Diary! Dose is work?

Wow. Sorry to hear that you came across a P ad.

P ads are very unusual. I haven't recently seen any P ads that I'm aware of. The worst I've seen is dating website ads or "Meet This Woman" ads.

Back in my younger days, I think I'd get popups and ads that were pornographic. The internet was just starting to have images and videos. Maybe there wasn't much regulation, restriction, or knowledge on controlling such online content and popups. But I was also a kid, so I myself didnt know many ways to stop the popups, even if adults knew ways.

Nowadays I hear that some websites track cookies or collect your browser history information. Like if I was looking for a printer on Amazon, but then leave Amazon and go on another website, sometimes I will see an advertisement for printers. If you recently watched P, then you might get P ads.

Also if you are online at night, I think some websites will show P ads. I've seen some disturbing ads at night back when I wasn't blocking images on my browser. Nowadays, I have all images blocked when I browse the internet.

 

If you have been tempted by some form of P but you have not indulged in PMO, you are still on the path to freedom.

In my opinion, you need not reset your counter unless of course your goal is not to stare at temptation (not a bad idea). Everyone, bar none, is tempted. It is by resisting temptation that we cultivate our relationship with Our Loving Father. Sounds like to me you are still doing a good job in this respect. Also, your determination to avoid temptation is a wise one. This is an insidious sin and we need to flee from it by immediately averting our eyes but it seems to me that you know this, so once again, well done.

Praying for a true soul mate is another good practice. I did this and I was rewarded with a wonderful partner who has stood by me, grown with me and remains with me. However, when I first met her, she was not what I had in mind. I didn't immediately see how beautiful she is, and she has only become more beautiful. How foolish I was! So, at the same time, we must be patient. Our desires are not necessarily God's plan and it can be hard to accept but God's plans are always better than ours. God will answer your prayers but recognize His answer will always be better and probably somewhat different than what you had in mind.

Keep up the good work. May God bless you today. Please pray for all of us here.

 

Don't be afraid of the concern about finding your purpose. With very few exceptions, I am sure we have all wrestled with this question. St. Therese of Lisieux can help you find the answer. Read her story about her little way and I feel certain you will be inspired to a new understanding of your purpose in life. Your purpose is undoubtedly a call to holiness/sainthood but as St. Therese found, such greatness is achieved through a commitment to doing little things with a heart totally focused on the Lord. I hope you read her story "My Little Way", it is truly inspirational. May God bless you today and everyday!

 

Sounds a bit like Brother Lawrence and his "practice of the presence of God."

 

There are some days where I believe we must say to ourselves, I choose to believe. It seems that God allowed many great saints to feel a "dry spell" where their hearts did not feel the fire of the holy spirit. Those great saints chose to remain faithful and determined to love Jesus with all of their heart. Ultimately, they were each rewarded with an even greater burning of God's love in their hearts. If you feel you aren't making progress in your relationship with God, consider that He is using this period to build your faith and determination. We aren't made aware of how long such a time may be but never has it been known that faith in God wasn't rewarded with a renewed passion for Christ.

 

You have many areas of your life that are unyielded to God. You have many things you have already decided, in your own wisdom, that you will not do in recovery. As long as you remain only half-hearted as a disciple, you will not break through into the peace and rest of the Kingdom. We must be all-in, committed 100%. There is no other way to be a disciple.

 

Yes, I thought the same thing. What a great little book.

 

Now more than ever, pray. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you see the true consequences of your choice. What did you get from it? Hollow satisfaction? Shame? Brain pollution? You fell, you are human but you can fall foward by learning from this choice.

 

Run away from whatever it causing you temptation. There's nothing that way but pain and death.

 

Certainly, you are in my prayers! May this latest slipup be your very last! May Our Precious Lord inspire you to see what led to this and provide you with the means to lead you away from it. Lastly, O Lord, please inspire this good man to grasp the life ring you will undoubtedly throw his way.

I know you have thought about this so I only offer it here as reinforcement and reminder. Now is the time to run to Christ and bare you soul to Him. Admit your weakness in all of its gory details and admit you don't have the strength to fight it alone. Pray to Our Lord to take up the fight for you and keep praying! I will keep praying for you too.

 

When you slip, what are the specifics behind it? What exactly happens within you that make the sin appealing?

Are you trying to fight this on your own and in your own strength? Or are you leaning on Christ to carry you through every battle?