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Do women enjoy giving blow jobs ?

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by ryukPLYZ, Mar 21, 2022.

  1. janewhite

    janewhite Fapstronaut

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    Most days I don’t love but rather tolerate it because I love the part where my partner enjoys it and to see his face enjoying it. However, there are some horny days when I truly enjoy it and and want to blow “ the shit out of it” because I am so turned on. I am referring to my regular sex partner, my husband. However, i think takes takes some time to build that likeness of the person. I have never had a one night stand but I imagine i would not want to do on the first, third or even 10th date. I have to get used to the partner’s body as a whole because it is so intimate
     
  2. It's interesting - there are some evolutionary studies which suggest that we are more inclined to perform oral on a new partner than with an established one. Of course, many people might not be ready for sexual intimacy on the first, third or tenth date . . but when we do start getting sexually intimate with a new partner - there may be an instinctual drive to perform oral sex . . . as a way of "checking out the goods". Perhaps this might explain why some people find there partners less willing (or at least, less interested) to perform oral sex as the relationship moves beyond the honeymoon phase.
     
  3. happenstance

    happenstance Fapstronaut

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    Please allow me to restate that. Size matters to the extent if it is too large because it could be painful. Our vagina doesn't dilate that much until we go into labor. My information comes from the materials provided to us by our counselor when we went through our program. If I recall correctly, it actually quoted as 100% of the respondents (all females) said that size didn't matter. I don't know how the question was worded or if it was multiple choice or what. But really, size doesn't matter to us unless you're just too large for us which I think it's safe to say is extraordinarily rare. If you take the time to learn the female anatomy, you'd understand why.
     
    goodnice 2.0, koolpal and +TenPercent like this.
  4. happenstance

    happenstance Fapstronaut

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    Let me put it this way. If I don't have enough invested in you emotionally then sex is off the table let alone a blowjob. You have to make me want you if that makes sense. Think about what you have to invest in me to make me want you and then invest that in your partner. She wants to be pursued courted loved and cared for. I just watched the movie Redeeming Love. If you want our undying love and devotion and yes sex too do that. I promise you won't be disappointed.
     
    koolpal and +TenPercent like this.
  5. Lol that's exactly what I was going to say. Some do, some don't. And it also depends on the situation and the experience. I can't really say I do or don't enjoy it, because sometimes I do and sometimes I find it a little bit gross. I'm a bit of a germaphobe, and tbh I often find sex in general to be a little bit icky. Lol which is probably a contributing factor to why I prefer PMOing.
     
  6. Wugazi32

    Wugazi32 Fapstronaut

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    When it comes to sex, I love getting icky! My wife is same as you sometimes - unless she's REALLY horny - I mean, I like:
    eating ass and pussy, and whilst she loves it she does get coy and nervous about it sometimes. Same with blowjobs, she makes me wear a condom when I get one these days.

    Each to their own I guess...
     
  7. Sackedbysapp

    Sackedbysapp Fapstronaut

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    I’ve been married over 20 yrs and have ONLY been with my wife. It’s not somthing she interested in. So I have no clue what I missing or not missing, but how bout a 100 years ago or further back? Is it only popular now because of porn? How did women feel about it in early 1900 or 1800’s?
     
    somuchforsubtlety and koolpal like this.
  8. happenstance

    happenstance Fapstronaut

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    Try thousands of years!
     
    koolpal likes this.
  9. Cirilla

    Cirilla Guest

    Please be mindful that what I wrote may be considered triggering.

    I am 100% bisexual and 99% homoromantic, and I have never been interested by it, actually always been pretty disgusted, except when I was super deep into PMO and the horniness took over, with me wanting to give myself out completely. But I wouldn't expect my partner to perform a cunnilingus on me if I am not ready to give them a blowjob. It's only natural.

    The thought of performing a cunnilingus on someone seems just as unappealing; however, weirdly enough, I am ready to receive it, and the thought of it arouses me. I think I just have a problem with oral in general, but that's pretty much just me, and I suspect it is because I am a complete virgin with a problem with intimacy. Also, and mostly, I am incredibly dominating when it comes to men, and incredibly submissive when it comes to women. So perhaps it's just that putting my mouth there seems to disgust me. Maybe I'll love it once I try it out but I am not so sure. The thought of being submissive with a man just makes me irk.
     
    +TenPercent likes this.
  10. onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

    Most of history is written by men so it's hard to know what women actually thought of it. Like there's no female version of Josephus or Plutarch. But reading between the lines of historical sources some women liked it. Porn didn't invent sex
     
  11. happenstance

    happenstance Fapstronaut

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    Just a thought but have you ever given any consideration to Dr. Weiss' Intimacy Anorexia program? We did it and it was a lot of help for us. Like I said though it was just a thought.
     
    Psalm27:1my light likes this.
  12. Cirilla

    Cirilla Guest

    Thank you! I have never heard of it before, I'm going to give it a look :)
     
  13. I confess- I was definitely triggered by that (not that I wasn’t warned), but I also feel validated by it.

    I’ve probably given oral 100 times more than I’ve received it. Totally happy with that. :)

    Receiving never did much for me - probably because I was so desensitized by daily PMO. :oops:

    My current gf has given it to me once, maybe twice. She’s suggested the idea a few times. And I wouldn’t stop her if she wanted to - but I just don’t think she’s that interested. It’s been a couple of years. This is a common phenomenon, I believe - that most people, men and women, are more inclined to give oral in the early stages of a relationship.

    I give oral quite often, almost always in conjunction with PIV. This I do, if my own accord, to make up for what little stimulation I provide during PIV and to stave off PE
    or to atone for it :(

    I’ve heard of women (and men) who LOVE to give oral, but I imagine it has a lot to do with the power dynamics of the relationship, whether we like to admit that or not.
     
    TGAguy likes this.
  14. Cirilla

    Cirilla Guest

    I'm so sorry, and I have a confession as well - at first I didn't put a trigger warning, but seeing you in the thread and wait it entails, and with the possibility for you to read my post, I decided to put one. So I apologise if that troubled you! That wasn't sincerely not my intention :)

    I agree. I have basically no sexual experience at all, or romantic experience for that matter, and over 10y of PMO of course cannot make up for that, but I think I can still get that intimacy and power dynamics play a huge role. Me being on paper disgusted by oral does not mean that I would do it without hesitation if I loved my partner enough to want to please them if they're into that, if that makes sense. What a mouthful. Sorry for the pun.

    What I'm trying to say is that from what I gathered, please all correct me if I'm wrong, sex is truly good when it comes from a place of mutual trust and understanding, notably through the mutual understanding of each partner's desires (which can vary of course), likes and dislikes (who can also evolve). So to directly answer OP, my 2c is that there could be a distinction between "enjoying to give oral" and "enjoying to give oral to their partner who enjoys receiving it". I think porn can be dangerous in the way it blurs the distinction, which leads to dissatisfaction and imbalance in the power dynamics as we discussed. But you also can sincerely refuse to give oral and be disgusted by it and that is totally fine too. In my humble opinion, as long as you're not refusing to give oral but are asking to receiving it, you're golden.

    It's 2am30 and I think I am reading too much into that!
     
    +TenPercent likes this.
  15. Sackedbysapp

    Sackedbysapp Fapstronaut

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    I know porn didn’t invent sex, but I do feel porn gives someone an idea of how sex should be and sometimes it’s the wrong idea. Not every nurse or maid or ur step mother doing laundry is only interested in sex.and porn can give someone that impression.
     
    koolpal likes this.
  16. happenstance

    happenstance Fapstronaut

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    I hope it is OK to post this. Here's a link if you want to go take a look at it.

    https://intimacyanorexia.com/

    My husband went through the Intimacy Anorexia Workbook and I went through the Married & Alone workbook. It was rather eye opening.
     
    Psalm27:1my light likes this.
  17. onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

    Of course, but oral sex was a thing before porn and from my reading of sources women seemed to have enjoyed it during ancient Greece... Although having said that it all depends on what one defines as porn. Apparently, drawings in caves of people engaged in sex acts have been found which can be traced back to the Paleolithic period. And you also have sexual art from ancient Greece and Rome.
     
    koolpal likes this.
  18. Cirilla

    Cirilla Guest

    Thank you! Can you do this program if you're single and never had a partner?
     
  19. happenstance

    happenstance Fapstronaut

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    Probably. It's really geared more towards a couple but you can still learn about IA regardless I think. Even if you don't do the workbook you can read the book and get a lot out of it if you think you are IA. Did you look over the website? What did you think? We went through it together before our counselor started having IA Workbook sessions.
     
    Psalm27:1my light likes this.
  20. koolpal

    koolpal Fapstronaut

    That’s really interesting to consider the history of pornography.

    I just happened to visit Pompeii, and the tour guide brought us to the remains of an ancient brothel. They had statues and frescoes of “erotic art” (including various oral sexual acts). As Pompeii was a major port with people speaking different languages, customers would point out what service they wanted.

    This takes us to the etymology of the word pornography, being writings or depictions about prostitutes, etc.

    The modern concept of porn extended to a bunch of other things.

    Thanks for adding the historical aspect.
     
    onceaking and +TenPercent like this.

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