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Escort challenge

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by need4realchg, Nov 14, 2019.

Are you struggling with paid-sex?

  1. Yes— and I would join the challenge/group

  2. No, but I would like to join too

  3. Yes— but not interested in a challenge or a group

Results are only viewable after voting.
  1. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    Back to day 4, going through a rough break up. It is really tough at the moment
     
    {Ananta} likes this.
  2. Khufu

    Khufu Fapstronaut

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    how are you doing pal, is this a thread others join or is it on you
     
  3. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

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    Well time to make a positive update.
    So i am doing very well. Course I'm a guy i get a little horny here and their, just not like I used to get. Not like ohh i can't stop myself. Occasionally I'll check out some porn but not like a daily thing or weekly. I don't remember last time to be honest. Anyways I got back from a solo vacation. I did a bit of traveling and made some plans. I must say it was probably one of the best times of my life!!!!!!! I hadn't felt so relaxed and at ease in so long. I went to a foreign country and yes i don't usually do that to much so it's a nice little awakening. Anyways it's good to get away, sure i did go into a few strip clubs while on vacation. It was alright but i didn't let it get to far. That stuff probably for us shouldn't really be done as you can lose a bit of money you know and i just didn't lose more then i wanted so. Anyways besides that i was like nope, none of that I'm going to the real clubs. Anyways I had a good time. I also met a chick online and had a blast. Just visited some new places and met some cool people.
    So anyways possibly a tip for some who are struggling with this escort stuff. Try a vacation,.somewhere exotic maybe. Don't go with the intention of "I got to get laid" just go have fun and explore, meet some friends.
    Anyways I hope your doing well,.I'm thankful and blessed and I keep God at the top.
     
    stepitup, ShamirKE and {Ananta} like this.
  4. Khufu

    Khufu Fapstronaut

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    ive been thinking about this for awhile and i wanted to share tips
    1. dont cuddle the escort,
    2.dont open up about yourself ,just share what happened in your day prior or what you plan to do tomorrow,be as silent as you can be,
    3.dont spend too much time , just do the deed and get out of there,
    4. never do the deed at your home, only hotel etc
    it takes a month to start or stop a habit so ,get off the escort habit lightly,
    if your habit its 2-4 times a week cut it down to once every two weeks, got to ween yourself off the habit,(goal is getting off them completely)
    replace this habit afterwards,
    warning she may want to cuddle, she wants you to open up, she wants you to stay
    resist this off politely, act like you have somewhere urgent to go, these are tactics they use, they are manipulating you for the money
     
    Last edited: May 8, 2022
  5. Khufu

    Khufu Fapstronaut

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    relapsed last night after 12 days , not even to porn, just intense sexy thoughts , theres a bright side to it in a sad way, atleast a escort wasn't involved,
     
  6. Came to check on those who have joined in on this and curious to hear if all is well?

    In my world, I feel good about the SA stuff. I have had incredible amounts of challenges, so many it seems unreal to be honest. I need and will start journaling here again. It's good to know NOFAP keeps these threads.
     
    Spontifex, GA93JDeereboy and {Ananta} like this.
  7. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

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    Hey good to see you back. I'm doing alright. Have my ups and downs but alright.
     
    need4realchg, Spontifex and {Ananta} like this.
  8. Fireofdesire

    Fireofdesire Fapstronaut

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    I can relate in a way but never been to an AMP
     
  9. Fireofdesire

    Fireofdesire Fapstronaut

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    This is literally what was going through my head when I did it
     
  10. Fireofdesire

    Fireofdesire Fapstronaut

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    Yes I have experienced this even without a condom. I think rough MO causes this
     
  11. Fireofdesire

    Fireofdesire Fapstronaut

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    Same thing here
     
  12. Fireofdesire

    Fireofdesire Fapstronaut

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    Yea
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  13. There were plenty of consequences I’ve thought about such as being arrested, losing my livelihood, being robbed, being murdered, losing my life to an STD, and even going to Hell. All had been considered and none of them stopped me.

    Why?

    While I can only speak for myself, I would say those consequences never really deterred me because they were in line with the spirit of self-annihilation/self-destruction that was already living in me since the days of my trauma as a child. The idea of losing it all gave me both a rush of excitement and a hope of freedom; At the very least the consequence would be a validation of what I already believed about myself, namely, that I was a worthless piece of unlovable garbage who got what I deserved.

    To tackle this issue I first went to a sex addiction therapist, and while I would recommend this to others I have to note my sessions were done some 10 yrs ago. Sadly, some of the advice of mental health professionals these days doesn’t seem to be steering towards that of the helpful kind, but I digress. Through therapy I was able to process my childhood trauma, namely that of being molested, and I was able to see how that was when I started to hate myself, distrust everyone and everything, and live a life in the spirit of self-annihilation—basically living a life where I no longer had a spirit of self-care/self-preservation (something most people have).

    While I would like to say I was healed after therapy, I wasn’t. Therapy provided me the tools to help me manage, but only to a certain degree. I still had times of acting out and I still fell into times of self-hatred and self-destruction.

    Personally, I would say healing happened as I started actively pursuing a relationship with Jesus and His Church. This wasn’t something I did right away, as I was very hesitant to do it. I would try doctors, secular self-help books, and basically anything in order to avoid being one of these “I found Jesus in recovery” people. Yet, after exhausting those means and contemplating suicide, I was overcome with a sense of sadness one day; It wasn’t a sadness from me but a sadness for me; a sadness that I would rather end my life than put my trust in Jesus. A sadness that I would die having never tried everything to be healed. So I decided I would pray to trust in Him and I slowly but surely started living a relationship with Him by way of the Sacraments and heartfelt prayer; truly there is just so much that has happened that I can’t describe, but I can say that I’m finally experiencing healing.

    In prayer I had asked Him to show me my wounds and to heal them. Since then He’s revealed to me how my escort issue mimicked my abuse:
    • I was taken secluded spot / I would go to a dark hotel room.
    • I was told what to do / I sought encounters where I was told what to do.
    Basically without being too descriptive, I was given the grace to see how I was recreating my trauma; I was also given the grace to see how this was in its own way a form of communion, but of a darker nature, and how every day we all make acts of communion where we either offer-up ourselves to false gods or to Him.

    While all this was happening He was showing me the dignity I have being made in His image and how my neighbor holds the same dignity, and how I’m called to reverence this both in myself and in my neighbor; especially in the ones I mistreat every day such as the porn actress and the prostitute; These souls are cherished and loved by God as well despite the things they do either because they don’t understand this reality, don’t believe in it, or because they doubt it.

    It’s been over five years since I’ve had a sexual encounter with an escort; however, the last time I’ve been to an escort was over a year ago. When I was going through that temptation I kept praying for the grace to turn around, to leave, but I still went and it wasn’t until I got there that my prayer was answered, but in more perfect way. I just sat and talked with the person and was able to see that we had almost exactly the same history, type of upbringing, and trauma. I was able to see that this person was me and I was them, and this really showed me the dehumanizing nature of it all and the purpose behind the two commandments of Jesus.

    I now try to pray with the intention to have a true love for my neighbor, and in doing this I have been given the grace to have a true love and care for myself.
     
  14. Thanks for sharing your story brother!

    It’s been over two weeks since the last time I visited an AMP and, Lord-willing, I want to join your ranks for 5 years of being free from that! My marriage and family depend on it!

    And you know, I’ve had an encounter before, where I saw a prostitute but couldn’t bring myself to have sex with her, but we just talked…about everything. And by the end of it, I had such a broken heart for her. Seeing her truly made in the image of God. I wish that happened sooner to me.

    It’s awesome to hear your testimony of how God gave you grace in that situation and you were able to keep your integrity. So encouraging to hear that!
     
  15. Cody Dinh

    Cody Dinh Fapstronaut

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    I'm heading to 8 days. Please support me, everyone. We'll conquer any obstacle together
     
  16. Stick with it Cody. It’s soulless man. It’s not good long term to have this on your brain.
     

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