Porn Hoarding Pattern Help

I didn't horde. But just literally block your access to the sites until your fingers go numb, every loop hole you find, even if you relapse, plug it and keep chugging.

 

Interesting story. I don't quite grasp the concept of needing the "best quality" of the same videos, and even spending extra money to do this. It's an added addiction for you, it seems. That's a new level I haven't heard of before. Aside from this, what I do know is that you'll never be serious about quitting porn and will never successfully do so until at minimum you delete/destroy all your porn stashes, electronic or DVD or anything else you store as porn, and unsubscribe from every pay site. And, if you cannot do this, you will need to consider that you'll always be a slave to pornography addiction with all the damage that it brings. Life and death are a crossroad ahead of you. Yet, you can choose life. Best wishes!

 

I was in my early teens when I began watching porn. So there wasn't a way for me to pay for any of it. I have a peculiar taste in women, less of a chance it would be reuploaded, or a star will have dozens or hundreds of scenes, what chance that some of the lesser known scenes will be reuploaded?

Now i'm in the mindset of "when i'm old and even more lonely, it'll be great to have a stash of sd cards". That level of thinking has been going on for a few years now. What's sad is that it's the lonelyness that always sends me back over the edge. Such as noticing a particularly pretty, clothed woman, or watching a romance movie.

Right now i'm trying to develope other interests that will get me out of the house, like piano lessons, or walking in the park and writing about stuff. If I didn't live with a roommate, I think I wouldn't have internet. With the hoarding, I feel that i'm on the verge of playing pirate, bury my sd cards somewhere, perhaps locked in a chest at the bottom of the ocean, and never look back. If I ever even looked. Can't think of the last time that I actually watched any of the scenes in full

 

I can relate to this. I have hoarded a large stash.
There are different types of hoarders. Mostly genre type hoarders.
My hoarding habit was different or at least i have only read one other person on reddit who had.the exact same habit of collecting fav girls/pornstar. If i found a new girl of my taste. I needed to have all her videos. And i did the same thing of choosing 1080p over 480p especially if it's my most fav pornstar or scene.
But i never paid, as piracy is not banned in my country. I was always surfing torrents to find new girls or scenes.
I had a long list of pornstars. I had collected movies that i watched for the first time and other ones which i watched in my early porn watching days as nostalgia i guess.

More than PMO, this hoarding habit was the biggest problem for me. I sturggled when i quit pmo. But i am free of this habit now.

I guess it's sort of ocd kickin in. And some ppl have the ha it of collecting things. And that gets chnneled into this habit.

I have replaced porn hoarding with. Collecting books by reading them or other healthy stuff that doesn't harm me anymore. I guess that's one way to deal with this problem.

BUT,

 

Oh dear.. that's a bad combo. I had this problem as well. I was suffering from a mixture of porn addiction and a hoarding ocd or whatever it is called. So, I tend to save and archive a lot of stuff, even things that I don't ever need in my life at all. With my porn addiction however this became problematic as well as this was something that I regurlarly used back then.

Honestly? Pull the plug. Get rid of every pornographic material that you have on your PC and always try to remind yourself why you even need in the first place. In case you have this hoarding OCD as well, ask yourself: "Do I really need this? Will I ever use it at all in my life? Is it necessary to store this much of X on my PC?" etc. I know it's hard, especially with a hoarding OCD it's even worse because you're "collecting" things not only out of porn addiction but also because it holds a precious value to you that doesn't even exist. I had these problems with porn, old screws, old wood planks, etc. It was crazy. I can't fathom my mind to this day how I was actually able to cling to all that stuff lol. Like when did I ever need that rusted screws.

 

I can relate. I had to watch in best hd 720 at least and the scenes at to be full length without obvious cuts or edits. It ruined whatever fantasy i had by making it look more fake with the jump cuts or fade outs before the climaxing

 

I can relate to almost everything you said. I am trying to quit for over six years too. I also collected huge amounts of porn, always trying to find the best quality of any video. It became so bad, that I easily collected more porn than I was actually watching (and I watched a fair amount). The collection part was a huge driver of my addiction behavior. My main motivator to download porn was the fear of "losing the best stuff", i.e. still having access after they get deleted. What started out as a small little folder with just a few rare videos quickly grew to entire drives filled with porn. The thing is, I didn't even really watch much of it anyways. I guess the collecting became almost the bigger problem.

I tried deleting my collection two times in the past and both times, only two or three day after deleting, I regretted it so incredibly bad and made an effort to recover as much as I could. Both times, it also sent me into a crazy porn binge, so that I re-collected as much as I possibly could. My collections grew in size even more after each attempt. Because apparantly I am not at a point yet, where I can just let go and never look back, I decided I would do something different this time: Instead of deleting my porn collection, I transfered it to an external SSD. I encrypted my drive with VeraCrypt, gave it a random password, stored that password in a Pluckeye Lockbox with a long delay and put that SSD in a drawer. That kinda helps, because I know it's still there "just in case", but I don't really have access unless I wait days for my Pluckeye lockbox to open. Obviously, it would be better if I would just get rid off my collection, but I guess I am too afraid. I tried that before and I almost broke down (I know how pathetic that sounds). Also, I am afraid of the crazy binge, which is most likely to follow a third attempt of deleting everything.

Other than that, I find it very helpful to have a carefully organized blocking structure in place; simply downloading the next best blocker software won't do the trick most likely. Although it doesn't represent my currently active systems in its entirety anymore (i.e. needs an update), I wrote down my way of blocking porn effectively in this thread. Other than that I always like to point people towards this excellent thread on blockers, which contains a lot of helpful information as well.

 

Interestingly, there is a known expert at Addiction, that was addicted to hoarding Music discs. not Porn.

 

I know this sounds bad but it was great to read your post. Finally someone with a similar problem to me! I have been into porn for the last 20 years and my increasing desire for higher quality videos of specific girls doing very specific things has caused me to spend literally thousands over the last 3-4 years. Having a huge 4K TV means low quality videos no longer suffice.

Part of the problem I find is the quality of the videos are only getting better and the girls know exactly what we want to see unlike porn scenes where there might be 2 minutes of the girl in your favorite position. My collection despite being vast is very specific to my tastes.

I spend hours upon hours searching for the best content I can find and will get it even if it means paying. I willl try to find it for free and if not will buy it then might see it posted somewhere for free within the next year or so but keep doing it anyway telling myself I'm supporting these girls as someone has to.

I am still very much in the deep end and can barely go a day without fapping. Spent another 60 dollars last night on premium clips of cam models. Always feel bad for wasting money on it but can't seem to stop myself. It's a good thing I have a well paid job but the regret is still unbearable.

I have no advice on quitting as I have not yet attempted it myself, just letting you know you are not alone there's others like me just as bad if not worse. I find too many here seem like casual generic porn users so it's refreshing to see a post like yours. Send me a pm if you wanna chat I usually log in during post nut clarity lol

 

I can relate to the highest Quality videos, id even edit videos together if they had been uploaded in separate parts. My porn addiction got so bad id see intense hardcore X images whenever i saw an attractive woman or or even just talking to someone. Thankfully it has seriously reduced but they're still there, you are always one step away remember that.
I went full cold turkey, no P then no M,
If you cant delete all your P videos ask yourself why? Do the videos give you a fix, a need to feel good? If so you need to look at positive things you enjoy doing you may have forgotten. Mine is model making and recently Metal detecting and magnet fishing. I get more thrills from finding a 2p or a marble nowadays and id rather be like this now.
Hope thats been some help friend

 

I did this at first. In the early days of internet porn there were huge deviations in quality, some videos were so bad you could barely tell what was going on. Then you'd find the same scene in 480p (This was called "High Quality" in the early - mid 2000's) and it would be a completely different experience. By hunting for it, you got an extra reward.

Once 1080p became the norm, I stopped caring, I was using a cheap monitor anyway so I wouldn't really be able to tell the difference.

So I'm thinking you wired yourself with this behavior early on. You're still running the algorithm from when you were 13 and you always assume that there is always a way better version of that video out there somewhere, and that better version will make you happy.

I deleted my collection (it was almost 2 TB) and nuked the hard drives so it was unrecoverable. I then got rid of the hard drives completely and switched to a modest sized SSD.

I set up a variety of filters and parental controls to block access to anything remotely sexual on all of my devices. My phone doesn't even have a web browser anymore, or access to the app store.

Saved the passwords for everything on lockbox.pluckeye.net so I can't easily turn off the filters.

Still working on quitting.

 

2TB ? OMG

Why do you hoard it in your hard drive ? it's gonna stay in the internet anyway, so why bother ?

 

...until it doesn't. I can't speak for everyone obviously, but that was in fact my main motive to download huge amounts of porn.

 

Not really.

A good chunk of my collection was from before modern streaming sites existed. Porn companies at that time were fairly aggressive in taking down movies from file sharing sites to curb piracy. Part of the motivation was to download it before it disappeared.

 

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But at the end of the day, there is SO MUCH high quality content in the internet... like infinite amount.

Is the Porn you are hoarding are more specified or rare to find ?

 

It was both for me. It was a mixture of really rare stuff, very exciting stuff (in my eyes) and also just high-quality versions of widely available videos.

 

I was doing this before pornhub and sites like that existed.

When I started, the only way to watch a full movie was to download it. And you had to do a lot of searching to find a decent source.

Even when streaming sites first came on the scene, their quality was usually extremely poor so there was still a lot of incentive to download.