Name the main three things that keep you motivated to do Nofap

3 main things to keep me motivated: The challenge, the bettering of self, the benefits

Benefits? Concentration, productivity, better mood

Downsides? Sometimes moody cause of extra energy

In a relationship yes, having sex makes it harder to not relapse because of the chaser effect so im doing a hardmode run right now to get back on track.

Porn is not ok period so is definitely not ok in a relationship.

And relapse depends on your own goals that you set

 

I guess my 3 would be

1. Mental Health
2. Sexual functioning
3. Beating addiction

 

1. Becoming more social
2. Dont be depressiv and tired all the time
3. Increased self-estem

 

The 3 things that keep me motivated

1. Improving my mental health
2. To feel well in general, and by extension enjoy life more
3. To be sexually healthy and capable

Benefits? More energetic, happier, calm

Downsides? Irritability (especially early on), boredom, trouble sleeping

These are the benefits, and downsides I've seen so far, but I admit I've never been on a streak even as long as a month, so my experience with that is limited.

Did I ever suffer from anxiety or depression before nofap? Absolutely. I have struggled for a long time now with pretty severe social anxiety, and some depression, or put more accurately emotional bluntness

Did nofap help me overcome those things? I can say that on the few streaks where I've made it a few weeks, yeah it seems to help significantly on all fronts. The difference is very noticeable.

Am I currently in a relationship? No, I'm not. That said, if I was I would not consider having sex a relapse.

Do I think it's healthy to watch porn in a relationship? No, I absolutely don't. I don't think porn is ok or healthy in any circumstance, but especially in a relationship. It can be very hurtful. For this reason, I won't even consider pursuing a relationship at the moment.

 

Hey BlueMarlin, thanks for starting this thread. It's been great reading everyone's experiences and perspectives.

Three things that keep me motivated:
1. My significant other. She hates porn, finds it offensive, finds it makes her feel second best, second rate etc. Her dislike of it helps me keep the truth of the habit in clear focus.
2. Not having the weight of living a double life, so I guess a clear mind and soul. I hate the weight that pmo creates inside on my mind and body, and when I get on a streak, it makes me feel so so much better and lighter.
3. Continually refocusing on the person I want to grow into. Trying to break this habit forces me to think about what is and isn't working in my life and helps me to plan and strategize how to live my best.

Improvement for me
1. Better intimacy with my partner
2. Clearer mind
3. Better productivity (even quick p and m fixes add up time wise over a week, let alone full pmo sessions). Do can easily lose a lot of hours in this habit.

Negative things: Definitely mood swings from withdrawals, and sadness which is I believe is my mind/body trying to get me to relapse to feel 'better'. Just have to learn to ride that wave (sometimes I succeed and other times I don't).

I have suffered depression and anxiety in the past, but not so much at the moment. I would say that PMO significantly aggravates both in me. So the more I can avoid PMO the better. I find journaling, meditation and exercise the three best things for both of these.

I am in a relationship and we are intimate. I would agree with others that it can lead to the chaser effect. I have been both successful and unsuccessful at avoiding this. I am not experienced enough with this all yet to be able to say whether or not having a proper sexual outlet is best/better than complete abstinence or not, though I know the site says that complete abstinence is best for a proper reset. But do what works for you and is realistic too

I hope this helps you and others out there.

 

1.) Mental Health (shame/isolation)
2.) Relationships (not just women but people in general)
3.) Energy (it’s waste of time and energy)

 

Motivating factors: PIED, depression/anxiety, was failing uni, messed up my long term relationship, poor relationship with people.

Improvements: Focus and healthy life. Passed uni, fixed pied, no more depression , got physically fit, having healthy relationships with women now and making friends with a clearer mindset.

Downsides: None really. The low moods/ semen leakage etc all go away when you complete the streak. Just the price to pay for years of abuse, so I don't see any point complaining about it.

Depression: My depression (clinically diagnosed and took meds) was derived from the fact that I was not performing academically, was living a double life using pills and was running out of money etc. After nofap you fix most of these things that we neglect, just by focusing more time on important things - and the depression etc goes away. Most of us have these issues e.g. can't have relationships with women, scared, stagnated in life etc. We must work to improve these.

I was in a long term relationship when in pmo, I spoiled that and we broke up. I currently have a girlfriend and have dated another woman last year. Sex with a woman is natural, nothing wrong with that. If you don't have pied I personally think you can have sex on nofap as long as it's not making you relapse. If it's making you relapse or you have pied take a couple of months to let the brain reset from the holds of porn.

Finally, we are addicts of pmo. So unfortunately p and m are serious risks for us even after we are healed. Better to stay away from p and m forever really, because either always gradually leads to relapse even after years of being clean.

 

What a great question!
My three main whys are.
1 I like to be happy.
2. I'd rather not die from my sex addiction.
3. I dislike being controlled, lied to or not a man of integrity. That might make more than three whys but if it helps each has a wide gap,, #2 is a distant second and #3 is far behind it. Unless they're all interested.

Three benefits:
1. I hate myself a lot less every year I'm kept sober.
2. I'm able to try to be of usefulness to other people, mainly my fellow perverts.
3. So far I haven't died from my sex addiction

Great questions!

 

1. Hope of a better future
2. Physical and Mental Health
3. To avoid the painful aftereffects of a PMO session

 

1. I have strong anhedonia and want to fix it, because I can't take it anymore.
2. I am always tired, no matter how long/short is sleep and what I eat. I want to fix that, because I can't take it anymore.
3. I know my dick will not work with a woman. I want to fix that.

1. When I'm clean for a while, I feel so much more energetic. It's unreal.
2. When I'm clean for a while, my concentration is soooo much better.
3. When I'm clean for a while, my social anxiety gets a little bit better.

Everything of the above.

For the first few weeks, all of the above. Withdrawal makes me absolutely miserable for a while. I get even more depressed, sad, lethargic, angry, anti-social, anxious, sometimes even suicidal.

Before: Yes; During: YES; After: I don't know yet.

Single.

I would not, if I had a partner. Having a normal sex life pretty much is the whole point of this.

I would feel like I'm betraying my spouse, even if she told me she was fine with it. If she watched it, I don't know how I would feel. I think I would be fine with it, as long as it doesn't happen all the time. In general, I think every couple must discuss this and decide for themselves. There is no such thing as right or wrong in my opinion, even though - as an addict - I'm obviously concerned about the potential effects it might have. So, I don't think we can call it "healthy" but it might not necessarily be "unhealthy" either. It depends.