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Performance Anxiety

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Jay.Rhone34, Mar 22, 2022.

  1. Jay.Rhone34

    Jay.Rhone34 Fapstronaut

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    Soo I found the root of my problem, I was thinking of sex with my partner and then I start having these negative thoughts and boom I feel a pain in my chest , it’s my anxiety . That’s why I tuned Into porn frequently because physical contact with another person was freighting to me . I feel relieved now I know the cause but on the other hand I’m sad because I have this crippling anxiety , should I look into medication? What should I do ?
     
    wood_slab likes this.
  2. Capybara

    Capybara Fapstronaut

    Could you elaborate a bit? Do you have a regular partner or is this anxiety with any future partners you might “theoretically” have? Is the anxiety based on a past event or experience? Before you reach for meds, I think you need to break down the cause of the problem. Often once we understand our problem, it can make it much easier to deal with.
     
  3. Jay.Rhone34

    Jay.Rhone34 Fapstronaut

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    Well the anxiety starts happening Before I even actually have sex, I start to wonder if it’ll go right, will my erection be strong enough for penetration. Once I finally get into the room I’m ok for a minute then I think about my penis and short comings and then my Erection dies down





    Could you elaborate a bit? Do you have a regular partner or is this anxiety with any future partners you might “theoretically” have? Is the anxiety based on a past event or experience? Before you reach for meds, I think you need to break down the cause of the problem. Often once we understand our problem, it can make it much easier to deal with.[/QUOTE]
     
  4. Capybara

    Capybara Fapstronaut

    Do you actually suffer from erectile dysfunction or are you so nervous about sex that you lose your erection? As in medical or psycological?
     
    wood_slab likes this.
  5. Jay.Rhone34

    Jay.Rhone34 Fapstronaut

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    I think it’s because I’m too nervous , I actually get Erections/ morning wood, porn & Masturbation has hurt me a little, I feel I’m used to my hands too , I feel it’s all psychological.
     
  6. Capybara

    Capybara Fapstronaut

    Well that’s great news, psychological is much easier to correct than physical. My advice, for what it’s worth, is keep off the porn so that there is only one type of sex in your life, rather than “the easy one and the scary one”. I think after you’ve had a number of successful experiences with your partner, you will realize that there is nothing to be anxious about and things should calm down a bit for you. But if you keep reverting back to porn, then you’re going to keep the cycle going indefinitely. Allow yourself to make sex a calm, passionate experience, not a “job” that you have to get right. You can overcome this mate.
     
    wood_slab likes this.
  7. Jay.Rhone34

    Jay.Rhone34 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you man !!! I’m on day 4 with no masturbation / no porn , I found myself actually getting an erection thinking of my partner , not a fantasy Porn, I’m so happy
     
    Brad_B, wood_slab and Capybara like this.
  8. I also have this same problem. I regret for my entire life for acting like an a..h... Infront of them, when they really need intimacy and now i am glad later because i find a name for it , perfmnce anxty.
    Ok now i will explainto you what is this
    All all our needs are being fulfilled by faping, so we don't need a women or sex in sub conscious level. so this pfmce anxty is actually a trick from brain to stop us from getting intercourse with a partner because brain think that sex is a threat and fap is normal. There is solution for this mentality and that is reboot. Go for a disciplined 26 weeks reboot and everything will be okay.
     
    imfireup and wood_slab like this.
  9. Jay.Rhone34

    Jay.Rhone34 Fapstronaut

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    26 WEEKS ?!?!? Sheesh I’m on week 1 lol


     
    Brad_B and wood_slab like this.
  10. wood_slab

    wood_slab New Fapstronaut

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    @Jay.Rhone34 Thanks for sharing bro! I'm facing the same situation but it was the first time I was going to have sex with my partner. I was hard like a wood slab but when I was putting my condom on, I started having negative thoughts (will it stay hard, how long will I last, etc) and suddenly the fella died and it was impossible to bring it back to life. So frustrating. :'(

    I was close to 30 days on hard mode, but I let her masturbate me minutes earlier... I don't think it's related, but who knows.
     
    Brad_B, Jay.Rhone34 and imfireup like this.
  11. Jay.Rhone34

    Jay.Rhone34 Fapstronaut

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    I’m no doctor but to have someone jerk me off before actual penetration may have my penis become not so strong, I feel it’ll also mess with my hand , wondering if I should have saved it . Just breathe man, have you ever thought of music during intercourse, it helps a little


     

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