Addicted to Chat Sites and Mutual Masterbation 2 str8 porn

I just realized i already commented on yhis thread LOL

 

I keep finding myself going back to there over and over again. Even with weeks or months of abstaining. Just keep cant adjust to the loneliness I feel trying to live life

 

This is what's led me back to nofap after a period of P. I found a chat and forum site, wondered what went on with the chat, and before you know it, I'm having a chat with a guy about the kind of things that turn us both on.
The site honestly opened my eyes to how quickly I could see my behaviour escalating. I'd look in the classified ads section and see people within an hour away looking to get together for group jerk off sessions. For guys that proclaimed themselves straight on their profiles that was odd but compelling. I'd fantasize about contacting people to meet and do just that.
I have a friend, not massively close, but good to chat with. He started sending 'smut' pictures in whatsapp. Just really soft funny stuff. Like seaside postcard type things. Quickly became more hardcore stuff. I can see that he is caught in the same trap I was falling into and that others have described. He's getting off on sharing porn with others and finding out what floats their boats. When I'm tired and horny, I totally feel the appeal. When I'm calm and rational, it disgusts me what I'm on the verge of becoming. I don't want to share my fantasies with another man (so I never did) and asked him ages ago to not send stuff to me. He admits that he sends stuff to others so it was never just me.

 

Hi- very new here, but signed up to reply to this thread. This has been my addiction to porn for the last 2+ years: going on these roulette-style chat sites to MO with other guys. Something about it is highly addictive, but I don’t even consider myself gay! I think this is way more common than is realized, because I have encountered many like-minded married/straight guys who just want to get off with another guy. I think it is just being addicted and lazy and wanting to get off. 3 years ago, if you would have told me I would be cammimg/chatting with other guys, I would have said you were crazy! I agree with the concept that part of it is the “ camaraderie “ aspect of it, mixed in with loneliness and porn addiction.

 

Man, this just sounds like me right now. I have surge an urge to do this!

 

It is definitely an addiction, of course brought on by porn. It’s like an offshoot of porn. And deeply addicting, I have spent many many hours on these cam sites, I have pretty much overcame by addiction to porn video sites, but camming at least to a degree took its place. These are a different thing, at least for me, much more powerful. And a huge taker of time. So just resist that urge.

 

Do you think it has anything to do with loneliness? I have a family, I meet with people and am social but I got into a rut where after the school run I came back home, where I was alone, and instead of getting stuck into work I switched on the cam. It was in a chat section of a wrestling website I was using and it was a sort of 'bator buddy' scenario. Weirdly, I would feel too guilty if I was to do something online with another woman!

 

This conversation has really been an eye-opener for me. I think this is similar to my problem also. I have recently been on some forums but I never really ever found anybody to chat with. I think what I'm yearning for is the find female who really understands me and likes to talk about my passion which happens to be sex. I really enjoy sex. Sex could be my number one hobby if I had someone who enjoyed it and wanted to share it with me. My sex life is terrible, i've been married over 30 years to a wife who has very little interest in sex and our relationship. I think basically I'm a meal ticket.

I agree with others that p*** is actually pretty boring, but when I was viewing p*** I would always be searching for a woman that just was confident and loved having sex. The look on her face and her desire to get her own satisfaction was the biggest turn-on for me. And I know that it was all fake in p*** but in real life that's what I would have loved. I also really enjoy talking about sex and wish that I could find a woman that shared that same interest. I think I may have no use for porn if I could have found that relationship.

 

That is exactly it- the “bate buddy” scenario allows for kind of a safe place to basically get off and go with no strings attached. I have crammed with women, but it is too high maintenance, especially knowing it isn’t going to turn into a real relationship with them anyway. Which is of course the unique heart of the addiction to these sites ( including the roulette-style cam sites). I think the loneliness aspect of it is definitely a part of it too. I work a lot and live in a relatively remote area, the the idea of meeting someone for a session of something so personal is part of the allure.
I also think there is an aspect of a need for male bonding on these “bate buddy” sites. I have no desire for a romantic relationship with another guy, but I do go on these sites, and while we are being honest, enjoyed it. And have met many guys who are on there not gay, but like the idea of openly talking about sex while fapping. I know it sounds weird. But it is a thing and is part of the addictive nature. I too have spent lots of time on these sites instead of doing things around the house or other projects I should have been doing.

 

Hi- I commented on your other thread too. The appeal of these chat sites is that it actually does spill over into real life ( as opposed to watching porn vids) because you are chatting or camming about sex with a real person in real time, something it sounds like you could never do with your wife. And it has the allure of not feeling like cheating.
I agree with you that if you had been with someone who shared your enjoyment of sex, you probably would not have gotten the porn addiction.

 

Thanks buddy,
A lot of the time I confuse the the 'bator buddy' thing with a confused sexuality so it's good to know that there are other straight men don't find it weird.

 

It makes sense , I try to go on here when I have little free time, I know my brain would wander off and next thing you know I’m chatting with someone, know yourself man

 

Definitely- unless you have done it, and get it, it does look like confused sexuality. To an outside observer, it just looks like if you are camming and MOing with a guy, it must be gay.

 

Sorry, I wasn’t done and accidentally hit the post button… as I was saying, these “bate buddy” cam sites are really a sorce of interaction. I was recently pondering if being on them would “ turn me gay” or something. It isn’t like that, there are too many straight married/involved guys on those cam sites for that to be true. It is more like a forbidden camaraderie thing, in my opinion. It wasn’t until I came to the realization and admitted that I enjoyed it that I could then get a leash on my overuse of the cam sites. And stop spending so much time on them.

 

That's good to know! When was the last time you used one. do you still use them and are you trying to stop completely?

 

The last time was last Saturday, and because of the powerful draw they have on me, I have began using an actual timer, to limit myself. (As part of addressing my problem, I had to first admit that yes, I do have fun on these sites, and secondly, that being on these cam sites was taking waaay to much of my time.) Part of the draw is being able to keep clicking “next” over and over. Anyway, the timer approach is really working. I had set the timer for a generous 1 1/2 hours, and was done and logged off before that. So to answer your question, at this moment in time, my goal is just to cut way down on my usage ( I don’t like the word “limit”, so I say “ cut down “). Sometime my goal might be to completely quit, but I now spend about zero time on porn vid sites. So my goal is to mitigate my time spent, not eliminate.

Do you go on these sites often? If so, I suggest at least trying the timer approach. But that would probably work for any type of porn site, to cut down. Since I decide the amount to set the timer for, I am in control of that aspect. Let me know if you try the “timer method”

 

Good idea with the timer method, because I have lost whole working days sometimes as I work at home alone. A few morns after the school run I've came back into the house and thought I'll just jack off so I can knuckle down to work and concentrate. Other mornings I've went online to 'innocently check something' and then it's like a wormhole, I'm there edging five hours later.
This urge comes on strong now and again but I haven't been cam with anyone in months. It was just other guys I was on with, I think it made me feel better that I was the only one. Are you on with guys or girls?

 

It used to be with women at first. But now it’s mainly guys. It just became easier, like me, I know the guys are there just to get off and go. Sometimes I feel the women faked orgasms, to see me cum. So it seemed more complicated. Since I was not on a cam site to find a relationship, and have no desire for a sexual/romantic relationship with a guy, camming with guys was just more cut and dried: get off and go, knowing we are there for the same reason: to satisfy a biological urge.I only canned with other straight guys who were there for that. Is that how it was for you?

Yes, I know the “wormhole effect” you wrote of, whether it be vid sites or cam sites and finding yourself there hours later, wasting half a day or more. That is where much of my guilt and bad feelings came from.

By using the timer method, I have cut down by at least 80%! And feel so good about the projects I have accomplished using that time for better use. I continue to use that to build my aversion to cam sites, realizing the wasted hours I will never get back.

 

I never cammed with a woman so don't have it to compare to but I enjoyed the camming with men. I think it brought out the competitive side in me.. who was bigger, lasted longer, produced more etc. I haven't done it since last year but I've such a strong urge to now. If I do go back I'd def use that timer method!

 

Chatting was a very big problem for me too, and I think it's an even bigger addiction for some people than porn is. With chatting, you can lead it in whatever direction you want it to go. It's much more interactive, and there's potential for infinite novelty because of that one factor. It can definitely be so much more stimulating than watching videos because the viewer has no control over the outcome of the videos. With chatting, however, you are the writer, director, producer, and cast.