The Lord of the Rings Challenge

day 3 .many more to go...

 

Day 275, getting close to the big 3!

 

Day 0 -again- yes I relapsed and still this time its a progress for me. I'll explain why:
I can extend above chart now and was able to find out that there is another severe reason for me to fap - Seems not to be a big discovery (but for me it is!!): STRESS.

But lets go into detail. I'll write it all as openly as possible.

Yesterday I wrote: "I am right before relapse. Above chart helped me in the right moment."
Then Everything was fine I met a few friends and had a great time ...till my anxiety kicked in rly heavy and from a question of my friend I suddenly realized how stressed I still am (after a couple of relaxations this day)...
this led to an devils circle (paradoxical: I was stressed even more because I realized how stressed I actually are oO) and I got a subtle but secular panic attack.
When I was home again I still was so stressed that I run-down old patterns and relapsed... due to that I was up way too late (PM-edging till 3 am) then no O so I relapsed again today.

NOW to the more interesting part:
I relapsed because of heavy stress and anxiety. My relaxation wasnt enough this day. PMO is a short time STRONG stress reliever. BUT why did I have that much stress this day?
The answer is simple: I worry too much about everything, even my hobbies seem to be work for me lately. I wanna be perfect. I wanna do this challenges perfect, I wanna behave like this or that, I have so much abilities - so I need to do justice for myself lol - I need to work enough to have enough money - I need to write enough to be a good writer - I need to force myself to be with friends to be a social man and a good friend... AND SO ON!
and THAT leads to relapse most of the time for me its HOW I TREAT MYSELF.

While I realized this yesterday it stressed me even more... But Im thankful for this insight anyways.

I DONT HAVE FUN - I do all this challenges because I wanna improve- I am not where I wanna be in life and therefor I wanna do all I do as good as possible... but I FORGET TO LIVE... to have fun again.
That - in fact - does not mean PMO is a good thing. It means if I stress myself to reach 90-500 days I'll never be able to reach that anyways. I need to feel the JOY through that journey.

Adjust above chart:
Before RECOGNISE and after "condemn-yourself-REGRET (which is kinda dumb cuz if you adjudge yourself that alone wont help you to improve) theres another POINT: STRESS LEVEL (from PMO-Challenge itself and life) and this is all about HOW you TREAT YOURSELF. If you rush this challenge and treat yourself like a poor dog, while you stress yourself more and more in life ... it will may lead to a point where you dont need above JUSTIFICATION anymore - you'll relapse straight through. Especially if fapping used to be a stress reliefer for you.



So for me most important will be NOW:
How can I be more happy while my "NoFap-Journey"
and through my habits..
HOW can I reduce my stress-level and increase awareness?
And then ofc do it! I wont quit on challengin' myself at all.
I just need to focus way moooore on my energy behind the things Im doing!! End.


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Dawn of the 50th day. I have now grown my epic beard

 

I'm very much the same way. So much focus on things being perfect. Thankfully I have better awareness of this now. On thing I'm attempting to follow now is to strive for perfection while understanding I'll never get there.

To draw a bit from The Bible. My understanding is our image of perfection is essentially idolatry. Our own self made idols pale in comparison to what really is.

I do this challenge to improve.

Also, my first post in this thread:

"This sounds like fun.

I'M IN!

Even though it's not, I'll call today Day 0."

 

Day 19. Yesterday i did a lot of university work, i started at 8 and ended at 18, was a group work thing. I have a problem with my thoughts, they hurt me a lot sometimes and get me sad and anxious. But i told my friend of this group what i was feeling and i felt better after that. Still, one day more on nofap!

 

I have the same problem, the seek of have everything now. Being perfect. I remember a quote that i heard a lot since i started going to the gym "believe in the process", dont hurry the things up. And this is with the gym, but is the same with nofap, being more socially cool, etc. I hope I have helped you at least a little with this.

 

I think time is the true asset only if you desire something, have a plan for its achievement and you use every single day to bring living your dream out closer. Whilst for somebody in a rut it is of relative value. I knew some people who are in a rut of boring tasks/jobs who keep speaking about 'killing time' and getting to something at least more exciting, especially if it concerns women, social drinking,movies etc.

 

Day 19. Keep going everyone! A lot of inspirational posts here, great seeing everyone progressing

 

Check in day 222

 

End of day 3 without PMO and 25 days without MO. Feeling great...

 

day 27

friend's wedding is in 2 hours so I have to freshen up soon. hope you're all having a good weekend. temptations are there, I almost felt like acting on them last night but barely resisted.

we're still here though. thank God.

 

Day 4 as an ORC

 

It does help to know Im not alone - and "believe in the progress" seems also be a strong useable mantra! Thx a lot man!

 

Checking in day 175.

 

Day 4
My own mind is trying to wool over my eyes, but I know her tricks and now it's up to me what I'm going to do with it
Goodnight fellowship

 

Day 25!

 

Day 7! The tiredness from yesterday tried to get me today, as expected... I let it exist and acknowledged its presence as I continued my day.

 

Day 127

Nothing much to share today, still feeling slightly adrift in life but urges aren’t assaulting me too strongly at the moment.

The gym has become somewhat addictive, but I’m making sure I factor in appropriate rest and proper nutrition.