New member, looking for help

Hello everybody,

I am new to NoFap. I am 29 years old. I joined after stumbling upon some yt videos with lectures about porn addiction. In the back of my head, I knew for a long time that it's probably not very healthy, but I kept on rationalizing my behaviour. I am starting to understand how my brain has been tricked into believing why it's necessary for the survival of my genes. I don't think it's going to be easy; I need to stop taking the path of least resistance.

Right now, I am depressed a lot. I isolate myself, and have self esteem issues. Basically, a lot of the things I heard other people with this addiction have reported. Reading the stories of their recovery gives me hope that I can also improve the way I feel, and start to enjoy living again.

So far, here's what I did:

- I have configured my computer to use an openDNS server. Porn is now blocked from my computer.
- I have deleted all porn from my cell phone
- I am planning to get pleaser out of normal pleasurable things, like working out, and spending more time enjoying hobbies.

I did not remove any porn on my HD's just yet. I did that a couple of years ago, and ended up regretting it when I relapsed. Something inside of me doesn't want to let go. It's not like I can access it very easily, because I have to type in a rather long password to access it. I am thinking about changing the password to some randomly generated password, and storing that on a USB-stick that I can give to a friend while I take the 90 day challenge.

I think the hardest part is going to be the cravings. They usually start with flashbacks.

If any of you can give me some tips, and share some experiences that would be great. Also, I think it would be great if I can connect to somebody who is in the same boat, so if someone out there wants to chat, send me a PM.

 

Yeah knew somebody was going to say that to me. Bear in mind that the plan is not only to password protect it (it already is), but also to give the password to a friend. When I take the variable of porn out of my life for 90 days, I can do it as an experiment. And if I don't like the results, it can be comfortable to know I can go back to my old habits without much trouble.

 

First of all: Thanks to all of you who responded. It's great to know that there are some other dudes who actually care.

This morning I woke up with mixed feelings. Like... Really? Did I sign up for that NoFap thing? I don't know if I can do this... But I know I have to do this.

Yeah, the flashbacks can be quite strong. So far what I have been trying is to associate these images with 'bad' things. Association is something I also use for remembering names, and memorizing information. It's about making strong connections in the brain. So far, it seems to help. But I have a long way to go. It helps a lot to read from people who succesfully quit.

Yeah.. Something inside me just doesn't want to let go just like that. Like I said, I first want to see how long of a streak I can do.

I wish more people would start hating me for it .

Thanks again for caring, everybody! It's great to know that I am not alone.

 

I did it!

No, relax, I didn't relapse. I gave the USB stick with the keys to my encrypted collection away to a good friend. I told her to keep it for 90 days. There is now no way for me to access it.

I have mixed feelings, but I am very curious to see how not watching porn will change me.

The girl I gave the USB stick to was puzzled, because I didn't tell her what it's about. She wrote the date in her agenda. She's a good friend, and I have talked about some of my problems with her before. She doesn't know about my addiction to pornography, though. I am very curious if she can figure it out. I'll probably tell her some day.

She started guessing, that maybe I made some prediction, and wanted to prove to her I predicted something before an event. It was quite hilarious .

I've also joined a whatsapp group, and found some guys to chat with. It's great to be able to chat with some of you in real time.

So everybody: Thanks for the support, and good luck reaching your goals!