I'm afraid "the one" will reject me

Disclaimer: I never dated, I don't have a lot of baggage, and I'm doing pretty well on noPMO

My advice: stay confident. If anyone can do it, you can too. You just have to believe in yourself. If you couldn't last a few days without PMO then don't give up and consider it a challenge to do better next time. Accept your baggage and be proud of what you're doing because in the end you're becoming a better person out of it and you know this.

 

My advice in the area of dating and finding "the one" is to stop looking. Seek God and the everything else will fall into place.

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

 

I was in a similar situation as you in my twenties (I am in my forties). I could not get a date to save my life for about four years. Most of it was lack of confidence. I felt that because I PMO all the time, it showed on my face and women could tell. I tried meeting women or asking them out but failed every single time. Each time I failed, I turned to PMO.

Then one day, I decided to let go of the frustration. I basically accepted the fact that I could not find a girlfriend and made an effort to focus my energies for other things. I learned to appreciate what I already have like a good job, great friends and a hopeful future. I remember dumping my porn collection as well. Since I didn't focus on the fact I had no girlfriend, I stopped PMO. A month and a half later, I met a beautiful woman who eventually became my wife.

For me, it was acceptance of the situation and focusing on other things in life that brings happiness to you. The right person will appear in your life at the right time and will accept you for who you are. She will love you and help you beat your addiction as well.

Have faith!

 

I can sympathize with your feelings of "unworthiness." That is common with P&M. It is natural to feel ashamed, depressed, and like a failure. However, you, like many before and after, can rise above it. It may take some time, and it is a process, but it can happen if you take the necessary steps.

As for finding the right "one," I believe that you will. If she is right for you she will be able to forgive your past mistakes, just like you will be able to forgive any of hers. She may be hurt by your confession, based on her experience, or lack thereof, with P&M. But if she really loves you she would most likely not let that get in the way. (It will probably be much easier if you are free of your problem at that time...)

I spoke with my wife of my previous struggles prior to our marriage. She was completely compassionate and charitable towards me. Keep making the right efforts and everything will work out!

 

In reality, you don't know "her" yet. She could be the most compassionate person you have ever met. God has a way of doing just what is right for each of us.

 

I understand what you're going through, but I think it's important that you quit for yourself rather than for a woman that you haven't even met. When you do meet her, you'll know because she'll love you for who you are, and accept and forgive who you were.

 

What type of baggage? I think everybody has some form of emotional baggage within the dating area.
I accept what you are on about, but my advice is to consider working on other areas of your life before you go dating.