Ever had a good day, but you relapse the day after?

Things were going well. You felt good. You forgot about the negative effects of pmo. You stopped being vigilant and let your guard down...

Always remain alert, attentive, vigilant to the wanderings of the mind.

 

You're a porn addict that is the reason you relapsed. It had nothing to do with how your day went. It's something that you'll always have to deal with and need to develop a plan for yourself so that when you think "what if I search this" you don't search it.

 

@I_Am_Strong_54, absolutely correct here. It's not about "days" but lifestyle.

 

I know "why":
It just popped up in my head, “what if I search this?” And it was over.

It's not bad, it's just that as addicts we can't fight that thought. "For reasons yet obscure the addict will at certain times have no effective defense against the first thought.". I have a friend who like me hasn't had to use pm+ at all in years who his last relapse was just like that. He said it all started with one little thought, one harmless web search.
Now a lot of times this brings up despair for people and that's good if we don't give in to negativity about it. I despair of my own ability to keep those thoughts from ever occurring and that frees me up to ask someone "now what am I going to do about it?"

"Mainly, I just don’t understand why.". Luckily we don't have to know why. In many things we do, like at work I have to know why things are happening and in school I had to know why. But not here thank goodness. I just have to find out from someone else what to do next.

 

Excellent comments here, I was very close to relapsing on day 30 in a similar way. I had not slept well, was panicking about a work deadline, and couldn't focus on the day. I found myself wandering back to a site that had fight videos etc. Saw a p star (fully clothed) and soon enough I had searched her name. It didn't matter that I was 30 days extremely clean, even not fantasizing. All that didn't matter, I just had to stick to the plan... it's my ap that helped. But overall, we are all just addicts.

 

Don't put yourself down. Each day clean is a battle won. Each relapse is a lost skirmish. Just keep winning more battles than you lose....your streaks will get longer and longer.

Here's an exercise. How can "good day you" prevent future you from doing something? I mean physically prevent it.

Remember, willpower alone does not always do the trick. We're addicts, who have lost a good deal of our ability to control ourselves in certain situations. So, the you that wants to quit right now......what can you do to stop yourself tomorrow when you say "nah, don't care"