What problems did you have in childhood that you believe contributed to your porn addiction?

I experienced sexual abuse and severe bullying as a kid. I had a lot of social deficits because of it. I basically used porn as a means of emotionally numbing myself and feeling some sort of pleasure/connection through fantasy.

 

When I was younger I was put in stressful situations a lot of the time. Once when a friend explained what masturbation was I started using it as a means to feeling better about myself when I became stressed. Being an adult now, and having a full time job which comes with its own stressors makes it incredibly difficult to break free. If I could go back, I would have been more focused on my studies, then getting into trouble; which has had long lasting affects in my life. A good friend here a long time ago told me to, meditate on your thoughts, and focus on the pace of your thoughts. I would love to be no longer attached to this vice.

 

I freely admit to being a product of neglect- left to my own devices, my curiosity was hijacked by things it shouldn't have been. Didn't help that I was in constant physical pain. But a pity party's not what we're here for. I've dug my way out, and now it's time to reach the apex.

 

Complex PTSD from being raised by a mother with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

 

I think my strict religious upbringing played a part. Growing up we didn't have a TV and I wasn't allowed to listen to music (except classical). My Mum was always going around quoting scriptures and she made out all non-Christians were evil. So growing I felt scared of people and out of place. Also being mixed race in a mainly white neighbourhood made me feel even more out of place. Being mixed race I felt like I didn't belong among white people or Asian people. There was also the negative attitude my parents had towards sex. They made out it was one of the evilest things anyone could do and I wasn't allowed to have a girlfriend. So since I couldn't have a girlfriend I turned to porn.

 

1. The neighborhood girl (who was also my friend) and I "played doctor"; exploring each other's private parts. That's natural and innocent, but I believe it influenced further fetishes. Not anything child related, I must add.

2. I think that my mother had these women's magazines lying around the house (with women wearing underwear, talking about MO, etc) contributed to my early sexual conditioning - I later developed a related fetish.

2. A religious upbringing that made me see MO as a terrible sin.

3. Not knowing how to talk to girls. Their social cruelties did not help. This got worse due to shame/guilt over PMO-ing in my teens. Also, I had gotten my first PC and a schoolmate gave me a floppy disk and told me to "check out what's in it". I did not expect P and it was shocking. Yet sinisterly arousing. Slippery slope from then on.

4. My father wasn't deeply involved in raising me psychologically and emotionally. I had no masculine guidance. He himself was busy chasing women (outside of materially providing and contributing to my mom's disappointment in him). Whenever he'd come home in one of his moods, I'd close my door, depressed, and turn to PMO. He himself had P material hidden around the house. That was something I chose to mentally suppress.

4. I did have a great girlfriend in my very late teens/very early 20's. A lovely relationship. And even still, though we had S and were quite active, I PMO'ed. I also shouldn't have had S (it was her idea and I was a pushover), because that exacerbated the problem. I was physically aggressive with the two good girls I met after that. However, they nevertheless think I am a good guy, so I suppose they sort of think that's how young guys are. I am humbled by their grace.

 

Seems like a lot of religious shame early in childhood can have a detrimental effect. I was raised Christian, but my mother was very New Agey and didn't shame too much. My stepdad never talked about sex until we were adults, and then it was just sexual jokes. I'm very fortunate for that.

 

ADHD , high testosterone, dysfunctional family

ADHD and hight testosterone definitely.

Dysfunctional family possibly

 

Very similar story here, other than I was married by mid-20's. Reading a good book that addresses a lot of this stuff by Eddie Capparucci, Going Deeper: Understanding How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction and another one, Why Men Struggle To Love: Overcoming Relational Blind Spots, which is also good and deals with similar issues.

 

I don't know why i am so much obsessed about doing this masturbation. My life is destroyed by this act. I have been doing this for 20 years. Even i started this before adolscense is a thing unbelieveble. Upto now what i see daily is pain each and everyday , i am not lying to you all , i had seen enough upto now.

When i am a kid , one day i saw two kids playing naked and that act just made me do prone masturbation thinking about it. I had done this prone fap again and again thinking about that thing i saw. Still i had no idea , who told me to do that or if i stimulate my sex organs i would get pleasure , i don't know , as a kid how i figure that all myself ! .

Then porn came in 2009 and i started watching it and then high speed , low cost internet came in 2015 ( my country ) and there onwards i am watching porn more and more. Everyday my condition become worse and worse. Now i have no idea where i am now. My soul is crying in pain , which only i can hear and outside everyone can see my normal face. I don't know to end thie life , but i really love suicide.

My family really sucks , both of parents have many mental disorders which they give to me also. I don' t know where i am going with my life . I have hope or not idk. I am just going with the flow. ( btw i am on day 15 today ) .

 

As a kid I was left alone alot sometimes up to 8 hours ... Both parents at work my brothers and sisters were in school ... To feel any type of attention I started using my imagination to befriend fictional characters .... From cartoons I watched previously.... I got really good at it that I didn't feel the need for any physical real life attention ..... Years later of doing this ... I somehow someway stumbled on porn at age 11 or 10 ... I think .... And it all just went downhill from there ... The saddest part for me was ... For up to 2 years .. because I didn't talk much, always in my head ... I didn't know it was a bad and destructive habit ... It really got into my system .... Anyways I know what it is now and am definitely going to stop because I am not giving up

 

I grew up in a home full of perversion, substance abuse, violence, hatred, verbal and emotional abuse and neglect.

I used P to escape reality and became highly perverted and a abusive addict Who if it wasn't for the grace and mercy of God would be dead.

 

Used pornography to cope. Had a neglectful asshole step-father. Suffered severe loneliness and depression. I used porn to cope. I kept using this method in my adulthood.

 

Being molested by my step-mother as a child; the physical pleasure I got from that made me feel ashamed and disgusted with myself. I also blamed myself for the abuse and accused myself of betraying my own father, which lead to more self-hatred. That abuse and pain manifested itself in touching my younger cousins, which also caused me self-hatred. Then I was primarily raised by my mother, who also hated herself and was an addict. Her primary advice to me was to hide who I was in order for other parents to not view her as a failure. This self-hatred then lead to my destructive behavior in school and eventually when I found porn, I just lost myself in that because I didn't think I was worth being loved.

 

I think one factor is a creepy bus driver I had for like a year or a half around 9-10. He would keep me behind after the other kids got off, make sexual comments, touch my body through clothes, hold my hand, etc. I know it's not really being molested or abused but I think it screwed me up. I went my whole teens not letting anyone touch me, not even my family or friends.

Not sure if it really counts as childhood anymore but when i got to 19ish, Ihad my first proper sexual experience. I was experimenting with dating guys to see if I was gay and there was this one guy I liked a lot. I got pretty drunk at his place and it felt like he pressured me into anal sex. I don't think I really said 'no' explicitly so I can't really say I was raped/assaulted. But it really sucked. I was bleeding and stuff and afterwards he didn't let me stay the night. It was 3am and raining and I had to walk all the way home and I just felt like I never wanted to have sex again. I think it was pretty soon after that that I started to get really into sexting and porn as a substitute for sex and intimacy.

 

• Bullying in early childhood*
• Weak body and rejected by friends*
• I have received highest mark in my class nevertheless in the highschool
• I was respected by girls and female classmates

* These are not something for which I am addicted.

Why do I watch Porn ?

• Self pleasure
• I was unable to get female friends in colleges. I started to watch P and that becomes a vicious cycle.

 

Having sex at 6 with a girl that was 5. She taught me, probably she learnt from her older brother. It wasnt once or twice, it was almost everyday for like 1 year. Then i found magazines, then video tapes, i still remember those mf tapes even if i havent seen them for 20 years, then porn at 14, never really felt love for anybody or feel i need somebody around me, so i was mostly a lover for the girls and thats that.

 

Young age sex will probably destroy the world.
According to some indian scripture if girls would start sex with any boy from their side , this is the way to destruction

------ Shrimad Bhagvad Geeta


Word by word meaning :
adharma—irreligion; abhibhavāt—preponderance; kṛiṣhṇa—Shree Krishna; praduṣhyanti—become immoral; kula-striyaḥ—women of the family; strīṣhu—of women; duṣhṭāsu—immorality; vārṣhṇeya—descendant of Vrishni; jāyate—are born; varṇa-saṅkaraḥ—unwanted progeny


Meaning :
Women occupied a very high status in Vedic society. For families to be religious, and societies to be moral, it is necessary that their women be virtuous. According to the Manu Smṛiti: yatra nāryas tu pūjyante ramante tatra devatāḥ (3.56) “Societies where women are worshiped, for they are chaste and virtuous, the celestial gods are joyous.”

Arjun became concerned and started comprehending, “What would happen to the society in the absence of guidance and protection of elders? The women of the family may get misled.” Therefore, Arjun said to Shree Krishna that if the women of the family turn towards immorality, and commit adultery, they would bear illegitimate children. This would not only destroy peace and happiness of the future generations but also deprive the ancestors of their Vedic rites. Family traditions will be abandoned and the welfare of society will be at stake.

I am not telling from the point of view of any religion. Indian scriptures have scientific views, evidences.

Moreover Women have more control over their sex power i.e 8 times more control than a normal man. But there is a catch, if they are sexually abused , the power becomes 1/8 th of the controlling power of normal men. They have more tendency and they will want to have sex more and more than a man wants.

Do you know about multiple orgasms of women ?
This multiple orgasm ability indicates their sex power.

 

I have a good joke: What happens when you give a male child a revolutionary piece of technology that is primarily utilized for humanity's base desires? I'll tell you: failure.
To elaborate, my grandad had Jet magazines (if you couldn't tell already I am a Sub-Saharan individual) and I would skip all the pages to find the centerfolds. My mom also told me recently I didn't speak until I was 3. so communication has always been an uphill goddamn battle. I experienced negative reinforcement from my peers throughout my youth, so I always thought something was wrong with other people. But like most people, I had feelings and crap like that, so I would use porn as an outlet for my sexual frustration. By the time I entered the 9th grade, It was already a habit. I thought shit would change, but I didn't have a car, and if you want to go on a date or have any sense of freedom, you kind of need one. Flash forward to now, it's just a shit habit I keep under wraps.
If I was born in a different century I'd be a farmer or barbarian it wouldn't have to do NoFap, but here I am.