The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Dawn of the 67th day.

 

Check in day 239

 

Completed day 90 yesterday, guess I'm a Grey Wizard now. Hopefully a bit more wisdom will follow suit....

 

Day 464

 

And I'm back!

So after my 12 day hiatus I have not achieved the clarity that I thought I would...
Or maybe I have?
I've not felt any better over the last few days... it's still been the usual up and down w.r.t urges.
I've not had any major light-bulb moments or super awesome life affirming reasons for this fight.
All I know is that I feel much better when I'm not tangled up in P, M and the resultant Os.

So I think the best thing for me is to simply stick with this program (nofap), fight through it daily, and just aim to get better at it as I slip and fall my way to a no-PMO life.

Today is Day 0 of no PMO

 

Checking in day 192. Had a proper cold shower today.

 

Hello dear fellowship. After 128 days in hardmode, I fapped this morning in the shower and must restart my quest. The fall didn't come because of the book I finished reading or any external stimulus or urges. It was brought on by a change in my sexual relationship with my wife. We started practicing Karezza in earnest, and during an intimate session two nights ago I was brought to climax by accident and orgasmed inside her. I was debating for a couple of days whether to reset my counter, because unpaid sex with my spouse does not violate the rules of this challenge, but it turned out to be a moot point. My indecisive state of mind led to a momentary lapse in commitment and vision. That resulted in me being unable to overcome the extra strong urge to masturbate that came on today, probably as a result of heightened desire following the recent orgasm. I am trying not to feel shame, though I think some guilt is healthy because I really could and should have remained focused and realized that the sex was a good thing and the PM ring could still be destroyed. As I was edging closer to ejaculation this morning, I justified not stopping by thinking that because I was going to reset anyway, I might as well get one fap in while my counter was low. Poorly rationalized, but it is important for me to be honest with myself about what happened.

The good news is that in confessing my fall to Nazgûl, I have greater clarity about my goals moving forward. I completed a 4-month hard mode reboot, and I truly feel rebooted. My porn streak is unbroken, and I will focus on that, and my Masturbation lapse had no fantasy or objectification in it, I just released stress through an old habit that I am still master of going forward. I've updated my counter to no Porn or Masturbation; I am still going to avoid excessive orgasm and ejaculation and enjoy Karezza with my wife, but if I occasionally do climax with her I will look at this as a positive thing--an occasional deliberate indulgence in a treat rather than a failure. I don't feel that hard mode is necessary for me right now, though I am going to get to 500 days of no masturbation no matter how hard that is or how long it takes me. The new streak begins now. Thank you for your support!

 

10 days lads! We getting there.

 

Day 144

Urges were much easier to deal with today! I was back at work and in the full swing of things, went for a workout and steam session with a friend - we try and meet every couple of months to talk things through with one another.

I must start taking my exercise more seriously. I’m sticking to my routine, but my diet (aside from my planned meals) is somewhat sporadic, and I’m still drinking. When June comes around I’m going to only drink on social occasions, and even on these occasions I will still cut back.

 

0 days >> Nazgûl (You were once a man, a King, now fallen to the power of PMO)



Let's try again because no man can kill me!

 

I think it's awesome if you can kick both P and M, and they both matter to me as well. I hope not to do either anymore.

I'm still an Orc myself. I hope you're doing okay too.

 

Day 292

 

Day 0
I watched 2 hrs of p-subs, But didn't PMO but this is a relapse as I am on hard mode.

 

Another Nazgul rears its ugly head here in the midst of the Fellowship...

Today was going really well, until suddenly it wasn't. I thought I would go far on this streak since it began so cleanly; for a full four days I had absolutely nothing in the way of peeking, fishing, edging, or any sort of stimulation. I stayed truly clean and it was amazing; I reflected just last night on how incredible and novel it felt to not have worried once about my sexual urges for a period of four whole days. It sounds like @newbobido and I made the same mistake; I was using my phone in the bathroom and I had the idea to challenge my porn blocker by seeing if it would catch something. It didn't catch that thing, but even after seeing that pornographic material for a few minutes, I didn't fall right away. I put it out of my head and went about my day, trying to distract myself with chores. When I gave in to MO about an hour later, the porn wasn't actually in my head anymore; instead I was fantasizing about a woman I used to know. That's probably worse, honestly. Going through an "extended fall" like this is pretty common for me: I'm good at interrupting the original lapse and getting myself back on track from that, but I put myself in an extremely heightened and triggered mindset, so that I always end up falling seriously later in the day.

I have so many reasons to quit but none of them are strong enough to get me to do it. @LuckyMan You mentioned getting back to basics; I think that's what I need, even though I'm not sure I've ever advanced beyond the basics in the first place. What are you working on; do you have any tips?

Our Lady of Lourdes, pray for us!

 

Day 36, yesterday i only studied. I didnt workout cause it was monday, and monday sucks (?, and because i went to the gym on Saturday.

 

Day 16

Yesterday night , I saw wet dream and It caused to night fall.
I am on the Hard mode.
Does nightfall cause to relasape?

 

Day 44 complete

Today I will be working from home, please mention me in your prayers. I already had thought that I could watch some porn easily, but I am not lingering on these thoughts. I slept poorly tonight, my sore throat was not letting me. I wonder if the sore throat is from an infection or if it's related to my digestion, last time it was alergies.

 

It means you're making progress .
,,Wet dreams are natural and the body need to discard unwanted semen and sperm. So, it is natural to cum when you are asleep."
I started having wet dreams after about two weeks. Relapse is when we start doing something deliberately.