Eating sushi tonight

Been relapsing hard . It sucks it really does . I’m looking for more ways to improve myself . It sucks when you have no hobbies. It’s hard to enjoy anything knowing how fucked up you are. My brother invited me to go eat sushi tonight with him and his girlfriend . I am leaving in about 30 minutes . I am excited and am hoping this will get the thoughts out of my head for awhile . I have posted here often about the sex worker I fell in love with . She took down her profile on the escort site . I am very sad cause I really liked her . I know once I can get some clean time under my belt the thoughts of her will fade . I guess this is what they want you to do . Fall in love with them , then one day they aren’t in your life anymore . I’m really fucked up. Have PIED, am desensitized and fell in love with a sex worker. I think about her everyday and I hate it. Anxiety is high, depression is high . I hope this outing out with my brother will help me to feel better . God bless and love to all of you .