PMO destroyed my Education

I do not know how much help I can really be, but I will share my story with you. If for nothing else then motivation and to let you know someone is going through a similar problem. I am 32. I have been a porn addict since 16. With bouts of sobriety. I have failed out of a high ranked university where I had a full scholarship. This was largely due to PMO. I would spend all my time PMOing instead of studying. Then would feel ashamed and have a brain fog, so i would drink and get high. After 2 years I lost my scholarship and took a job doing construction.

Recently I went back to school, and the stress is very difficult for me too. I also really struggle around exam times and most often give in and spend the next few days in a brain fog followed by a week or so of feeling anti-social and ashamed. I have had a couple of good runs being clean when I follow these steps. I am still not clean and have not made 90 days but this has helped me.

Things to do daily
1. Exercise.
2. Get on nofap everyday read and reply to at least one post. (This helps me because it gets my counter out there and I find that the more it's out there and the more people see it. The more motivated I am not to reset it.)
3. Be active in class (This does not mean know it all, or ask a ton of questions. I just try to talk to people every class. This is very difficult, because I am shy and pretty fucking socially awkward, but the conversations that I have had helped me understand that college is really stressful for most people. They may not go on pmo binges but they do eat a ton of froyo or drink heavily.)
4. Get a hobby (I prefer ones that have nothing to do with school this is partly because I am older then most students, at the same time its nice to know I can fail miserably at school and the people that I am surrounded by outside of school don't care).
5. Don't drink (this might not apply for you but I find that when I drink I pmo)

This has helped me since I found NoFap and got serious about quitting porn. While I have not beaten this yet just the act of trying and following these steps has helped me greatly. Here are the benefits I have received for just making the effort and doing my best.

Benefits.
1. I have lost 80lbs
2. I have made deans list 3 quarters.
3. I have both male and female friends(This is big because before I had no friends I was very very isolated)

I wish I had a direct road map to beating this addiction and overcoming stress from school. All I can say is Quiting PMO is a hard road but one you will be better for walking.

I wish you the best of luck.

 

If the PMO stuff is causing problems I your life, it's pretty clear what you're going to have to do. Go cold turkey. I did that a week and a half ago. It was pretty tempting to go back to old habits at first, but after a week, it got way better. Now it's a bit embarrassing thinking back on all the time wasted.

As for TV, that's a big waste too. Most of it is crap. Ration it, or better yet, pull the plug.

Lastly, make yourself a daily schedule. Generally you'll want to study three hours for every hour of class time.

It gets better, man.

 

I had the very same problems as you had but the benefits of no pmo are undeniable. You will start seeing changes in no time. I would say do something to better your life whatever that may be. If you do watch tv do it for only 30 mins after your classes are done, 30 mins gives your brain enough time to relax studies prove. After that you need to get up and when you watch tv don't down do it in a seated position. After that you need to be productive until you go to sleep. Several days it will feel like a chore but after you will start to notice the benefits. I would also keep all electronics away from your bed so you aren't tempted at night, it is a killer for me to have them near me. You will have temptations but know you won't die from them, you just have to watch them pass. Don't try to shove them to the back of your mind, just know that they are there and that they will pass. Each time you do that your discipline will grow. It is kind of like a muscle each time you work it out you become stronger. When an urge is too strong go for a walk without your phone or a cold shower. Usually works for a lot of people.

 

We're in the same boat, home skillet. All I can say is we need to shut off the distractions, sit down, and just study. Easier said than done.

 

I messed up badly at school aswell and lost my scholarship this semester. I am still studying tough and work at a 40% job with pizza delivery so I can pass my maths. It is really hard to keep up with class but for the last 28 days I decided to go bad ass. I cold shower every single day, workout hard in the gym, meditate and installed an app called rescue time on my phone. I am studying for 45 minutes at a time and listen to Brian Tracys book about self dicipline in the breaks. It gets easier to study for every day and I am systematically deleting time wasters. I make plans for each day and dont give up untill the task is done or the stars tells me that I should continue the next day. All this may sound insane but keep moving forward. If you improve at a rate of even a tenth of a percent a day that equals 26% a year. Make it your goal to do a little better than yesterday, every day. Read books, listen to audio programs, get your feets into the shower. Before long you will be kicking ass. I am at 4 weeks tomorrow (28 days) and feel more powerfull than ever. I even have two dates with two different girls this week. My friend, what is worth having is worth fighting for. Get down and do some pushups, pick up your sword and go conquer the world. Life will hit you hard but this isnt about how hard you hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. The master have failed more times than the coward have even tried.

 

I might add, for anyone having difficulty with math, look up the Khan Academy online. They have lots of great Youtube videos about just about everything to do with math, and even a few other subjects. It's all free!

 

PMO affected my education but not that severe you mentioned. Now i am more focused on my inner curiosity. But i am worst at Math.

 

I also suffered from this addiction for a long time. One day I found a video in YouTube tittled "Why you should stop masterbation." This was the Video that changed my Life. In the video, I knew about Testesterone (A vital hormone for men. It is produced in the in our balls.) Which is thrown away in plenty during MO.
As Men, we need testesterone for;
•Sharp memory
•Strong mind and brain
•Muscle formation
•Fat metabolism
•Less anxiety and Calmness
•Confidence
•High self-esteem
•Healthy growth of hair
•Strong bone formation
•General happiness
•Motivation

As you can see, we are throwing away all we need to be as Men. Weak memory and mind is absolutely due to overindulging in pmo.

I have since quitted PMO for so long. This is day 179. I am counting hours to celebrate 180 days.
My brain is sharp as never. My social anxiety is gone. I have gained motivation in academic excellence in my studies. Watch out for my 180 day thread. QUIT PMO AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU.

 

Wow! did not that information before. Now i am more motivated to quit PMO. @Olibob, dude take a look here.

 

I am at the same spot you are at now. I managed to stop for 5 days and relapsed. Boy it hurt so badly that I have been crying for the whole day. First time in my life I have realised my life is a desert. Nothing nice in it but a little island call my daughter. Do you want your life to be like it is now for the next 30 years? It will if you do not succeed. It is far better to try and fail than not to try at all. Go for it.

 

Thanks Yousuf

 

Haha, you took the words from my mouth! I'm the same situation as OP and I know what to do yet I do not do it? How come we are humans and have free will, but we intentionally do actions that will set our progress back even when we know they are bad for us and can be totally avoided. This has always puzzled me, are we not rational beings. I've listened alot of psychology books explaining how hard it is to get out of the comfort zone and etc. And I HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE. Yet knowing is different than doing - today yet another relapse. The true master is the one who gets knowledgeable and applies that knowledge to his life by knowing himself.

 

Yep. Knowledge means nothing if not applied. Applied knowledge is the definition of Wisdom.

The wise learns by observing the mistakes of others, the fool learns by experience, the harsh teacher, but a fool learns from no other.

The impediments to wisdom are the appetites and instincts of the body, for the most part. If the brain can get control of the animal, you've got half of the problem down.

 

I went through the same road in university. I somehow made it through. It took me 6 years to finish a course that most students finish in 4 years. I PMO'd compulsively, especially during exams, sometimes up to 5-7 times a day. I have been masturbating since I was a child as far as I remember. I will be 40 years old this year and the habit has gotten worse, especially when life throws you those curve balls (economy, job issues, financial and family issues). I have seen a psychologist and I discovered that my anxiety levels can get out of control quite easily. I do not think, I suffer from any major health issues and from reading your post, I would think your physiology would be similar to mine. I would advise you to work with a psychologist who can bring your challenges to the forefront and then discuss them objectively with you. You may have challenges around anxiety, impulses and urges just like me. As far as I know all of these can be managed and there are methods and medications (if you choose to use them) out there. I also know that I will be better off without PMO, so I am making an effort to get to that destination. You can do it!

 

dude, you are obviously still young - so here is my advice:

GET VERY SERIOUS ABOUT NOFAP!

1. educate yourself, become an expert -read articles, watch youtube videos, there are tons of brilliant pieces on the web nowadays
2. cold turkey - suffer now who cares
3. cold shower
4. exercise
5. become spiritual
6. become a teacher , inspire others
7. watch star wars (kidding, .. not)
8. study comedy, be positive
9. come to the website daily and contribute
10. BECOME THE MAN YOU SHOULD BE

 

NoFap is your only chance. It is THE ONLY cure. You either do it or watch your other 40 years to be spent in bad health. Put up with your pain. It is either 6 months of difficulties now or problems for the rest of your life. Get the grip. Others did it so can you.

 

Nice post

 

From someone who has been there and done that.....

I did horrible in college, I gave almost no effort and learned very little.... I still got a 3.3, which I don't know if that means I'm smart or that school was easy or what........

But either way I did not do as well as I could have. After several years distance, I realized that I had no real friends and no real social connections. Part of that was me and part was the environment. I had a very sad college experience. And after college too for that fact. Maybe you're doing the same thing.... Maybe you're socially isolated and taking out your feelings on PMO. I know when I feel connected with people my urge to PMO is nil. But when I'm alone it's very hard to control. Very hard, I can figure out a way to get past most blockers. Figure out a way to not bo socially isolated. Do things that you think are cool and find other people who want to do them. You don't have to follow the crowd and do something only because everyone else is doing it.

I did that with alcohol.. I liked drinking, but not as much as the crowd I was with. I also did other things because they were cool and not because I liked them. (they ranged from benign to slightly destructive). So this PMO journey is also about finding out about yourself. You need other people, but you don't need to rely on a specific person or specific group.

 

It takes a bit more than just willpower... It takes knowledge and help from others at times. But good post