female accountability parnet works for me

I had very nice experience for the past year that an online unknown female encouraged me with my work and helped with my addictions EVERY DAY. She allowed me to masturbate after work for max 20 minutes and it worked great for me, I felt great for the past year, after about 10 years of addiction and bad life (im 32). Every man needs a little masturbation, nothing wrong if it's to porn. What is wrong is long masturbation (hours), because that messes up my brain, i get depressed and demotivated for work.

BUT:
I wasn't taking it seriously enough, every week once a week i masturbated for over an hour, she tolerated it, but now she left me suddenly and permanently.

It sucks very much and i feel very depressed, I cant eat, I feel like crying, and what is the worst of all I CANT WORK. a little suicidal.

So is there any female here that can help me? I need someone who I can write reports daily about how long Ive worked and how long i've masturbated. My goal is to work for 8 hours a day and masturbate twice a day for 20 minutes, best if to imagination instead to porn.

I hope i can become friend with this woman because the main reason why i masturbate too much is cos i'm lonely as hell, i need female company.

male accountability partner would never work for me.
but i doubt there are any females here.

such a simple solution to my problem. only 1 nice female willing to help me for a month or so. i could pay her too, it would be best investement.

 

maybe
maybe it was that. but i enjoyed it, got over addiction, felt great, could work, was no longer depressed, was motivated. and she was really pretty and smart too. i guess i was one lucky bastard. i insulted her and she left me, oh how stupid i was. since i dont have any relationships with women in real life i got so attached to her it hurts like hell now.

she didnt wanna be paid, she was just good at heart.

 

Why wasn't I lonely when I talked to this woman every day for the past year? IT was completely different feeling, it affected how i worked, i could concentrate, i pushed even if it was hard, my head was clearer, i cared for what i was doing.

And now that she is gone for a week already that awful feeling of loneliness came back, I can't work, I can't concentrate, i dont care if i finish what i set out to do today or not. It's hell.

My theory is that since i never had a girlfriend or sex (except few times with prostitues) every cell in my body is telling me its time to reproduce and to put all my efforts into achieving that and put off áll my other work.

 

Well that "addiction" was different than porn addiction, because i felt good with myself and i could work. i worked for her. now there is no point.