Have I been relapsing this entire time...

My opinion is that everyone needs to have their own definition of a relapse. For me, my definition is anytime I actively seek out porn or something closely related to porn like escort sites or adult chats. It's probably a bit of a grey area, looking at hot pictures on social media, but if you
re not pleasuring yourself to it, that would not be a relapse by my definition. Being aware it could lead to a full relapse would be kept in the back of my head.

 

I agree with @I_Am_Strong_54
Personally, any explicit sex scene involving real, live human beings is a relapse. That and masturbation. Do what keeps you the most sane. All the shame and questioning doesn't help with anything.

Edit: Let me add to my definition of relapse. If I sexually act out in any way that is used for personal pleasure and not for connection with a real, live woman who I love and am committed to for the rest of my life. That, to me, is a relapse.

 

Same for me ! The urge it's sometimes strong...

The other day i was at my friend's house. There were three friends, all girls. One of them had her trousers a bit down and i could see something. Another took her bra strap down with a loose shirt. Man i think they provoked me.. they liked to be seen ahahah however i talked to them and treated as human beings and somehow i didn't felt bad.
I think is not healthy even for them to do that...

Another acquaintance wanted me to "jump over her". We were smoking weed but she put in the spliff some opium. She denied but i saw well, plus normal spliffs don't have that effect and hash doesn't have that smell. I felt the exctitement. She laid down and exposed her back to me, touching my leg. I did not move an inch because of reasons and she faked falling asleep. Sometimes she checked me opening her eye a bit and i clearly saw that.
Some months later she told another guy with whom she hangs out that i wanted to involve her in my sexual fantasies and she was disappointed with that. Funny enough, she was the one talking about orgies, not the opposite, and i have all messages as proof.. This guy wrote to me with threats. He doesn't know the truth.. but he likes her very much and wanted to protect her..

In this kind of context i would feel like a toy in the hand of whoever comes in front of me. Can they manipulate me just because of my sexual excitement? HELL NO.

Maybe that girl deserved a moment of passion with me.. maybe not... i don't know.

After all that useless writing, i think we can make it - containment in watching - and if we fail sometime, we will found reasons to not to watch again that are not guilt or repression and will found newer strenght and passion in life.

Dont' hang out too much with pirates 'cos they will make you assault some ship someday, even if you don't like rhum.

 

It is not a relapse IMO. But it is a substitute for porn and you will get some dopamine release from it. P/subs can be a problem. Like all sexual things, we eventually want more. More frequent, yes, but also more revealing. It is the start of a slippery slope. So, you are not doing yourself any favours. You are being celibate, but not wise. Try and cut these out pal.

 

It is difficult to say. Perhaps not. The main danger is what it can lead to.

I think a p/sub can be damaging if the individual has a specific fetish for feet, for example. If such a guy looks at feet exposed, it would produce enough dopamine to slow down recovery.

 

It was a moment of weakness. A few seconds is not going to cause great harm. Don't overthink it. Be grateful you clicked away.

 

Do what is best for you.
Some people consider this a relapse but alot of people then watch porn after since they basically relapsed anyways.

I would say this is not a relapse as long as you're not doing this the whole time.
I also dont consider it a relapse because it's to easy to give in to actual PMO knowing your long streak is gone.

 

It depends on what you think a relapse is, for me it isn't. Take it seriously and go with it bro.
I can give you a nice tip, if you're using Instagram press the "Not interested" and reboot your account bro.
KEEP THE GOOD WORK.

 

I think it's simpler if you look at "is this action loving or not.". Also I recommend taking a break from some of the words you're used to using, not as a moral thing but a happiness thing. That's what I did and now that I'm happily sober I use them a fair bit and I find my use of them is more often coming from exuberance than frustration, despair, a desire for attention etc. Not so much the words themselves as the way they're used. And it's like that with the other stuff. Also important to remember this is always your choice not something you have to do. I sometimes hear people say "I'm not allowed to x y or z" and that's simply not true. For me I find I'm happier without substitute pornography, I feel more buoyant less negative about all of life. The idea of streaks makes it like a silly video game, that doesn't hold anyone's interest nearly as long as pornography does . So like I said, constantly check "is this loving or not?" And you'll know.

 

Good points being raised. Point is, just stop it - you are using that as a p/sub. These 1. often leads to relapse, and 2. delays your healing. You're effectively still using visual images for a high.

Just ask yourself - does a normal/ healthy man have to be going on social media to look at women? (Clothed or not) Also, a healthy person can make a conscious decision to avoid sex scenes or such movies. If you come across anything accidentally just immediately walk away from it.

And if you feel you're 'in control', you are basically on nofap because you could not control using such videos and images for pleasure, so just make a decision to stop in for 3 months. You do not have to do it forever, after a couple of months of keeping away from the social media habits and images you stop seeing their usefulness. After my nofap I'd come across video of women being seductive and just ask myself what value that adds to me and move on.