The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Welcome to the fellowship! May you defeat our foe.

By the way the "ranks" changed. Check the rules on 1st page

 

Day 370

 

3 days
Low urges yesterday, worked a lot, but was a good day.

Today I worked out and took a cold shower.
Keep strong my brothers.

 

day 3

we're doing it Fellowship. let's keep moving onward! God bless you all

 

day 12

Slept through most of the day, which I much prefer over PMOing like a zombie.

 

Tough day. Full of duties, but I'm glad I'm studying. I overcame myself in swimming training today and took a cold shower after that. It's renewing.

Had some urges throughout the day, but I'm managing it. I have to pay more attention to where I lead my thoughts. All releases start there.

 

34 days – You reached the Doors of Durin, the West-door of Moria.

At work I feel that I'm not everyone's hero and favorite guy right now. I'm not unpopular but it hurts my narcissism.

 

Day 6 complete!

I was really close to a relapse for most of the day. I had several talks with my AP but it's a miracle I haven't given in yet, and by now I'm really tired from fighting all the urges. For a few weeks now I have just felt tired all the time, like I can't summon up any energy at all. My PMO habits haven't changed for better or worse lately, so I don't think that's the cause, but I hope this goes away soon.

Don't feel bad; you're not alone. This is what happens to me on about 90% of my urges. I wish I could tell you I have an answer, but I don't. How are we supposed to fight something that we're not even given the chance to fight? If you find something that works for you, please tell me.

St. Lawrence, pray for us!

 

63 days complete

Nothing special just same old checking women out and some phantasies about women and my wife. Some urges to go phishing while checking facebook, but that's it.

 

Ready for day four. This morning felt easier than yesterday. However, I will stay vigilant and keep the pmo panic button close!

 

Thanks for noticing! I do feel like all that time I went without PMO has made this time after the slip much easier than it would have been a few years ago. Makes me wonder if counting the days like one of our brothers does (example: 203 days clean this year) might be a more accurate picture of how we are doing. This way we can succeed without being perfect.

 

Day 25 no PMO. Went to ride go carts yesterday and ended up getting huge motion sickness. The carts were fun but the sickness kept me in bed all night. I guess I’m just an old man now. LOL

 

On the edge. My wife is planning a big trip with her friends for a couple of weeks next month and from the moment I realised it was happening my brain just could not let it go. All I can think about is having two weeks of uninterrupted PMO sessions. And I've even started to consider smoking weed for the first time in forever (alongside the PMO. I used to do it all the time). And it is fucking me up. I feel like I can’t talk to her about it, and I don’t know what to do. Just this idea has started to affect my current state. Today I woke up extra tired and had the usual hard time in the morning to not look at porn. My brain is thinking about all of my porn blockers as video game riddles and I think I found another way to pass them. I feel like I could find a cure for cancer with this level of motivation and I hate it. I still have a couple of weeks before she’ll leave. And I’m already on the best streak of 2022 and I don’t want to ruin everything by having a binge party.

 

Day 5 entered the old village of bree

 

Check in day 64.
Does anyone know what might be the reason I cant see my own counter, whereas I was able to see it a few months back?

 

Day 222

Everything was going well today until it was time to go to bed; soon after lying down I began to hear my neighbours going at it, which proved to be a huge distraction. Thankfully I remembered I had my swimming earplugs in my bag so they managed to block out all the sound, but my mind was still racing as it was the first time hearing those sounds since I quit PMO.

I’ve woken up feeling a lot better, but the night made me realise that my addiction is not quite yet broken - triggers like that weren’t something I’d accounted for and I’ve never felt in more danger of relapsing.

 

Dawn of the 31st day.

I'm probably due to update my ranking. Seeing as I'm getting married tomorrow I won't bother touching that until next week.

 

Checking in Fellowship Friends!

30 Days Free of PMO. 1 month achieved.

Yesterday was pleasantly surprising, I was not feeling the best in the morning but as I got started and focused on my tasks, things got much better. It was a successful day of paving my new path.

I'm starting off the day better today, same concept. Meditation, exposure , work and some reading.

I want to share something I read from Marcus Aurelius Meditations yesterday:

"Wipe out thy imaginations by often saying to thyself: now it is in my power to let no badness be in this soul, nor desire nor any perturbation at all; but looking at all things I see what is their nature, and I use each according to its value. Remember this power which thou hast from nature."

What I got from this:

We have power over our own thoughts, power to allow no bad thoughts or thoughts that are unworthy to ourselves to linger. Not to let it touch our soul, what I gather from that is not entertaining that thought. Seeing things for what they truly are, deciphering and using what is of value to the soul. To enrich ourselves

Stay Strong!

30 days – Your loved ones send you a gift as a token of their love. Radagast, the Brown, in his rabbit sleigh delivers you Evenstar – a silver necklace with a white stone. "When the memory of the fear and the darkness troubles you...this will bring you aid".


@Paul S. Thank you brother and congrats to you as well on reaching one month!

@hardcore_detox Congrats on hitting 2 months!

 

After a long time, Brother........Nice to see you again .....Let's start the journey

Congratulations brother! Wish your happy wedded life

 

Day 105
105 days You reached Henneth Annûn, a hidden refuge of the Rangers of Ithilien. You´re now the commander of army´s and ruler of hearts. People love you. “Who am i?” “You are our King, sire!”