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Escort challenge

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by need4realchg, Nov 14, 2019.

Are you struggling with paid-sex?

  1. Yes— and I would join the challenge/group

  2. No, but I would like to join too

  3. Yes— but not interested in a challenge or a group

Results are only viewable after voting.
  1. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

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    Hey i appreciate that tips. I'll keep you in mind.
     
  2. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

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    Well just wanted to share a few thoughts on the escort thing. So I met a lady we hung out and everything and we got to talking about prostitutes. She asked me if I payed for sex before and I said I have. I just asked her what she thought about guys who pay for sex and she was saying it's ok it's better then a guy raping so. And yes I agree there in that point, anyways right now I just feel that escorts are simply sex workers providing a service. Now some are probably a crackhead or trashy and definitely not something you would want to be around. I think they should be able to do what they want to do if they want to sell themselves that's ok by me their body.
    Me i have had my spells of just having a strong urge and wanting to just get one out and that's not good to have that. That stuff needs to come to an end and learning to control that is important. Seeing escorts doesn't really help me grow in my long-term goals i have.
    Anyways also an escort experience isnt nearly as good as a regular woman who isn't wanting money for sex IMO. I've had a lot of fun with say woman who just are wanting to hookup like me or whatnot. But yes it's addicting as heck. And it is better for me to not use them.
    For some people maybe escorts are ok for. Maybe every now and then. But I've felt a lot of empty ness from using them as well. Anyways I'm just going to stop using to work on myself, grow as a person, have self control.
    Maybe some of this doesn't align with your thoughts, I'm always open to hearing others thoughts on this if they think their is any places where they feel escorts belong.
    Hope everyone is well, I'm doing good.
     
  3. im_alive

    im_alive Fapstronaut

    The point that the women saying it's better than raping... is just odd - how can someone compare the 2 things?

    Anyway, I think for some people it's ok to see an escort.

    If I was single, with no desire for a long term relationship, it didn't turn into a problem that took over the rest of my life and caused me problems in other areas it might be ok.

    But for me, for example:
    • I'm not single and I was lying to my partner, covering my tracks and feeling anxious all the time about this.
    • It took over most of my thinking time.
    • It affected the relationship with my partner and family.
    • It cost me money.
    • It cost me my mental health.
    • It affected my business.
    • It aided in the break up of my first marriage.
    • If I got caught, the shame would have been too much to bear.
    • etc.
    I think the fact that you are here is showing that it's causing you issues in other areas of your life and causing you problems.

    You mention emptyness. I remember when I was split up with my first wife, we had separated and she had moved out of our home. I went to see an escort and the for the first time as a single man.

    Afterwards I felt that emptyness you're talking about, it was the first time I had felt like this after seeing an escort. Not sure why.
     
  4. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    I don’t think normalising seeing escorts is healthy. It is like normalising playboy, that led to more and more hardcore stuff. Addictions are things that you do more of that damages you. With a partner have a lot of sex is fun, but is unlikely to lead to addiction as there is no harm occurring. In addiction some damage is occurring as seen in the brain scans of addicts. The damage is caused by actions that are not fulfilling and leading towards anything. Having sex with a partner is leading to a relationship and hopefully a lifetime of happiness. Having sex with an escort is not only leading nowhere, but is damaging your self esteem because it is training your brain that no one loves you so you have to pay for sex. It is damaging the escort because it is training her brain to believe she is worthless and a commodity that can be bought. This multiplication of negative emotions is the fuel that drives addictions. Sticking to positive emotions will allow us to avoid unfulfilling activities and lead fulfilling and enjoyable lives. I know it is harder to do that to say. I am now 4 days since I last paid for sex, before that it was about a month. In the last year I paid for sex about 6 times and want the last episode 4 days ago to be the last time ever.
     
  5. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    I notice that when I feel lonely, rejected etc. I need comfort and connection… I should look to get these from friends and a girlfriend etc. instead I go to strangers in porn and escorts. This demonstrates how messed up my reward system and coping mechanisms are. I am now fully aware of these issues and hope by observing them, I can put an end to them permanently
     
  6. Agreed. A prostitute is a kind of masturbation, because it's just satisfying a craving without any connection. It's a business transaction, like super-porn. Horribly unhealthy.
    This is known to be a major driver for addictions. You are absolutely correct that you need to find connection, rather than instant gratification, from friends, family, acquaintances, joining a club, etc.
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  7. Totally agree.
     
    Mordobarn likes this.
  8. Yes. You are becoming self aware. For me this was rhe real first step. I was hiding from my reality in every encounter and shrinking inside as a result. It's the opposite of obesity.

    Becoming aware and writing sharing is sooo incredibly healthy. Now i journal everyday. Not so much online but it serves a huge purpose. I learned this from nofap. Journal your day and see yourself and self awareness grow.
     
  9. I like your avatar, but I'd like to see the full version (I can't quite read it). Do you have a copy of the full version, please?
     
  10. fighter562

    fighter562 Fapstronaut

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    First of all, be compassionate with yourself. Is not you are failing, the neurochemical balance in your brain is failing, what is a completely a different story. You shouldn't focus so Much in the problem. Is more effective focus in your plan when the temptation comes. I'm free from p*#n since three years ago amd now I keep subtle things like watch dance videos oj tiktok. So, my point is, is possible, man. Believe me. The gross things like scort and the PMO chain is the main thing, in that order. And then. You can continue with others. First, Identify what are you doing, feeling or thinking when the thoughts comes, and Replace that moment radically with positive action but in a different environment. For example just run. Is a hack for your brain. Your brain's path can replicate the same road. So, be patient and apply funny but effective strategies. Juat start now, and with little little little (sometimes you will feel shame for Those) goal. Tell. Us. More then.



     
    {Ananta} likes this.
  11. Thank you!
     
  12. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

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    Hope all is well everyone. I'm doing ok, well i really need to post more success then just the relapses but then i don't know guys, my mindset on this whole thing is different then when i first came here on this thread. Maybe it's because I don't find this escort activity to be a bad thing? Well i do and I don't. Perhaps a professional provider who gives good service i guess it's ok. But the others say the ones on drugs or something that's kinda dirty.
    Anyways, I am doing alright, I'm still routing for everyone who is struggling. I know most of us are guys and it's hard to control. Especially if your not getting any. Anyhow, i want us all to overcome this, or be what we want to be. I really prefer meeting normal regular woman rather then paying up front. But then the other, it seems it can often be cheaper to just pay for it it front get to business and be done with it.
    Even if that is true it's just it is not as satisfying as meeting someone who isn't a sex worker to me due to the connection and all of that.
    Anyways I'm not as addicted as i was before, but i still am addicted.
    Do i want to have to rely on paying up front or feeling urges to have a "need" for it? Absolutely not.
    But maybe it's ok for a little fun here and there?
    Anyhow overall I'm doing alright. Any advice is always appreciated.
     
    {Ananta} likes this.
  13. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    I want to give up escorts and pmo for good and have real sex with someone who I have an emotional connection with. I have been on a downward . Now I am back on track for the last 2 days…
     
  14. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

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    Keep fighting! Keep pushing, keep looking and you will find someone.
     
  15. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    Thanks the motivation helps!
     
    GA93JDeereboy likes this.
  16. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    Finally made it to a week. It has taken a while to get back to 7 days pmo and escort free… next goal 14 days
     
  17. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    Day 8, feeling low, but determined
     
    {Ananta} and GA93JDeereboy like this.
  18. bob_zero

    bob_zero New Fapstronaut

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    I suggest learning to meditate day 31 now, you can get through this brother.
     
  19. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, I am getting through it slowly
     
    {Ananta} likes this.

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