The Lord of the Rings Challenge

13 days

 

You put a lot of pressure on yourself bro. Is it really helping? You might need to just slowly make little improvements. Even 10 mins less wasted a day adds up over time.

 

Hmm I also have a similar feeling feeling but after covid our academic years have been shortened and I pretty much have exams for the rest of the next two -three months (everything is quite crammed up so that we can go back to the normal schedule by the next semester).

So I think its is really essential to bring up the results quickly but I am not able to bring it as I took too much time to adjust with my new college environment. So I am in a quite difficult fix I need to improve my standards in a short span of time but I panic ,and just the thought of studying itself seems to be a herculean task. Back when I used to Pmo , PMO used to give me the temporary sense of relief to my anxiety and I was able to study something . But as I have quit PMO , when I anxious I end up wasting so much time .

I can study actually pretty well but it only when I have to bring out good results in a short span of time comes the problem.

 

1 day
yesterday I was helping friends to move. Usually I'm one of the stronger guys but this time I felt incredibly weak, even dropped something. I believe it was because of my binge on friday.

Having some technical problems. Counter not working since weeks and now I have problems marking texts and the website is quite slow.

 

Check in day 48

 

Day 4

 

Revising the addiction cycle from freedomfight:

• Fantasy
  • Huge amount of time spent on this
  • Becoming preoccupied with these thoughts releases a mental dopamine high to escape the discomfort and pain of life e.g. having to present to senior management
  • this mental arousal blots out reality
• Routine
  • Plan how I will act out - having concrete thoughts about what I'll fish for , usually something "benign" to begin with
• Fishing
  • This is simply feeding lust monster in my head
• Acting Out
  • intense dopamine hit
• Excess guilt and shame
  • back to stage 1 to avoid the pain I just created for myself instead of using guilt & shame as it is designed to be used to avoid making the same mistake again

Stopping the behavoiur is only the tip of the iceberg. Easiest is to stop is at stage 1
using Brace. Brace strikes at the heart of the addiction cycle dropping me out of my head into my body

Discover ur routines and put up blockers & healthy boundaries which are more strict at the beginning but essential. No phone in bed - zero tolerance for fishing - reset counter if I fish.

 

Weekly checkin
Double bind at the moment is trying to find the balance between rest (too much of which leads to lust) and speeding up / not stopping (which leads to exhaustion burn out and relapse). Also need to be extra vigilant now of becoming over confident and even more vigilant of natural dopamine hits which are coming back e.g. the star studded sky last night. I will learn to be satisfied with the limited nature of these hits rather than seeking more and more. I've also now really started to tackle procrastination as the desire for new goals arises. A big mistake for me here in the past has been not following the urge to tackle new goals and so this energy going stale and becoming food for lust instead, so I will use this energy to finally kill procrastination once and for all.

 

Day 17.

It was quite a nice morning. Sunny and snowy. As usual went for a walk and to church.

I would like to study today. For compensation. But the thing is in my teenage and even some adult years I used to first relieve pmo tension and only then go to study or work or whatever without much problem. But now I don't have pmo, so it's very uncomfortable to start with that tension. It was easier with office job in this sense.

But whatever... Speaking about no pmo, I have to do, what I have to do. I am abstaining anyway. No overthinking.

Have a nice Sunday!

Spoiler: Journey stuff

Hard mode + no shutting blockers down - day 17.
No coffee - day 17.

 

Day 7
I need to focus more during my chemistry lectures instead of gossiping with friends. And I will implement this thing from tomorrow. Had a few urges here and there but they went away easily. I feel like god is with me this time because every time I am about to go back and search some bad stuff, I am interrupted by something which takes away my attention and thus the day is save. If god is with me like this every time then it is even possible for me to go a full year on no PMO. I will also start transmutation of this energy from tomorrow, most probably in my studies. Which will make me top the class this year and help me get into my dream college.
Good luck my friends and may god be with you.

 

Day 207
Another busy week is going to start. Get ready brothers.

I think brother study with some 1 or 2 friends helps to study fast and reduce the anxiety. I also work with my sister. Or If you are attending to lectures via online, I know study group is not feasible. I have another solution for it. In youtube some streamers do study with me live sessions. You can attend it free. I think brother this information will help you. But brother these are depended on What university that you are studying like If you are in Ivy league college sometimes these ideas may not work. You can ask some information from senior.
Good luck

 

Study grp sounds good but none of my friends live close by, so that's difficult , I am planning to join the state library and spent more time there
.

 

Checking in Fellowship Friends!

131 Days Free of PMO.

Feeling empty, brain fog, unmotivated and fatigue although I slept a more than adequate amount of hours. This is the next part of my challenge, I'm trying to remind myself that this is just a temporary feeling and there will be better days.

I'm going to be taking a deload week from the gym and I'm going to do my own type of "dopamine detox" challenge. Work days, I will not spend any time watching TV. On my weekends it will be limited to 1 hour the first day and 30 mins the second.

One day I will be free of this feeling for good, the limitations will no longer plague me...I look forward to that day. I rest for the day.

Stay strong!

 

@breaking-myths I feel for you. The urges tend to get strong under pressure.

Anyway to all it concerns I think I am going to have to change something. I can feel that I need to stop with the "day 1, day 2" kinda stuff for awhile. Something is really wrong with me, but I don't understand where it's coming from.

I tossed and turned all night, getting literally zero sleep just fantasizing and worrying. I will use this opportunity to get on an earlier sleep schedule again since I will probably need to go to bed really early now.

I will just post more casually for now, but still attempting to build a streak again. My mental health has been declining a lot again, that is for sure.

 

0 days, relapsed yesterday at nigth
At least was MO and not PMO. My trigger was loneliness and a sexy photo from instagram. I was really really horny at nigth so the urges got me.
But again here wanting to continue figthing.
Keep strong my brothers.

 

11/19 2022 completed

day 5 - no O
day 5 - No M & self stimulation
day 5 - No P / Psub / addiction-induced arousal

 

When your thoughts and urges are getting to you, my advice is to jump in the cold shower, let the water cool your crotch, and just let the thoughts run it's course. This has helped me for the last couple days.

 

Day 20

Thoughts: 1/5
Urges: 1/5

Got in some extra sleep and took care of a few things today; though I think I may slept too long, because my brain felt pretty sluggish for half the day. I am thinking of taking journaling more seriously, my physical energy does feel like it's improving, I still feel little lethargic at times, but that's becoming less frequent as I go further on my streak; but my mental energy (and discipline for that matter) still leaves much to be desired, like today I was going to go under my house and get things ready for winter, but I just couldn't be arsed to do it, plus having claustrophobia and allergies doesn't help either; anyways, I thought decluttering my mind would help things, I don't expect it to improve after just a few entries, but at this point I'm willing to try anything.

 

Day 14

 

14 days