Sex worker coming to town this weekend

Dont do it man. Waste of money and self dignity. You should do your Best not to browse those sites and Block all communication to escorts.

 

Mate, you'll just have to decide: Do you want to live freely or do you wanna keep going back to your old habits. That is your decisision. You are in control. You are not a victim of your addiction. You can say "No" if you want to.

I know it sounds harsh and it's also said way easier than it is actually done. But look: You are basically saying you really want to see an escort. Is that true? Do you really want that or are you clinging to your old life, because it is painful to cut stuff like this out? You are a member of this forum, so I think it is clear what the course of action should be. If you really feel like you can't control yourself, that's okay. It's no shame to recognize ones own limitations. But you can work around it. If you have to, lock yourself out of your devices for the weekend. Change passwords, install blockers, disable your internet connection, do whatever is necessary. Do it before the weekend starts, because you'll not have the mental clarity necessary once the weekend is here. Also, prepare that you'll hate yourself for denying your own access. But that is only temporary.

Also, look at it this way: Seeing the escort will most likely be not as great as you imagine it to be. You imagine it to be great, cause she is hot and agreed to certain fetish acts. Maybe she isn't that great a person, maybe your performance anxiety will kill your desire, maybe you don't really like your fetish once acted out, maybe she doesn't like it and so you can't really enjoy it, maybe your ED will make everything weird. That's all not that unlikely. In your head, you probably have a romanticized idea of what a date with her will be like. Try to develope a more realistic way of looking at it.

I also want to suggest, that you take all the money you saved by not seeing her and use it for something good. Either save it or spend (some of) it on a nice little thing for yourself. Maybe invite a friend or family member to dinner. Or order some nice little thing. Or donate it to a good cause. Whatever. Just show yourself, that there are better use cases for your money.

Make the decision. Good luck.

 

I had thought of seeing an escort in the past and was able to talk myself out of it by thinking the following:

1. Am I willing to possibly catch a disease and hope it's one that is treatable? Keep in mind these people are having sex with random strangers and you have no idea what they might be carrying.
2. What if this is a set up to rob me? I'd have my wallet and car keys with me and they could run off with it. Would I really have the guts to call the police and explain what happened? Maybe a bit drastic but it's a possibility.
3. What if this is a sting by the cops? How would I explain an arrest to my family, friends, and what kind of impact would that have on my future?
4. Are there better ways to spend the money? Yes or don't spend it and just save it.

 

You will not miss a thing,

if you cut that hooker out if your life.
C'mon she sells her body. Do you really want that cheap and self destructing kind of sex?

You need to help yourself.

And

She needs to help herself.

But realize: your brain tricks you that you will miss a big opportunity.
The truth is:
.
You will not miss

a thing!!

 

As long as you think your life is nothing and consists of nothing it will be that way. As long as you belief what if you never recover you will never recover. As long as you think paying for sex will give you some relief you will remain trapped. It makes absolutely sense your emotions feel dull.
How can you change that? Try to find bits and pieces you can be grateful for. You are here, talking to us, this means you are taking into consideration to change. And it is possible. You can change. What else is there that is good about your life? You have enough food? A bed to sleep in? And think of moments you were at peace with yourself or at least less unahappy. Were there such moments? Think of reasons why it is worth changing and working on recovery?

 

The truth will going to set you free.


Admitting you have nothing else, is a great insight. It's your truth.
Seeing the truth is better than numbing the pain again and again.

And facing the pain is less scary than you think....

I would like to suggest: say goodbye to that cheap hooker and start journaling here every day.

How does that sound to you?

 

Yes, it does make sense. Actually, what you said makes a lot of sense to me, because I often have phases where I feel very similiar. Just look at my latest profile post from yesterday. As you can see, I suffer from very bad anhedonia and I often feel like porn is the only thing able to spark some excitement in me. EVERYTHING else in my life just feels boring and dull, no matter what it is. Exercise? Socialising? Learning? Heck, even video games? Netflix? Boring and tedious. But I also know, that watching porn will not help me, but instead make it worse and worse and worse. I know that I cannot allow myself to go back. That's painful, but that's how it is.

But you also said another very important thing, maybe even without realizing it conciously. Your life is nothing and consists of nothing. That's good, because you can fix that. You can make your life something. It doesn't even have to be great for starters. Think about things you think you would like to have or do in your life. Just brainstorm. Let your thoughts run wild and don't judge your ideas. Just make a list of all the things popping up in your head. Anything. Once you've done that, evaluate which of those are easiest and which are hardest to attain. Rank them basically. And then pick one thing from the list, preferably one of the easier things and think about what you will need to do in order to achieve that one thing. Think about all the tiny little baby-steps it takes and just start as low as you have to. There is no shame in starting small. Starting small is a thousand times better than to not start at all. Doing all those little things obviously is no guarantee that your plan will work out, but your probability rises significantly. With time, the chance that your life developes into something instead of nothing rises to close to 100%.

 

I understand that very well. I often feel like that too. I often see people, who seem to be happy with their lifes and catch myself thinking things like "Why are you happy, while I have to suffer? You don't deserve happiness". It's harsh and untrue, but I can't help but think it sometimes.

That's because the symptomps you describe are very common with addiction. Anhedonia and desenseitization are core elements of every addiction. Therefore, many people on these forums can relate a lot.

Seeking professional help with problems we can't solve alone, is a very wise step. I want to encourage you to try it, if you can. Not everybody can afford therapy obviously, but if you can it's worth a shot. If you want to talk about the stuff you're feeling, you are invited to write me a DM. No pressure though, it's also cool if you don't want to. I understand that. Good luck.

 

Best thing you can do man!

 

It might be cause sex is an evolutionary thing, a drive to keep humanity going. We were made to have sex to procreate but we were not made to drink alcohol nor were we made to take drugs

 

Because your deepest parts (your identity, deepest emotions) are involved with sexuality.

 

1. Because with technology today it's easily accessible anytime and anywhere.
2. You can do it in the privacy of your own home and no one would know.

 

In these statements you are exhibiting a lack of interest, anxiety and hopelessness.

This is a classic case of dopamine dysregulation. You could spend your weekend watching a YouTube video on dopamine by Huberman of the Huberman lab from Stanford University. It will teach you a lot about yourself.

When we spike dopamine through P or illicit sex, the consequence is your baseline dopamine level drops. That leads to hopelessness, depression and lack of interest in anything. The more we spike ourselves with it, the more useless, dull and hopeless the rest of our lives seem.

Stop the spike (and the drip from anticipation) and suddenly all the greys and browns and sepia tones that characterize how you see your life currently will be transformed into vibrant colors. It will be hard work. It is not easy, but abstinence will simply lead to such a miraculous transformation. Best

 

A half hour of fun is not worth all you're trying to change. You'll regret it after its done. My biggest principle is i will never pay for sex. I've been lonely a lot of times in my life and I've been faithful to my wife. Of she doesn't want to have sex with me I'll take care of myself. But i will never pay money for someone to give me affection.

 

Seeing a therapist could be helpful but I’m gonna tell you what will save you it saved me, find your passion outside of the sex addiction I have several and I’ve had them
most of my life, but when I fell off the path of my passions my lust for sex mostly escorts took over and I let it destroy my marriage of 20 years
Now I’m back on my path no porn no escorts
My passions weightlifting, my dogs, horror movies and horror collectibles comic movies and old comics, reading history
And music I got a turntable and buy a lot of rock and roll on vinyl.
Find your passion. There you will find the waters that heal your life.