Back again

Hi,
about 4 months ago i made a post about having a serious breakdown, i'm doing better now, i was in a bad spot, very bad, i'm still digging my way out.
I started thinking about doing nofap again because i'm looking for a good way to improve self confidence and self awareness.
I've been noticing myself stumbling my words often, and mumbling, it's due to stress, pressure, and it feels lame, i hate it, it happens often, i want to become self confident, not to care what others think, stop overthinking, and starting to dare more, enjoying the little moments in life.
I am currently stuck in my head most of the time, overthinking and reminiscing.
I had a 104 day streak of nofap about half a year ago, i remember good days and bad days, i remember i had trouble sleeping due to pent up energy, even to this day, not doing nofap as of now i feel very spring-like and energetic, yet tired all the time, it's very weird.
i remember at the peak of my streak i was less tired than usual.
im always tired, and can't sleep enough, i don't understand why, falling asleep can take me as little as 20 minutes and as much as 1-1.5 hours, and thats when i'm tired!
I guess it's because my mind is an autobahn of thoughts .
my masturbating habits these are days are fairly moderate, i don't watch porn anymore, it's been at least 4-5 months since i have, not not feeling real urges to watch it, i'm making due with photos, i do it once every 2-4 days on average, and stopped beating myself after relapsing, the beating up causes more harm than the relapse itself...
the thing that makes me hesitate coming back to nofap is remembering the constant daily struggle, the high energy that never seem to go away, the trouble falling asleep, and the last couple of week of my streak, peaking at day 104, yet still not feeling the crazy superpowers everyone is talking about, sharing in their success stories.
Clearly, the most important thing to me right now is improving my mentality and being more positive, outgoing, and productive, but a big drive of me is success with women, i'm 23 years old and never had any sexual experience, not even a kiss, and i want to enjoy it, try out, getting it out of my system, even if sex is overrated, not having it by the age of 23 is starting to make you think about when will it happen, still, first importance is my mentality and happiness

 

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I feel like every time i relapse, the upcoming days are more tired and grumpier, i don't know if it's actually because masturbating causes this, or might it be because i have mentally antagonized masturbating