The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Checking in, 43 days.

Currently I'm in slight flatline zone, I should be on guard, not putting to much pressure on myself.
I don't want too much stress during this period.

By flatline I mean: slight fatigue, and some sad feelings inside me.

In general - I'm ok

 

It's a war of desires when desire to break free from pmo fights desire to indulge in the pleasures of flesh,which is usually diguised as getting rid of stress and relax.
Desire which you think more of takes the control over our behavior. Long term goal or immediate gratification that's always the choice. Why contemplate something we don't want to experience?

This coin always has another side which is called ' I want it'. Here I mean that when you try to change an old habit you have to substitute it with something you want ,something desirable. Otherwise it gonna be like this:
An Unclean Spirit Returns
Luke 11:
24When an unclean spirit(read any bad habit like pmo) comes out of a man, it passes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left. 25On its return, it finds the house swept clean and put in order.’(read our state after a long streak of cleanliness) 26Then it goes and brings seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and dwell there(that's called binging). And the final plight of that man is worse than the first.” The moral is that either you cultivate and control what grows in the garden of your mind and soul or 'every wild weed set loose by your negligence' will turn it into a messy chaotic jungle with a surprisingly fast tempo.

 

Day 10

Was awake till 6 in morning. Thoughts occupied my mind, It was almost like a journalling session. I was revisiting past memories , my moments of 'success', some moments of brilliance, moments of embarrassment, etc. I was 'meditating' on female nature too, things I believed or better 'knew' was unquestionalble truth, how many things has turned out is not. I couldn't sleep.

 

The cause is described by you brother here:

Everyone who was exposed to porn and sex have quite strong links between women and pmo and it takes quite an effort to dissolve them. If you don't give up looking for women before that task it done you will guarantee yourself falling into pmo and brother @kaerhal playing with the same fire too by consenting to speed dating offered by his coworkers. So just try and complete the whole challenge at least -730 days clean before you start thinking about women and dating in order to have the right mind towards your wife(women/girlfriend).
...and just for the record -speech containing sex related swear words is conducive to relapse and binging ,even if it is only written down, for when writing we always speak the words in our minds. Be careful with what you write, for it has influence on our life too. And if we manage to supplant certain habitual swear words with something more decent, to help us vent frustration and and refocus on goal in mind, we will cut off some of the triggers we are not normally aware of.

 

Day 6 no PMO. I’m feeling better about my situation now. Thanks for supporting me guys.

 

Day 87.

“Receive without pride, let go without attachment.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 8.33

In the midst of the breakdown of the Roman Republic, during the civil war between Pompey and Caesar, Pompey made the decision to give control of the military fleet to Cato. It was a massive honor and hugely powerful position. But then a few days later, responding to the protests of his jealous inner circle, Pompey reversed his decision and took the command away.

It could have been seen as an enormous public humiliation—to be given a promotion and then have it taken away. The record shows that Cato’s reaction was basically nothing. He responded to the honor and the dishonor the same way: with indifference and acceptance. He certainly didn’t let it affect his support for the cause. In fact, after the snub, he worked to rally the soldiers before battle with inspirational speeches—the very men who should have been under his command.

That’s what Marcus is saying. Do not take the slights of the day personally—or the exciting rewards and recognitions either, especially when duty has assigned you an important cause. Trivial details like the rise and fall of your position say nothing about you as a person. Only your behavior—as Cato’s did— will.

 

Day 203

Not much to speak of from yesterday, felt a little down but the feeling soon passed. Today I need to finish some writing and then pack for a week at college!

Life will be very busy for the next two weeks, and I pray I maintain my strength throughout.

 

Checking in Fellowship Friends!

11 Days Free of PMO.

Good rest has been achieved! Onwards to another day dedicated to creating a new and better life.

Here is an excerpt of my notes yesterday, more from Marcus Aurelius's Meditations.

"Repentance is a kind of self-reproof for having neglected something useful ; but that which is good must be something useful, and the perfect good man should look after it. But not such man would ever repent of having refused any sensual pleasure. Pleasure then, is neither good nor useful."

My understanding is as follows:

-Repent something useful that was neglected (I.e Meditation, exercise, proper diet and good sleep care)
-What is good to us is useful to us (I don't mean in a manipulative or morally wrong way)
-The perfect good man (useful to his duty/life calling) should look after what is useful, meaning hone and care for it. (I.e Honing meditation, to hone your mind and presence in your day to day activities)
-Refusing sensual pleasure does not require repentance, as any pleasure of that sort (i.e porn, mindless social media/TV) is neither good, nor useful, it does harm to us.

Bonus from another quote

-Look at the thing you desire or hold, what is it made of, what impact does it have on the world? Are all important questions.

Stay strong!

@nerdy_owl Well done on assessing what occurred and standing back up again with confidence!

@LuckyMan @hardcore_detox This is the best way to tackle the addiction, creating a life outside of a device.

 

I appreciate your concern brother, but conversations with women are not exactly something that can be avoided in general life, and while I recognise that speed dating is an entirely different situation I’m not doing it with the intention of ‘hooking up’ - I do not believe in having sex before marriage and therefore it is not my intention for attending the event.

We can prepare as much as we like before beginning a relationship, but I would argue that after a certain time having faith in your own ability to not relapse is simply part of getting on with life. If I believed that going on a date would cause me to relapse I would not go on a date - the recommended waiting time you gave of two years is arbitrary, and so if I feel it is time for me to have faith in myself I shall.

 

Well brother the time is rather scientific and comes from Dr Patrick Carnes advice and 730 is minimum. He quotes 2-5 years process here.

 

Dawn of the 12th day.

 

0 Days
Thanks for all your messages and suggestion brothers!, your words make this journey better! Today I woke late so I'm going to start my routine just now. I just delete my instagram account and reorder my ideas in talking with girls. Not more intention in hooking ups.

Today I'm going to do exercise and take a cold shower.
Keep strong my brothers!

 

I understand your opinion and respect it..but all the reasons that you stated out there are a small portion ..majority of the men out there would like to be successful in life and with women..that is a natural trait of men..
and listen to this bro seriously
a man who maintains a good discipline for 10 days for eg and then allows himself to slip back into failure and the cycle continues..do you think this is a serious problem. i think this is not the weakness of will power or discipine..rather it is the artificial environment and the ease of these artificial things that are available everywhere...and the fact that temptation is all around you 360 degrees if you take a simple walk outside..
so what is the answer here my friend.. the answer is not discipline or willpower or motivation..the answer is in my opinion to strip the artificial safety net so you force your mind to be focused on the real issues..i.e danger as it is supposed to be..in this artificial society even women appear to be stronger then most men..take a look at crossfit women..or mma women..but thats all a facade...women thrive when the artificial safety net is around them..they are strong in controlled environments..but men thrive in the dangerous wild..that is the arena for men to thrive..if you put artificial safety nets around him he becomes weak hell he decays..thats why womens place is the home and mans place in the outer world but now it seems like the outer world is like a home..safe and secure..fucking artificial shit..danger is real but the modern world has cleverly masked it and it appears like everything is safe and good..
in my understanding the only way to correct your behaviour once and for all and go all in and no baby games like we all are playing around...is to get real..embrace the wild jungle out there and take a plunge into that jungle so the artificial safety net is stripped away and once you are on your own to look after yourself you got no choice but to level up...take for example high level prisons..in there you got no option but to stay vigilant, disciplined and strong..because you know that if become lax or play around you'll get fucked up real
so understand that i am working on your side and my side..i am against the fake and artificial net around us that has made us engage in fake and artificial shit..but good luck for your journey..and carry on

 

Day 1 - Hobbit

 

Day 352

Guys I forgot to post it, yesterday I had a wet dream. I can happily say that after a few months you can be like 2 or 3 months without having them.

 

We will have to agree to disagree on some of these points. The diverse examples I cited are not a "small portion" of men. Research into human psychology tells a much different story than you are telling. Personally, I know at least as many men who find the story you are trying to sell here distasteful as men who find it even slightly appealing. Regardless of how different men might feel or think about these ideas, your take on them doesn't ring true or helpful. You are making so many generalizations that I find categorically unproveable and potentially damaging to the success and well being of yourself and others that it is worth pointing out that these are all fairly extreme opinions to hold:

• "that is a natural trait of men"--presumes you know what is natural and proper for men to want and pursue.
• "danger as it is supposed to be"--presumes that the highest order of living is survival of the fittest with no "artificial safety nets," and that anything not prescribed by your conception of nature is "shit," "baby games," and "fake."
• "in this artificial society even women appear to be stronger then most men"--this is just lazy observations of anecdotal examples leading to incorrect conclusions about the state of things.
• "women thrive when the artificial safety net is around them...womens place is the home and mans place in the outer world..."--this bias has been empirically disproven over and over again across millennia, and is a damaging misogynistic stereotype that harms women. Talk to women--grandmothers, mothers, sisters, daughters, friends, associates, colleagues, strangers--and instead of objectifying them all into the category of "pussy," get to know them as human beings with intrinsic worth and actual dreams and feelings and lives, and I think you will find that the overwhelming majority of them really hate it when men try to tell them what their "place" in this world is or should be.
• "danger is real but the modern world has cleverly masked it"--I get the idea and I don't disagree in principle that modern comfort and convenience create a new set of challenges and issues for humans to deal with versus hunting and gathering food/not dying of exposure to the elements or simple infections or minor injuries/being killed by wild animals or other brutes or common ailments. The terrible assumptions you make here are that 1) the old "jungle" dangers are preferable to the modern "artificial" ones, and 2) that there is some grand conspiracy by some undefined "modern world" to maliciously deceive us into thinking that the safety and security provided by social, scientific, and cultural developments are bad for us. Don't encourage people to "get real" when you present opinions like this as reasonable and true.
• "take for example high level prisons"--come on man, this example literally undermines everything you are trying to argue. I can't think of a more artificial environment than a maximum security prison. I've never done time, but I've spent a decent amount of time volunteering in my state's maximum security penitentiary, and it is nothing like what you describe. Everything in there is man-made, externally imposed by society rather than nature, and less jungle-like than just about any place on earth.

So yes, let's both carry on in the quest to destroy the ring. I don't want to come across as superior, I just want to challenge some beliefs that I don't think are working for you, for me, or for the women who are objectified, harmed, and disenfranchised by them. If you want to truly respect and understand my opinions, re-examine some of yours and ask how you came to form such extreme and disparaging views. Maybe you need to question the voices you've been listening to? I'm sure you mean well and are just trying to navigate these challenges as best you can. Good luck to you too. No hard feelings I hope.

 

Day 10 check in. Days PMO-free in 2022: 196 out of 204.
“For behold! the storm comes, and now all friends should gather together, lest each singly be destroyed.” – Gandalf

 

234

 

had almost 8 days then I relapsed last night...for a real dumb reason
I hade very strong stomachache wasnt able to sleep ...tried to distract myself from pain... made it worse.
It feels like Im sry to myself now. I shouldnt have done this. Had only 1 hour of sleep. pain didnt let me come to relax. Tomorrow will be better Im feeling better now. I dont wanna be ill anymore. It feels shit when I cant do anything... I plan a new streak. 7 days is good but I can do way better. i know that!
Greets

 

Checking in day 252.