The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Neither brother. Just whole and healthy at least at this one account. It's like if you are vegetarian you don't eat meat or like if you were made to wear glasses which show you false view of reality but now you have taken them off. For someone who was born in slavery to lust it's an eye opener to have a few breaths of freedom from it to understand what you have been deprived of.

 

Checking in day 168.

 

The enemy is not pmo but the attachment to ignorance about it ,followed by denial of reality-truth and desire to stay in darkness if it feels good and warm there at the moment whilst denying the reality of it turning into a hell oven, only because now its just warm.
I think it is memory, intellect and ability to comprehend that get cooked first even at the low temperatures of indulgence and when this happens we die(in many aspects-career,family,relationships,reputation,health,self-esteem,...) like insects caught in the indulgence of the sweet sensation of the taste and smell of honey spill on the floor.

 

Day 120

Two of my close friends got married today, and it was an incredible day. I was beaming the whole way through the service, and even got a little teary-eyed when the bride walked down the aisle. It was such a blessing to spend the day among friends celebrating the love between two people, I found it so encouraging.

I hope to be married one day, but I know there are still challenges to face before that day comes. For now I must fight the battle we all face, and trust that dawn will rise on the battlefield.

 

Day 3 coming to a close. I did an interval running work out. I have a goal to break 25 minutes in an upcoming 5K. I think I’m just about there physically.

 

Day 16 Complete - Hobbit

First quest item - Sting

 

Day 1 complete. A freshly-minted orc.

Of my last three or four streaks, none have been reached so much as seven days. This is ridiculous. I can do better than this. Haven't been exercising as much due to spending all my free time on wrapping up end-of-semester assignments, but I only have one of those left, so the end is in sight. The more time I can spend running, the better, but I'd also like to get back in the pool again sometime in the next two weeks.

St. Catherine of Siena, pray for us!

 

Day 19 begins

 

Day 440

 

Day 20 complete

had sex after a while. So I think the urges shouls gone fo a while

 

Check in day 215

 

Day 116 went well. Tally ho!

 

I Caved under the same external pressures of old. It all started good, until I managed to stop smoking... and that was all well and fine, as I started working out, eating better, but then It seems that I overcharged with zeal, trying to add initiating talks with women, alone, in a language I barely control while recently unemployed. I was watching my energy and I saw that it is not properly directed. And by that, I mean that I am all over the place, but not to a precise end goal. I think it would be better if I take today, to properly organize my goals and the direction they should point towards.
Day 1!

 

Day 433 no PMO. Good day yesterday with the kids. My daughter had a softball game and did great. My wife is still out of town but it didn’t impact me at all. No urges. All good. Have a great day everyone!

 

Day 4

 

day 21

3 weeks free. I'm very thankful but the urges are raging through me, rising and ebbing. I'm still in Bree, eluding the Nazgûl and avoiding the calling of the One PMO ring.

nothing to report at the moment, I hope you're all doing well. God is with us.

 

I became an Uruk (day 8) - but sadly then I relapsed again. It was no O but PM and so it counts.
I thinkin' about searchin myself a therapist - its hard to find a good one (had some before ) ...
But maybe this would help me to improve further.

Updated my journal and added the "Regular-Sleep-Challenge" , details there.

 

Day 0

Today I’ve watched porn, and after about one hour of edging (and yes, I know that is the absolute worst thing that I can do). I’ve realized that I already know 100% how am I going to feel if I would cum, but I have no idea how I would feel if I would stop. So I did, and I feel great! I know it’s a reset, but I don’t care, it’s still a fun win from my perspective. No brain fog, no shame. Just a solid understanding that it is possible.
I’ve looked at my calendar from April, and I’ve had 21 clean days, and 9 days of watching porn. And that is the best ratio I had so far for 2022 so I am happy. I’m marking this day as a failed day of cours. But I am still hoping that May will be even better, my goal is less than 6 days of porn. I want to say that I am aiming for zero days, but other than feeling even more shame for failing that perfect goal, I am hoping to simply keep on improving even if by little steps.

 

Day 13, im going to stop being an uruk in 2 days!
Im controlling good, i just did a cold shower and feel fresh.

 

Day 6 as an ORC!
Been very busy over the last few days! no time for PMO thoughts