Is emotional intimacy non existent?

There are many people your age who want legitimate healthy relationships, done of them are even men! What I mean is this: in the original post the words "relationship" and "romance" are used synonymously when they are not. The same way that romance and sex are not equivalent, but my brain tends to think all the these things are mixed together like a feelings casserole. Another thing I relate to from the original post is judgementalism of my peers. It is easy to focus on the people doing things I think are unhelpful. But part of why I judge "loose" people is my own past sexual acting particularly the hundreds of hours in which I chose to watch pornography. It's easy for me to think that a whole generation only wants sex when I used pornography and used non-porn as P. "They only want sex" the turnaround is "I only want sex" it's projection. Of course you might relate to me in that while that's true of me it's not the only truth I also want love, approval, and to be a man who does the right thing,, there are many things I wanted besides sex all the time. That's why I joined a group that makes so I haven't had to act out for a long time. And that means I started to work on relationships that had nothing to do with either of us wanting (or hating) sex, open and vulnerable relationships with people who were sober off their porn addiction.

 

Girls who want casual sex are probably not the ones looking for relationships. If they want sex, that's probably just what they are looking for. No strings attached. By getting involved with them, and then pursuing a relationship you are "breaking the contract". Try asking the ones out who are not looking for sex.

Also, a lot of young women are told NOT to pursue relationships because school/career is "more important". Most will still want relationships, but be aware of that dynamic.

 

One trick is that we tend to think emotional intimacy comes from outside ourselves that we'll meet someone who can get through to us. I think it comes down to us. While I found intimacy in a lot of surprising places when I started practicing open mindedness looking back all of it could have been easily precluded if I had chosen not to be open to intimacy, if I had chosen to hold back. It cannot start without me, meaning no matter what the other person is like, says or wants it's a non starter if I'm not available for it. I cannot be forced to be intimate that's an oxymoron.

 

just use and abuse those whores, they don't care about anyone but themselves so damage them as much as you can then leave. You think they care about you? They'd stab you if it served their purpose.