the threads where partners are busy jacking off to porn or visiting prostitutes even though their spouse loves them deeply.

Besides, how are you going to get a girlfriend when you aren't being attractive? A woman is attracted to a man who gets things done, not a man who hides away and feeds an addiction.

The way this ends is not by getting a girlfriend. That's just a temporary respite that ends in a break-up and a reversion to the norm.

The way this ends is by committing to therapy, and getting out there to contribute to the world. By becoming a better man, filled with the pride of doing the right thing. When visiting a prostitute starts to look like a stupid waste of time, because, "Dammit, I'm busy and I have better things to do right now!"

Maybe the gym isn't for you? Have you considered joining a club that plays a sport? For example, my local community centre has clubs for table tennis and for badminton. They also hold community walks just to appreciate the local nature.

When you get out there, contributing to others, and improving yourself through therapy, you will find an immediate step change, which will grow, and grow, and grow.

 

Hey @Mordobarn I always appreciate your responses here. I know this stuff won't help me find my ultimate happiness. I just am trapped in a rut. I've just been so used to this and to me I sometimes really don't have any feelings left on even thinking this is a bad thing seeing an escort.
As of now my thoughts are it's ok for escorts to do what they do if they want to sell themselves that is up to them their body their choice. It's the oldest profession or whatever they say it is.

I am involved in a community right now. I am just not taking it very seriously really. Maybe I should.
Anyways I am doing better this morning. I'm off work so it's my time to do what I need. I appreciate your suggestions. I'm not really into sports alot. But their are things. Participation in this thread is one. Or possibly giving others suggestions on how to break free from this.

I'll figure out something. Thanks again I appreciate your input.

 

Good luck, @GA93JDeereboy

 

Always good to see you @need4realchg

Appreciate that

 

Deereboy, I understand that finding a girlfriend would solve your issue?

If your country is like Ireland, the easiest way to find somebody is through dating site (T*nder, …)

You are successful on dating apps by investing in your image (pictures, lifestyle on social media,…).

The better the profile, the more likely you are to find somebody you like.

If you are interested in my advice, next time you have extra cash, invest in either a good camera or a photoshoot with a professional.

PS: It’s how I helped myself with the issue.

 

I need to end this addiction. It escalated from porn to escorts. Now it must stop.

I am ready to stop and I know I need to stop to have any form of decent life.

It has been 2 days since I failed. I am going to post on this thread until I get upto 30 days and beyond

 

3 days post failure, feeling better