45 days of nofap ---Half the 90 days reboot

One month of hardwork and improvement to build a new life. Let this may be the month of life change

 

Started the training.

 

May 1
Today i am juat starting the training. Consistency is the key for success. Thats the thing i missed all this years.
I always go back to coomer life because deep down i am not prepared for a new life of discipline and good things. I am always in a safe zone where i can fap and enjoy.

I just wasted a life. 25 years had been wasted for nothing. Some guys got pleasure from sex, and fools like me watch it and fap. They got pleasure and what did i get.?

 

@astronautfrompompei hey bro,hope you are doing good in may 1

 

The people in porn get money and pleasure for me i get the address of a weak man. I was always the beta, who fail in convincing or making a woman happy. I am always a loser. Idk why my life sucks.

Somedays before i just saw a women, who previously had given me chance to f..k her. But i being a fap addict act like a weird man and i ghosted her.

Now she is with her new boyf, i just saw her some days back. She told me " you are a pathetic loser" and she flirt with her new bf infront of me. At that momant i just want someone to nuke, where i stand or i want to explode. I was feeling a ton of regret and sadness. I was a loser loser loser . oh god what a pathetic soul.

 

May 2
Major deppressive episode is slowly starting. But i will keep my shield up always. I won't fail this time. A clean month of may is my dream. For 20 years i am struggling to get a month clean. This time or never.

 

I failed, today is my bday too. But i failed. So its no point to remain in this site. I am leaving. From 2018 onwards i am here still 24 days is only i can do. I am done. People doing100+ and rebooted streaks, how you guys are doing it. I am fycked as hell. I dont know what to do. Today i am having my birthday and yet i failed. Good buy guys.

 

day 1/45