The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Checking in Fellowship Friends!


61 Days Free of PMO.

Seems the symptoms have more or less subsided, today my intent is to do a small level of exposure, a deload workout, meditation, reading and work.

I've been really working hard on challenging the wandering mind and attempting to refocus it on the present. The wandering mind is something i've cultivated for a long time, which will require time and practice to alter but I am willing.

Here are some notes from my reading of Marcus Aurelius's meditations:
"Neither in thy actions be sluggish nor in thy conversation without method, nor wandering in thy thoughts, nor let there be in thy soul inward contention nor external effusion, nor in life be so busy as to have no leisure." -Marcus Aurelius

Stay Strong!

@Baki Hanma Thank you brother !

@Slider8 I'm sad to see your relapse brother, but I'm glad to see that you have pinpointed its cause. Do you think you were complacent in your positive reboot practices during that stressful period you mentioned?

 

Day 21 no PMO.

 

Day 137

Brother I'm so sad after reading that comment . But brother you have explored the big area of NoFap Journey . So you have lot of experiences than me brother. You can do it brother.

 

Practicing control over your thinking is a good way to tackle the issue. I say meditation and self awareness is the way to do it for to control something we have to be aware of it first.
Try practicing a view on live where are no others and the world we live in is only a reflection of us. How do you want your world to be? Dry and superficial or deep and satisfying? Are you afraid of yourself? Well I sometimes am.

 

It's not the complacency but a lack of certain practices and good habits like meditation on that day. I think it's a battle when brain gets affected by lust to a certain level to fight against acting out. And the stressfull period I mentioned has been long, for yars when I feel like avatar but failing to become turuk machto. Yeah for many years I have been failing to take it to another level. Reason?I fail to get rid of the old,of the past that's holding me I try to do new but keep looking backwards to my past. Abloody prisoner of old times and although I heard the truth,there is a terrible lack of self -discipline to act on my aspirations and dreams...
I won't face many people I love in my life without being on another level but I keep failing to unlock it because I stuck in my old beliefs and see only them and nothing behind them...I fail to break sentimental attachment to the lifeless past like it was a treasure which I can't use...ha a ha like the one ring installed in the brain whilst having plenty of confusing advises on how to uninstall and reprogram which for the reason of their confusing multitude I wasn't able to apply...

 

"Your story may not have such a happy beginning. But that doesn't make you who you are. It is the rest of your story who you choose to be."



I have the 2nd movie. This scene is still one of my favorites that I can relate to.

 

Nobody can't change you and make you not you but you.

 

4 days hard mode. Made it through a night off in work camp. Feeling good about that. Learned last night that I need to give my brain some breaks. I was always under the assumption that I always had to be doing. Seams that part of the reason I use porn is because my brain needs to be calmed and stimulated. I never did things that calmed my brain. Exercising calms the brain, reading fiction calms the brain, journaling calms the brain, sports calm the brain, meditating calms the mind. Social media does not. You tube does not. Reading self help books does not. I work 12 hour nights, ussually 10 hour days. Then I go on social media and youtube. No wonder I am always so bloody tired. I never give my brain a break. I was doing good with hitting the driving range or golfing every day. I never did calm my mind though. I was always trying to hard and was never relaxed. Through my night off I journaled for about 15 minutes, spent 10 minutes on an eliptical trainer, read about 4 chapters of the Fellowship of the Ring. Strange I felt most satisfied after journalling. I would not have expected that. I did find the eliptical and reading time very relaxing too. I have never found praying the Rosary or 7 sorrows rosary very relaxing. Trying to hard to be perfect.

My brain is always in overdrive it seams. Trying to figure things out. Always thinking and planning. It seams I have found some ways to slow it down for awhile. I guess the 90 program I bought teaches one how to slow their brains down too. I guess this is a big reason I need porn. Through trauma in my childhood my brain went into overdrive and it needs to be calmed and pmo is really good at this, temporarily. Then adds fire to the flame. I have been trying to get out of this addiction by frantically doing. Seams it has had the opposite effect of what was inteneded. I need to learn to stop and let my brain have rest. I think I am going to take some time off after this job and let my brain rest for awhile. God please grant me the rest I need. I am so tired. Help me slow down.

 

That's a very interesting take. It gives me a different perspective. I'm trying it out! Thanks for replying

 

Ofcourse I will not.

Please focus on your failed streak. Thank you.

 

Day 1 check in. Days PMO-free in 2022: 239 out of 254.

 

12 days
Low urges yesterday, and hanged out with a friend and after went to see the girl that I'm dating.

Today I didn't do exercise (My rest day) but I will take a cold shower.
Keep strong my brothers.

 

Checking in day 1.
Brothers here is the best physical exercise you can do to enhance your well-being and think better!

 

Checking in. All good, getting better at managing my emotions, managing stress, and redirecting my imagination towards my goals.
Tired though, got to work on getting enough quality sleep.
Have a great day, Fellowship.

 

I accept total responsibility for my actions brother, all I was trying to say was that it seems like many people on this thread have stumbled within a short time of one another.

I was also in no way condoning binging as an appropriate behaviour - please stop jumping on people’s mistakes!

 

9/10/2022, completed

day 12 - No P / M / O
day 12 - No Psub / addiction-induced arousal

 

I am in, hopefully a hobbit to a god

 

check inn