The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Dawn of the 1st day.

 

Check in day 173

 

I ended up relapsing last night
I journalled and got something out of my chest while logging and I think this led me to resentful feelings. I relapsed out of rage.
I've been keeping too much of heavy feelings inside and the only way I find to liberate this tension is through PMO.

 

I'm back for the challenge. Day 0.

 

I have fallen.

 

Day 3

Don't beat yourself up when resentful. Don't get attached to feeling resentful or angry, it's an addiction on its own.

Backup stronger, see it more as a little slip rather than a complete fall. The worst thing we can do after relapsing is feeling like we lost everything or self pity because we're back to day 0. There's no way for us to accept ourselves unless absolutely perfect quitting nofap permanently within a few tries. Rather we should be happy with ourselves for making it this far and help ourselves up back stronger rather than push ourselves down further and binge. Can't learn to ride a bicycle without falling and even then you may still fall. Just as important as doing nofap is handling relapses that will come naturally especially more when starting off.

 

Checking in day 126.

 

Magical Day 5!
Thx for your wishes guys Corona still got me but Im feelin much better already!
Stay strong evrbody! We can do this!

 

I have two days also to prepare for the interview and I am very anxious.

 

So I. Let's stand up and continue together as a team

 

Day 0 >> Nazgûl (You were once a man, a King, now fallen to the power of PMO)

Hello Fellows,

I fell again. After 16 days. Two things I have to tell you:

1. The chaser effect is a thing. About one week I was with my wife, and two days ago I had a strong urge that I was sure I was going to relapse. But I seduced her and we went together, It was a very good experience to alleviate the urge with her and not with my hand. Also, I am sure that some rewriting in my brain is happening.

2. Even though I fell today with a MO in the shower. I must say that after those streaks I am not the same as before. I do not have the habit anymore of PMO every day when I work from home, or MO before sleeping, or even after peeing. Now I have techniques to maintain my streaks for at least two weeks. Even though I haven't reached the reboot I am better now. I am sure that I'm gonna reach my goal.

I love you fellows and thank you for being here. And see you on the way.

 

Checking in with this quote:

“I will take the Ring, though I do not know the way.” — Frodo

 

Checking in day 4 - reading up on Taoist semen retention in the hope that by doing its practises now I will better control the urges to come in the future

 

day 3

Today, an urge appeared, and it lightly hit me (peek). It was far from throwing me to the ground (edging), but it made me notice that my skills to escape or slash the urges are still too weak. So, I decided, just to be safe, to put up more armor (p blockers) while I don't develop my skills a bit more. My armor is quite light right now, but I think it will be enough.

 

Day 398

 

Today was a bit of a rush. Woke up with an urge to M, my mind was telling me "go for it, you screwed it up last night anyways, you have nothing to lose". In this times, don't think is the best option, I just got up and went do my stuff. I'm gonna try it a little bit different this time. I won't be aware of the counting, I'll just let an app count it for me and I'll try to forget about it. I remeber that the advice that most helped me in the past was about living each day by itself, not worrying with future or past. After following this advice I did my longest streak. I think that I kinda lost this mindset, so I'm going to restore it in my thoughts.

 

Exactly.

I'm ready to embrace and start from here. I'm an Orc.

 

Day 10

Good to hit the double digits again. Went for a nice walk earlier. I live close to some nice walking areas along the water and it's starting to warm up. First day of spring coming up!

 

I appear before you once again a Nazgul. Only getting to be an Uruk-Hai for one day at a time really isn't much fun.

It's always Day 8 for me, remarkably consistently. I stay clean for eight days and then fall partway through the ninth. Even armed with this knowledge, it's like there's always some twist in my outside circumstances to throw a wrench in my plans for resisting.

The way I see it, these might as well be one and the same. Hope you're doing better than I am.

St. Joseph, pray for us!

 

Day 96 complete

working from the office helps me a lot.