Social media makes women lazy to go out to find some one to date ?

Perhaps. I would be careful how you follow such lines of enquiry, though. Do not let them lead to excuses, blaming and victimisation. If that's not what you are doing, forgive my misinterpretation—text can be read many ways.

 

Probably the whole world is going in that direction at the moment, doesn't matter the sex or orientation. I quitted online dating because for me was a big trigger. Hopefully all this online-mania will highlight the right girl for me at the right time; one without online dating profile

 

Why would this only apply to women?

 

It's probably more of a matter of why not smile and strike a pose for the sake of the picture and that second when it's taken rather than do anything that involves actual social interaction. The basic issue of so-called 'social' media is it's actually not social, but it is a tool that creates a spectacle. For someone interested in attention they can do it from the convenience of their home and get validation from a large number of Likes and followes which would be limited in an actual physical space if it was a face to face interaction. Poser, in other words.

 

It's also a lot safer to talk to someone online and get to know them a bit before meeting them in person. Not to mention less of a time waste. If you have some things on your mental list of "I would never date someone who _____" then it's a lot easier to go look at their profile online and see if they have any of those red flags, rather than having to chat with them in person and find out that way. It's just so much easier and quicker to find deep information about people. If you're mostly doing the whole small talk thing, you could go out with someone several times and still not know some really important stuff that one glance at their social media profile would tell you.

And safety, of course, is hugely relevant.

This is far from being as simplistic as "women are lazy."

 

It's also a different context for dating sites in particular vs. social media in general, and what the persona intention is for using it. Though rare some people will qualify their search on dating sites as friends only and may participate in the forum on that site vs. just private messaging people whose profile has nice pics. It is possible to just 'meet' people on regular social media without it being your exclusive reason for using the platform, but of course conversation on there tends to be really short comments that doesn't tell you much about people's way of thinking, though sometimes it's simplistic enough especially these days.

 

The tone of "women are lazy" was the thing that concerned me and prompted my original post in this thread.

The way I see it is, people are optimisers of their time and energy. They take the easiest path that they believe will achieve their goals. That's not "laziness", that's efficiency.

It seems like there's an unsaid subtext to the question of 'why do women use online dating instead of going out for "real" dating' that could be a limiting belief.

Is there some issue you have with online dating @nfpexperiment? Do you prefer that women "went out" to find partners? If so, why? I encourage you dig deeper and identify the values you hold which lead to the question in your original post.

 

I totally agree. I also have concerns with the question being framed only at women, when obviously men are also finding people online and going out less as well. That's just going to happen. The internet changes things.

 

Women (even unattractive ones) are typically BOMBARDED with male attention on dating apps and social media, so they don't have to really try as hard. If you look hard enough, you can find men at the top that get this kind of attention from women and those guys don't really have to try either, but men in this position are much rarer.

I don't think this is women's fault, I think it's the fault of desperate thirsty guys.