Took 2.5 years to reboot the receptors of an heavy addict . Will sex harm my recovery

I’m interested to read responses also. I have only had a few no PMO streaks over 30 days and each time, sex and the chaser effect has resulted in relapse. I need longer to heal so I’m hoping I can achieve 120 days this time. I personally feel I need minimum 120 days of no O to heal, maybe longer.

 

Depends on why you have sex. If its for the same reason as you used to pmo, then the recovery is lost because it greases the old pathways again.

If on the other hand you can enter a relationship based on love and not lust/ gratification of the senses and sex is used as an expression of that love instead of a stress-releaver or a way to deal with hardships of life, then i believe its good. Because you will create a new pathway association of sex/ orgasm with love instead of a quick fix for your issues.

But beware... The mind is good at tricking you. I thought i was healed and was using sex as an expression of love.. but i wasnt... Then when the relationship suffers and you have less sex, you turn to pmo again and everything goes back to how it was before.

 

No, sex and pmo are like opposite faces of a coin. Sex is the act every homo sapiens ever lived in this planet had done in there lives. So i don't think it will cause you any damage like PMO.

 

I’ve heard sex doesn’t matter from a few success stories on this forum. That it helps the brain come back to normal, but I understand where you are coming from. I’ve been addicted and my manhood is de sensitized from the grip syndrome of the hand. So I get where you are coming from. Otherwise congrats fighting for 2.5 years.

 

Just beware that getting sexual is highly addictive behaviour and treat it with respect.
Me personally as a hard addict I'm choosing a longterm abstinence from all sexual behaviour but when I decide to get sexual again one day, I will use everything I have learnt so far, meaning sex is supposed to be something special, the peak of intimacy between two people in love, a spiritual experience and that can happen only when your values are alligned with your actions and desires. It is called making love for a reason.
Also I probably wouldn't want to have sex every day or even every week.
When I look at my friends who are in relationships, I know that they have sex all the time and to me they look kind of drained of energy. When does sex become as mundane as brushing teeth?

 

How different it will be will depend only on how you will approach it. Sex is supposed to be pleasurable and there is nothing toxic about enjoying it.
Different people can get addicted to different things - to sex, to porn and masturbation, to smoking, drinking alcohol, icecream, relationships or nofap. The question is who you are when you indulge in anything?
Do you drink because you are happy or do you drink to be happy? Do you make love because you want to satiate your lust or because you want to express your love? Are you man or are you beast?

 

Wow, very true.

That’s an excellent way of putting it Kieran. Sex should be an expression of love, not a way to satisfie ones sexual desires. It could be, but it could very quickly become, as you put it, as mundane as brushing teeth. And then you couldn’t express love with sex, as it’s nothing special anymore, just a tool for pleasure.

 

I met my current woman on day 78 of my nofap journey. The last 12 days were hard to say the least, but I explained the whole situation to her regarding what I was doing and why, she didn't fully comprehend at first but agreed to wait until day 90 anyway.

I still have days where I lose my erection during sex, but for the most part it's amazing being able to have sex again. I still don't watch porn or masturbate unless I'm with her and can safely say sex is actually part of the healing process.

I have been seeing a sexologist / psychologist to get these limiting beliefs out of my head and try to focus on being present and in the moment while in bed which had helped so much.

I certainly think sex is part of the healing process. And if you're lucky enough like I am, to find that someone special who is fully on board with the healing process makes it all more worthwhile.

 

Same happened to me..but the girl dumped me instead. I was at day 55..right before the pandemic. She couldn't understand how nothing happend after date number 5...when I explained it to her, she couldn't comprehend it, she thought it was weird and I was in a cult or something religious..
The girl was great...It put me in a sad state, I ended up relapsing.

 

If you did not had sex for the last 2.5 years ago. Not only you can but you have to find a girlfriend and have fun . But you have to be careful to not get addicted to sex even if your partner wanted more and more sex. You have to take it under control. At least after a little bit into the relationship. BTW choose wisely, and remember there is always someone out there that you will be happy with her for the rest of your life.

 

I can tell you from my own experience of my previous (and best) streaks, that; your perception will change during your NF journey. The way you look at things will be from a completely different angle.

The way you percieve / experience images of; for example womens faces won't be sexual, or as sexual as before. You will reach a different state of mind where you look at things differently. Take this literally or non literally if you want but; when you consume P, your mind experience life at the lower chakras. But I and many other doing NF experience a higher level of awareness that travels up to the heart chakra and from there life is very, very different.

You no longer feel that heavy pounding activity in your lower body parts, but instead you feel a vibrant, lighter energy radiating from the chest area.
When I'm at that higher state of mind, I usually happens around day 40-60 something, I don't perceive sexy women as sexual objects anymore but rather as sisters/relatives from other mothers. Sisters with a good and healthy body.

The quickest way to get there (for me) is to everyday visualise and feel pure, because that itself is purifying for me. To feel that I've left that dirty stuff, and that I'm going to stay pure for now.

The more you stay away from images, and the more you practice self control, the more pure you will feel.
That has worked for me, but we need to give it time for it to work. But it does. It's all about perception.

From perception comes behaviour, and when we change our perception; all behaviours must change. When we do PMO we are stuck in a very limited world in a bubble filled with false beliefs that only feeds the addiciton.
When we step out of that lower level of awareness, we then can see what we couldn't see before. Our eyes are then open.

We need to clean our brains. I don't like the words "brain washing" because it has a negative association or "ring" to it.
I prefer brain cleaning.
We need to purify / clean our brains from the false beliefs or perceptions that has lead us back to watch P. We need to repeat this everyday so that this becomes our new normal. Otherwise we will forget it.

I'm still working on this myself. We have to remind ourselves of what we already know because every slip or relapse makes the mind too dull and blind to see the truth. It creates brain fog and it makes it difficult to focus on your goals.

 

Sisters with good and healthy body!? Really dude !!!!!!!!!