Girls: should you make effort to find them?

there is no destiny girl, if you don't make effort you'll be subjugated to masturbatory loneliness. no woman is going to fall from the sky magically you have to work for it

 

If you wait, you could wait forever.

If you make the effort, you're always one step closer to finding someone right for you.

 

from experience, sitting and doing my thing hasn't made me have "dates" at least. there was always a mix of attraction, me asking the girl, the girl being "open" about it (meaning there was no obvious reason for her not to hangout with me). that's how far i've been in a relationship. have a good day.

 

That's a good question. Even me having some answers about your questions, sometimes I still fall in your same doubt.

First, there is no a special girl that's waiting to find you. She does not exist. What exists is a woman, who has a lot of defects and qualities, and a girl with a mood that fits with yours. That's what I'm pretty sure. Which means, there is no a special Disney princess waiting to find me, me and only me, and I'm still single because I haven't found this only one yet. This does not exist.

I would go as silex_jedi said. And this means to say that I'm taking care of myself, and seeking to growth personally and externaly, using good clothes, using a good perfume, hanging out in new environments, trying to meet new people, having new friends, going to the hobbies I like, seeking to travel to know new places and cultures (and it doesn't necessarily mean traveling to a new country), seeking to be or become more sociable and so on... And in any moment, there will be a girl that I will be attracted to, and probably she will be attracted to me, and I will talk to her, we will try to talk openly, there will be a good vibe, and I will feel if this friendship is only a friendship (which means the girl is only being kind) or if she is attracted sexually to who I am.

Other advice I would say to you with my experience: if a girl wants something with you, and if she is really attracted to you, she will find a way to show it to you. I experienced it, but in those moments I was not really attracted to the girls. Maybe I should have been opened to those girls? Yes, but it was another moment in my life.

And the opposite is true: if we men are attracted to a girl, we will find a way to show it to her. But this feeling should be at least reciprocal. As to say, do not show openly you felt in love to some specific girl. You can demonstrate in some way that you are attracted to some girl, you can have a friend who can help you show her you are attracted to her, but if she is not demonstrating any reciprocal feeling, pass the turn.

And you need to be wise to identify if a girl wants to talk to you because she is being kind or because she is attracted to you.

I would go this way.

Sometimes (and I include myself here) we feel like talking to girls is a complex stuff, you need to know how to chat with them, you need to read a lot of books to know precisely how to approach a girl, if you talk this way she will like, if you talk another way, she will refuse you, and I'm increasingly thinking that this is only BS. It seems sometimes that approaching a girl is something like defusing a bomb... kk And it is not.

 

There is no success without effort. You want to successfully get a girl? Then go out there, find one, talk to one, build a connection. If she rejects you? Fine. Move on and forget. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Keep going until you found the one for you. Yes that one. The one that says "yes, I'll be yours."

 

If that's what makes you happy, then sure.

I remember reading this guy's blog and he basically travels around the world talking to girls, with limited success. It makes for depressing reading actually. Tbh I read things like that and it makes me question how the hell billions of other people manage to jump from one relationship to another. Clearly for some it takes more effort than for others.

 

Instead of spending time and possibly material resources looking for a good mate, I think your time is better spent in making yourself into a better mate. You can work out and dress well and look for better jobs with more responsibility (and higher pay), but most importantly, you need to be a good conversationalist. If you can persuade any person, male or female, to open up to you, and listen to them and ask questions that make them feel interesting and valued, you’ll never be lonely.

 

I think you should make an effort. Otherwise, your going to be a lonely adult. But, people only care if your attractive and not socially awkward, so there’s that.

 

I like to believe in destiny, but you got to do your part too. I was never really into cold-approaching women, but I think you have to make an effort to be social in general. I've said this before too on this site, most of my married friends met their spouses at a social event or work. Don't know anyone who married someone that they randomly approached at the gym.

 

or this haha