I don't know what to do anymore...

I think you're spending a little too much time in the "future" with your thoughts. You're seeing people go for weeks while you're still on days. Not as big a deal as you think.

Landing a man on the moon took first assembling a rocket that could pierce the atmosphere. Then we sent probes to make sure it wasn't made of cheese or whatever. Then it took creating a habitat for the astronaut within that rocket. Then it took to testing an orbit of the Earth, then the moon, then still a practice landing probe. All of this took years and years, and all of them were monumental achievements in their own right. Yet they didn't land on the moon!

Don't get caught up on where others are- their proverbial rockets could be disintegrating on the launch pad, they could still be sending up monkeys. You've got to wind back the timescale in your mind and reduce yourself to tasks that can be done in hours and days, not weeks and months.

 

You need to explain what you did.

for example, if you say "I did nothing and my longest streak was 12 days" than I would say that's obvious.

 

What I learnt from the book "your brain on porn"

Always don't think that I won't do this anymore. Think like I Don't know about tomorrow but today i am not doing this for sure .

All it takes a spark to start again . Good luck

 

You have to decide for yourself if you've hit bottom yet. As bad as it is now, you could go lower, all you have to do is analyze it with your rational brain - what if I don't stop? Play that tape forward, picture yourself in a few more years. You know this is a path towards total depression and self-destruction.

You can decide, right now, that your last PMO session will truly BE your last PMO session. A new man is waiting for you, take the steps to be him.

 

I also work from home (on my own) so I know how difficult it can be. I assume you've already installed every single website blocker under the sun, and have blocked all websites containing any adult material (Reddit, Twitter, all search engines that have removable family filters). I've also blocked the website of my internet provider to make it more difficult for me to log in and change the settings. If you're able to in your job, disconnect your laptop from the WiFi until you've finished work (and then, ideally, do something out of the house). Spend as little time as possible on screens. Do not use your phone unless someone contacts you (put the sound on and leave it in another room or the other side of the room, especially at night).

I also suggest using BlockSite's Focus mode (which gives you short breaks between manageable chunks of work time). It's a great way of giving your brain just the right amount of dopamine and relaxation needed to keep working and avoid distractions.

Another suggestion I would make is sign up to do something that scares you. PMO obviously has a major impact on our confidence and focus, so you need to have something on your calendar worth avoiding PMO for. For example, I have, in recent months, become involved with animal welfare outreach events (talking to members of the public about animal rights issues). The thought of that scared the life out of me, and I know that those events would have been a complete disaster had I PMOed. My anxiety would have been bad, I'd have forgotten my words, I'd have had brain fog... The usual stuff. Instead, because I was PMO free, I absolutely smashed all of the events and was so proud of myself. Putting myself out of my comfort zone made it even more clear to me what can be achieved when we beat this addiction.

I noticed that you first joined this website on September 3, 2019. The third anniversary of that date is in four days so that might be a good day to start your journal again (I see you used to write one). I've only just started a journal but I think it's going to prove really helpful. Journals certainly seem to help a lot of people on here, so that might be worth thinking about (even if you only write it in from time to time).

You may well be doing all of these things, in which case, just keep going. As every day passes, I am feeling more and more sure that I am beating this addiction. I've had one minor slip-up since June 16th, after years of trying to quit. Like you, I would ALWAYS get to around two weeks and relapse, time and time again (it was always day 14 for me). However, now, I just feel like my brain is changing. Never, ever give up! When you're on your deathbed, you don't want to look back on your life and remember yourself hunched over a grubby screen in the dark, stinking and covered in your own muck (graphic but true). Like Lado said (^), tell yourself every day that you are someone who does NOT watch porn. If you get a craving, remind yourself of this (out loud if possible). It does help! All the very best of luck, mate! You will win this battle!

 

Start with 1 hours, and increase your time by 10% when you relapse or succeed. You just need momentum. I got a 10 day streak with this, now I'm working on 11 days all the way to 90.

 

If you can't do 1 hour, do 10 minutes, maybe even a minute, or even 1 second.