I accidentally came

I promise you, not everything is gone. If you slip, you get back up right? You don't go all the way back to the start of your journey. Same with NoFap.

 

The fact that you edged makes this a complete loss. You did MO.

 

Guard your thoughts. I use some social media and I don't see any porn on it.
I've completely rejected pornography and I resolutely monitor my thoughts. Where the mind goes, the body follows. If you get an erotic thought, you have to stop it immediately and replace it with a thought that's unrelated.

Don't throw in the towel in despair, though. Stop the decline now and take the high path.

 

Key words here: "this one mistake."

You had a slip-up. Congratulations, you are only human. So what have you identified that led you to this? I can already see it.

"On social media, you can't escape every source of porn."

One of the biggest points of a Reboot is to avoid activation of the neural pathways that feed the P-addiction. You'll find it to be extremely common here that social media often causes more problems than it should. You really need to monitor what it is you're doing and what you're viewing, because I can tell you straight up - there are ways to avoid P-stimulation, even on social media, if you know how to do it. At first, I unfollowed anyone and everyone I didn't actually personally know or speak to. I kept in touch with one community (that never posted anything remotely sexual), and everything else was just a hit of that oh-so-good social media dopamine that honestly, I've been way better without. If social media contains these triggers, you may want to think twice about your usage of it. Now some people will tell you to get rid of it altogether. You might feel it's necessary, or you might have concrete reasons for keeping it. (IE: You use it for business.) But that doesn't mean you can't tailor it to work for you in better ways. Adblockers, unfollowing accounts, etc. are all methods you can decrease the amount of questionable content you may see. I'm not going to twist your arm on any of this - but if you're going to keep moving forward, truly consider the risks you'll be taking in trying to maintain the status quo. Those 'max 10 minutes' might've had a more critical snowballing effect than you'd think. Our brain is tricky, it knows us and it knows how to get the dopamine it wants. The best strategy is not even presenting it that ammunition in the first place.

Moving on - you have a gf! Part of the rewiring process is teaching your brain to be attracted to a very real, very physical human being with intimacy. So, my humble opinion? Enjoy your relationship. It's far better than P, and it beats your hand. No pun intended.

Now the real question here is "Did I lose everything?" No. You had a slip-up. These things happen. You're not back to square one again. Make it work in your favor; learn from this experience. Learn what caused you to go forward with the act, how to avoid it in the future, and most importantly - do not shame yourself. This will literally increase the chances of this snowballing into something worse by roughly 70%. Forgive yourself. You don't need anyone on here's approval for your goals, and your health. So do yourself a favor, show some forgiveness and kindness, and put the effort in to make sure this doesn't occur again. You didn't throw everything you've learned into the dumpster, you haven't forgotten how good you've felt, and contrary to popular belief, you're not going to spontaneously combust because you err'd on the path to recovery. The vital part here is ensuring this doesn't turn into something worse and a longer binge. That is when you start to really undo the progress.

According to what's been documented - the worst case scenario here is that things get a bit more difficult to keep under control for a little while. DeltaFosB, those pesky P-pathways that just got a little hit, they're gonna be jiving for a while and trying to get you to revert back to your old habits completely. That's when you have to really be concerned about your progress. But as for now? Small slip-up. I've got some books I can recommend and there are some great articles on this particular subject. Now you have a first hand experience on one thing that is a definite pitfall, and now you can avoid it in the future. You know to avoid edging (and again, No, this isn't a complete and total loss that guarantees further failure. That sort of thinking, with respect to other responses, only harms you in the short and long term. This is why many, many users will warn you of just how dangerous edging actually is.), and what leads you to seek it out. You can start building up from there. Chin up, you're still going forward.

EDIT: Clarified some statements.

 

FFS, it's not rocket science.

 

When did nofap turned into yesfap

 

What? Nobody is telling him to fap.

 

Right, that was in the initial post. Now he's aware of why edging is as dangerous as it is.

 

I see now that my reply was neither smart nor helpful, I just acted impulsively, the thing is that I have a very dark past with edging and it makes me react very repulsively thinking about it

 

I told you thoughts are key. If you want to believe all the feel-good gobbledygook he posted, go ahead. See you at your next reset.

By the way, you're not at 109 days if you were edging and orgasmed.

 

That was a full relapse and reset though, I do agree that it doesn't mean your progress is back to zero, because you have made a lot of progress even after a relapse, you have build a lot of mental strenght.
But the counter has to go back to zero, otherwise you're kidding yourself, the message you are giving yourself is: fapping is not a relapse, and therefore it's ok to fap again, because I will keep my streak. Which is of course not true

Imagine an alcoholic having a 100 day streak, claiming that he never relapsed because he only took one sip every month

 

If you aren't having cravings right now, that's good. Just don't give them room to grow. Again, I highly recommend looking into some of the articles I mentioned from YBOP. They can articulate things far better than I can, and those are by professionals.

I've been there too man, no shame in that. Your heart's in the right place. As to not ping you twice - I agree; this was 100% a relapse. But, it's not the same thing as being back at square one. (A more appropriate term than day one, since we're talking about streak counters here.)

I'm not sure we disagreed in any way given we both have the same thoughts. Though looking back, I think the term 'day one' could be misconstrued. In terms of counter - yes, it should be reset. But overall progress? No, I'd say that isn't all gone. A relapse does indeed slow recovery and edging is very damaging, but it's never square one unless you revert back to your old habits long enough to undo all the recovery. Which, I should caution, is very easy to do. If there's anything I should clarify, do tell.

 

It doesn't send you back to square one, as you state, but it is a dangerous game to play. Any time in the past where I fell off the track, so to speak, I would end up binging. It's almost like eating potato chips. One is never enough.
Hopefully he can resist the urge and make it a true one-off.

 

I clarified several of my statements above to reflect this. You're correct with the chip analogy and we're all in agreement that edging is exceedingly dangerous and can lead directly to a relapse (and many users will consider edging a relapse regardless, and reset their counters even if it was just fantasy involved.) Whether or not that relapse is a binge and more harmful than a one off is all dependent on the user in question and what they choose to do next. One of the functions in our brain is once we do have something of a relapse, it signals us in a way that pretty much says "Welp, already failed, might as well make it worth it." Pretty much the direct cause for most binges. That's actually what killed my previous streak and led me to the forums.

Thankfully, to our knowledge, this is a one-off so far. My concern lays mostly in people worrying about whether or not the length of a streak that fully indicates recovery, so I try and express as much as possible that a slip-up like this doesn't mean your entire reboot is for nothing. I think that sort of thought can make it really easy for someone to go off and 'make the best of it' if you catch what I mean. But that said, I do recognize that it is important to keep in mind that the danger should not be downplayed either. I know you joked that this isn't rocket science, and really it isn't, but it does go hand in hand with neuroscience and understanding that helps clarify and set up boundaries we may not have seen before. A relapse in my opinion isn't scary because I'd have to reset my counter or update my signature, but because I know that it's not going to be a few hours of suffering and then it's done - the effects can last up to a week, thanks to the neurochemical cocktail involved in PMO.

 

What makes it scary for me personally is that I don't want to go backwards. Even now, as I approach 55 days, I still feel the urges occasionally and it would be really easy to give in. This happens especially when I feel that something about life is futile (which is where I am right now).

 

Right around the Day 50 mark is where some people tend to experience trouble if I recall, and that's where I started hitting the most walls too. Just gotta take it one day at a time, you're already getting through the dip. Once you hit Day 60, and I feel like you will, you'll be stronger for it.