The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Checking in day 254.

 

Wanting other people to make the choices for me. No other person than me can make my choice to not act out.

 

Day 206

Good to meet the new people at college; since I’ll be spending so much time with them over the next year today has been a good opportunity to get to know them, and it’s always good to make new friends.

I received a compliment about my appearance from one of my friends today, completely blindsided me but I can’t lie it gave me a huge confidence boost. Can’t let it go to my head! Urges are not presenting themselves, feeling strong.

 

check out day 1
way too late - was gaming with a girl
it was funny but I forgot time...
good that this isnt happen frequently
good night!

 

About to meet with the two girls of my church that Im attracted to... This might be dangerous but I know with God I'm strong.

Pray for me please! God's will be made

 

Day 89
Only 1 day left for day 90

Hello sir, Can I join your class?

 

Day 9 complete!

Sleeping on the floor was a bust, haha. I rolled around for two hours and then climbed back into bed so I could get some actual rest. It was worth a shot. The problem is that my body is so used to having something covering it, like a blanket or even just a sheet, that I can't fall asleep without it. Maybe if I took a blanket onto the floor with me, that would work. This whole concept is a silly little thing, almost like a game, but it's nice to be able to run through the mental process of identifying a problem, considering a potential solution, and then making a plan to implement that solution. It's the kind of thing that kicks PMO completely out of my head, even if for only a few seconds, and that's such a nice feeling.

St. Joseph the Worker, pray for us!

 

19 days – Bree sends aid! Bill, a strong and kind pony, joins your quest by carrying rations and items.

Quest Aid – Bill, the pony

I really needed that now, I do feel lonely on my path.

 

47 (15 hard mode) days complete

Thanks @RiseToGreatness , you helped me stay clean yesterday.

I was too overwhelmed to mentally fight the urges and think about the harm it causes or remember my real reasons, I just went with avoiding strategies, I didn't forget my goals. The attitude is not gone completely. Actualy yesterday I had an urge to masturbate in a very long time. And with that urge came the memories of the most memorable P scenes I have seen. Confessing makes me feel better, but I will definitely not take my phone to the toilet with me.

 

46 days – Lady Galadriel, Princess of the Ñoldor, gives you a bow such as the Galadhrim used. Among the best bows of Middle Earth, the bow was longer and stouter than the bows of Mirkwood and it was strung with a string of elf-hair.


It was a good day, I went to swim in the sea in the morning, then I worked and after work I went for solid workout.

Right now I'm in the flatline zone, so I should be aware of it, I should avoid social networks/youtube etc.

 

Still at it. Having slight urges from time to time but managed them.

Day 10 - Uruk-Hai, The Dark Tower Barad-Dûr

 

Day 3.
The good thing about tracking my progress on a calendar is that I see some patterns suddenly.

I've relapsed almost every Tuesday this month (and also every Friday). So I'm not sure why, but I know that I'm in an extra dangerous place today.

Today I'm having a call with someone who runs a local anti porn support group. And I admit that I'm kind of scared, both from losing my anonymity and from all of the stories I've heard about how these support groups can be parts of some cult or weird stuff like that. But I'll take a chance, it's batter than just giving up and relapsing.

 

Day 9 no PMO. Woke up and walked to see the sunrise. Feels like it’s going to be a good day.

 

relapse...
missed early check In = went to bed to late yesterday = relapse
should have known this. Its almost always the same.
that girl Im gaming with is teasing me like hell - and if we game we always forget time and after that I almost always relapse.
Its dumb... this "girl" is married and has two kids. So I shouldnt think about anythink or let me tease.
For the next time I need a plan and a strict end time (like 0:00) shouldnt go to bed after midnight.
Its one of my strongest relapse reasons....
this could have been avoided man

 

Checking in Fellowship Friends!

14 Days Free of PMO.

Stronger urges this morning, alongside porn flashbacks. My mind is starting to pull me slightly. I still will not give in to it, I'm interrupting the thought as it pops up and redirecting it. I also successfully kept to my plans of yesterday, regardless of how I felt.

Today, I feel better although I have a lingering headache, which presumably is from the whole Vertigo recovery process. Once more, I will keep to my schedule today. I intend to mediate, workout, daily exposure to my fears and some deep work.

Stay Strong!

@Ready to Stop Very nice shot! I've been making it a habit to stay outside daily right after breakfast for 10 minutes, just to start the day off with some natural light. It's proven to be very helpful.

 

90 days You reached the Black Gate of Mordor. Power and wisdom runs through your veins, you´re a servant of the Secret Fire, Wielder of The Flame of Anor, a Grey Wizard
Today marks my 90th day on this discipline. Though its just a number i would have never made it alone this far without you guys. Thanks fam.

 

day 5 building the blocks

 

hahaha could be, maybe we are from the same country

 

Congrats!

 

3 days
Low urges yesterday and some brain fog(the most annoying PMO effect for me). Mi laptop crasshes yestarday, so I have to find out a way to repair it.

Today I didn't worked out but I took a cold shower at least.
Keep strong brothers.