35 and Older Accountability Group

Today is day 16

 

Day 8. A lot less problems with fantasies today than yesterday. Maybe it was because it was Friday, or because I had an awesome work function (go karts) this afternoon, but yeah relatively easy day. Also, new LOTR quest item.

 

Day 17.

Getting a new phone is motivation to keep it clean

 

Day 4 down..

Urges come around 6-8 days in, need to weather them best I can.

I am learning to walk away from things that stress me out, it's a very hard thing for me to do as I have known all my life, that I have a quick temper.

Walking away to calm myself is working well, usually I'll try to work things out in my head whilst stressed and then I end up relapsing.

Not sure if that made sense?

Have a great weekend all, stay focused.

 

A couple of hours from day 8. Done well so far. No close calls. I feel like my motivation is low to drop PM for the first time, but I can control my behavior. 1/2 day at a time.

 

Dealing with a lot of shame and self hate today. Had a big fall out with my wife when she found out about a relapse I had a couple months ago. Worst of all later today I had a fleeting thought of wanting to fap. Right after all of this. Who does that? Wtf is wrong w me? And how did I get here? How do you ask her to stay and give another chance after causing her so much pain?

 

Bro I haven't read back your previous posts so I have no idea of you're story, however I would like to say, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself.

No disrespect to your Wife or anyone elses wife here but when are women going to understand that we are men and we are supposed to spread our seed that is why it's f****** hard to stop.

Keep strong bro, god bless.

 

Day 9. Still having fantasies, but they're continuing to get a bit dimmer, which is very nice. I had a random thought today that, because I'm doing so well, I should actually look at porn, as a way of testing my new resistance, just so I can be more satisfied with how well I'm doing... but of course I know that it's just my brain trying to trick me. Still going strong.

 

Stress is a major trigger for wanting to fap... after all, it gives you dopamine, otherwise known as the pleasure drug. Just ignore it, and if you can't, do something else like working out, which also gives dopamine.

You can't change the past, but you can change the future. And, unlike some other serious problems that may pop up in your life... fapping is completely, 100% in your control. Plus, the success of dealing with this problem will increase your ability to handle any other problem later in life, to mitigate it's impact on your life, and the lives of those around you, even if (unlike fapping) it's a massive problem that you can't completely solve.

 

Try slow, deep breaths. There's a method called the "4 4 4" breathing technique... basically you do the following:

1. Breathe in for 4 seconds.
2. Hold your breath for 4 seconds.
3. Breathe out for 4 seconds.

 

Day 18.

Just fixed my vacuum cleaner,
It had a clog in the hose. That was all.

I was ready to throw it away but I said, let me at least try to fix it instead of giving up and buying a new one.

20 minutes later, I have a working vacuum, and I saved $80!

 

Reset! However….once more unto the breach. Hope you are all doing ok

 

Thanks brother I'll give it a try !

 

Please find me an accountability group like here. Urgent. Am Guy 48y.

 

Reached 10 days. Starting to feel a little bit of lethargy/drainage, not sure if it's related, but might be the beginnings of flatline. Will see how it goes. Fantasies are almost gone now... I almost have to concentrate to keep them going, which I sometimes do more out of habit than anything else. Watched a movie today, the overview didn't list any nudity but it did have a brief sex scene, barely caused any fantasy waves which I'm very happy about. Might just be tired today, but overall things are going pretty good so far, definitely nowhere near relapsing atm.

 

Day 19. Getting stronger. Urges are constant.
This is a good thing. Better than giving in.
If I do give in, I lose my MoJo.
Gotta stay on top!

 

Good job!

I find 21 days to be the target to reach for long streaks, urges usually get better after that.

Keep going bro

 

checking in...

 

Had a terrible day today at work, got transferred to another team with basically no warning, no idea who my new manager is or what I'll be doing. Lot of stress but haven't reset... very lucky this didn't happen when I was only 3 days in, or I probably would have fallen over completely, but at this point the fantasies are basically gone, so I will hopefully be able to manage the stress of the next few weeks without messing this up as well.