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how do you make decisions

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by recoome, Sep 5, 2022.

  1. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    I just cannot decide anything. i keep on making pros and cons but there are pros and cons to everything. i dont know what to do, end up just sitting and not making any decisions.
     
    Meshuga likes this.
  2. Derb90

    Derb90 Fapstronaut

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    such is life
     
    ndaty and recoome like this.
  3. FirefromAbove

    FirefromAbove Fapstronaut

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    Don't think just do.

    The more you think the less you do.

    Make a decision and stick with it. Even if you end up making the wrong decision.
     
  4. TheHouseAlwaysWins

    TheHouseAlwaysWins Fapstronaut

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    This sounds like anxiety to me. I'm much the same. I'd advise figuring out what it is that makes you like this, and working to fix it.
     
    Meshuga likes this.
  5. GhostRider@11

    GhostRider@11 Fapstronaut

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    Steps while making a decision:
    1> Know all your options, first know exactly how many options are there.
    2> Differentiate sreyas(good) and preyas(pleasant). There are few things which are actually good for you and few which are only for pleasure purpose. A wise man is capable of differentiating sreyas and preyas.
    3> Just knowing what is good and what is just for pleasure is not enough, you must choose the good. Use your will power and all other faculty to choose a appropriate options, without letting your hunger for pleasure blind you.
    3> Once taken a decision, remove all other options from your mind, stick with your decision and don't even think about other options. If you keep other options in your mind, you will feel half way through your decision that other option was better and you won't be able to invest your all energies on your decision, and end up acting poorly. So, remove all other options from your mind and do what you have already decided.
     
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  6. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    but then i often think of well cut your losses.
    i guess its about make small decisions and let them pile up.

    yeah i need to continue therapy again.
    this
     
  7. ShadyPerson

    ShadyPerson Fapstronaut

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    A week or two back I heard of a method of making decisions for the direction of your life. It does take a couple of days though:

    1. Write down your options and why you are considering them.

    2. Place the options on a line on wall or a table where they won't be moved around by anyone else.

    3. Let them be for a day. Don't even think about them that much.

    4. The next day go through your options one by one. If an option sounds good to you in that moment in time, move it up a notch. If it doesn't sound that compelling, move it down. Don't overthink it too much, it's fine to go by the vibes.

    5. Repeat the step 4. on seven-ish days or however it takes for one option to emerge as the winner.
     
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  8. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    this sounds like a good idea.
     
  9. Angel in the Dark

    Angel in the Dark Fapstronaut

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    I have the same, I really struggle with the concept that a decision I make has unpredictable consequences that potentially affect me or my life in ways that I want to avoid at all costs. Therefore I feel like I lose less by not making a decision at all. But that is twisted logic, in the end you lose more by not deciding anything at all. You should always keep that in mind.
     
    recoome likes this.
  10. Well, it depends greatly on what kind of decision, whether it's huge or minor.

    For huge decisions, I spend a lot of time in prayer and ask God to guide me in the right direction.

    For minor things, I don't know. I suppose for the most part I weight the pros and cons and decide which ones seem preferable to me. Or if they are pretty equal, then I guess it wouldn't really matter, so either decision would be fine.

    But it really depends on the specific situation. I don't think there is a one size fits all rule for how to make decisions.
     
    Meshuga likes this.
  11. tawwab1

    tawwab1 Fapstronaut

    I usually put off making a decision until I absolutely have to.

    If I make decisions early, I'm probably going to change my mind anyway, so why not be up front about it and say I haven't decided.
     
    recoome likes this.
  12. SilentDie

    SilentDie New Fapstronaut

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    You choose what you think will bring more benefit or less harm. It is necessary to assess the risks and choose the objectively correct option. Of course, it won't always be true. But such is life
     
  13. koolpal

    koolpal Fapstronaut

    It depends on your personal values (which can also change throughout life).

    You can make decisions that prioritize health, safety, money, power, fame, pleasure, friendships, family, avoidance of risks or loss, etc.

    But no matter what you choose, there’s gonna be someone shaming you for it.

    Here’s an example:

    You’re offered free donuts.
    If you accept it, they shame you calling you “unhealthy” coz it’s high in fat & sugar.
    If you don’t accept it, they shame you for being “healthy” & you make everyone else look bad.

    It’s a catch-22 situation.
    The fallacy is you either value health or camaraderie, but not both.

    I like playing video games where you can make multiple decisions, and the game changes based on that. I relate that to real life.

    Sometimes you can make what what appears to be the wrong choice, but it could also be the best choice at the time, given the best available information.

    Hope that helps.
     
  14. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    I can't sustain a chain of thoughts. It's like should I buy bicycle or car. With bicycle I can travel early morning rides. With car I can go on long drives.
    But then whom do I go on Long drives with. Whats the point.

    So I might as well take cycle. But then what will I do with all the money. Might as well take car to go to office. But then I can also take bicycle to office. So on N on...
     
  15. koolpal

    koolpal Fapstronaut

  16. she-dernatinus

    she-dernatinus Fapstronaut

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    Yes, I understand that part as well of taking into account each advantage or disadvantage when trying to make an important choice, but it all boils down to what is your top priority at the time of your decision.
     
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  17. Husto

    Husto Fapstronaut

    Take the small decisions the ones that are not important now. If you deside which movie to watch or which food to have just set yourself one minute to do so and stick with it. This way you will make the trivial decision and get them of your mind. It is fine to take time for the big life decisions and do the pro cons stuff. I also feel that if I'm on a longer streak I can take decisions more easily.
     
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  18. I find the best way to make a choice as quickly as you possibly can is to act on nothing but impulse. Even if it ends up being not-such a good choice. Or even a bad one.
    You will learn from your mistakes.

    But standing idly by thinking as life passes you by is going to get you nowhere. It's even worse than not making a bad decision, because you are wasting earth's most valuable resource; Time.
     
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  19. BrighterFuture

    BrighterFuture Fapstronaut

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    I do this effective trick

    one
    two
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    four
    five

    I count to five, and then either do or I don't

    this works with everything, even if you want to ask a question but you feel scared, try this method, it did wonders to my life, no more thinking, just work it out
     
  20. InformalPermit8701

    InformalPermit8701 Fapstronaut

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    I don't have much advice for how to make s decision, but Han reminds me not to worry too much over the decisions I've made.

    "Life's simple , you make choices and you don't look back." -Han in Tokyo Drift

    I will add to this some with my own perspective. The choice you end up making is the right choice, because it's the choice you made and you can never go back and change it.
    I do what I think is best in the moment, while still understanding the potential future ramifications, but in the end I made the choice and will love with it.
     
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