The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Very good reflexion thanks for sharing

 

Day 2

A lovely calm family day.

Stay strong!!

 

Day 114

The church I work for turned one year old today! Busier services than usual but I managed to get a few hours in the middle of the day to get a workout in and have some time out - really enjoying exercising once again and I pray for the life of me that it actually sticks and I continue with it!

Still attracted to a colleague of mine and don’t want to act on it; it’s not triggering urges which is a positive, but it puts my mind in the lens of ‘looking’ for a partner - nothing problematic but I find it distracting when I’d rather just be myself and get to know people genuinely.

 

Day 434

 

Day 38, slipped today back to 0, made it so close breaking my previous streak of 50+. I'm going to try to stay here everyday and be more consistent to stay uplifted on harder times. In the moment there's always a second where my conscious tells me you can stop right now just walk away, like always right before I start looking at porn and again before I start to fap, it feels hard to act on because of how heavy the impulses hit but that voice is there, and I think to really start breaking the wiring of the addiction I need to be able to walk away despite those impulses in those moments, then as the impulses slowly get weaker it gets easier to resist so it's downhill from there. I just want my mind to realize in the moment that this is enough, in all the years of this habit, you've never really found true satisfaction or fulfillment but instead were left empty and then feeling bad for giving into it and then not finding satisfaction, but then also becoming addicted to the pleasure. How does this mind realize not to pursue pleasure that leaves it unfulfilled and only wanting more and more? I think the deeper problem is of desire of trying to find some fulfillment, and if that could be found there wouldn't be these pursuits of pleasure. Going to be building more discipline into life to become better at resisting impulses and finding meaning so brain runs less to porn but also focusing much more internally on finding what satisfaction the mind seeks and how to find it.

 

Day 46

Long day at work. Feet are sore! Time to relax.

 

Day 14 complete

all good

 

Great analysis. Very helpfull.

 

Just get up and get going. Its a part of the journey.

 

Day 13 today.

 

Day 3 - Orc, The Dark Tower Barad-Dûr

Weekend was good, some temptations but not so heavy and from time to time the occasional brainfog. Spend some time outside in the sun, it was a good weekend.

 

Day 2

Still on guard from the chaser effect.
I hope that I’m going in the right direction. Started using the Panic button again and it just saved me yesterday, I found myself just wasting time and simply closing and reopening the same 3 websites while feeling the urge, and then I got up and went to the gym. Felt great afterwards.

@SSS Vision
Thank you for your tips, the Noticing about the noticing part really made me laugh, but it’s a great trick and I’ll try it out myself. It is happening to me way too much.

@soggs1
39 days is still amazing and life changing. You’re doing great and there is no shame in resetting the counter, the counter is just a tool. Remember where you’ve started and where you are now. Keep up the great work.

 

Day 27

 

Day 11! Still haven't set a time of day for posting updates. Hmm 8 P.M my time should do, no reason to think otherwise, and much reason to remember.

 

Day 427 no PMO.

 

Day 1 clocking in early today so no chaser effect hits.

 

Day 5

 

day 7, in this days the only bad thing i had was a dream about porn. The rest of the days was easy, i think because when i start thinking about porn or a girl i slice that thought fast.

 

day checking in