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Small peins and premature ejaculation

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Qzmp1, Nov 24, 2022.

  1. Qzmp1

    Qzmp1 Fapstronaut

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    Hi, I'm 34 married man with a small penis and a premature ejaculation problem. I've been watching porn from the age of 13 and always felt I'm a beta compered to all these guys. Due to the fact I have a small penis and premature problem I can't see myself as an alpha.
    Eventually it got worst and I got to the point I admire alpha men, big guys, big dicks, guys that can satisfy a woman. Got to the point I met mith other men even though I consider myself str8.
    Idk how to stop this, how do I not feel that way? Every time I look at my penis I think of a real man big cock and how much better real men are in bed.
    Anyone else have similar struggles or advice?
     
    Tiny Brat, +TenPercent and Hard Mode like this.
  2. Hard Mode

    Hard Mode Fapstronaut

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    Hey, Bro. You are not alone in that struggle. I have chatted with several smaller guys here who feel like you. Send me a PM if you think I can help.
     
  3. The only person’s opinion that matters is your wife. Is she disappointed? I think your porn addiction has skewed your reality and your priorities. Obsessing about penis size is going to only make you miserable and feel inadequate. I haven’t thought twice about my penis size. It’s probably on the small end, but the reality is that when sex is about love instead of lust, you don’t have shallow views of your physical characteristics or those of your spouse. Those things don’t matter. You only focus on each other. Fantasizing about other men’s penis size is only going to lead you to PMO. If you can stop your PMO addiction, you can reset your expectations so that they are more realistic. Just be grateful that you have a penis and don’t compare yourself to others.

    My advice for you regarding premature ejaculation - have sex more often. Or seek the advice of a therapist.

    I know that I may be oversimplifying things, but think about where your penis size expectations are coming from - probably from the porn you have watched. In reality, women don’t need a giant penis to feel pleasure, those porn videos aren’t a representation of reality. Most people don’t have huge a penis. You may want to speak with a sex therapist.
     
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2022
  4. Jeremiah4friends

    Jeremiah4friends Fapstronaut

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    Hey man. Not sure if I'll be able to help, but I'm open to trying. Talking with someone who doesn't have any size issues might be helpful to you. Hit my DM if you'd like to chat.

     
    stepitup likes this.
  5. Wave tamer

    Wave tamer Fapstronaut

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    Worrying about your dick will lead to premature ejac! Yea those porn dudes are huge mate, some will have had surgery and the rest are in the top 1% plus they pump and boner pills before shoots. It’s better to beat it mentally but if you’re determined and willing to put the work in: Get a penimaster pro, bath mate and a decent squeezing cock ring after a lot of dedication you could add an inch and some good girth. Stop that porn though. Train and positive affirmations. Us men are more bothered about our size than women. They know we’re obsessed with our toys so like that power over us. But if you’re too big for them they soon start complaining and can only do missionary. It’s actually really annoying and I’m miles off those big porn dudes.
     
    Tiny Brat and BrSweat like this.
  6. Qzmp1

    Qzmp1 Fapstronaut

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    Anyone else have a PE life long problem? Or used to have and managed to change it?
    I'm Cumming within seconds and I feel like I have to change it in order to feel more like a men.
     
  7. Wave tamer

    Wave tamer Fapstronaut

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    Yea it can be over come with a bit of practise. It’s very distressing at the time but not really that bigger deal. Do you have a girlfriend?
     
    Tiny Brat likes this.
  8. Qzmp1

    Qzmp1 Fapstronaut

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    I'm married, and still cum within 5 sec.
    Especially now that I'm not jo
     
    Tiny Brat likes this.
  9. Wave tamer

    Wave tamer Fapstronaut

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    Ok I’ve had the same issues and it’s annoying to deal with at the time but will make you a better lover once you master it, with some work you’ll be banging away for as long as you want.
    Our penises seem to do the opposite of what we want from them: Please don’t shrivel up, what happens? please don’t go soft, what happens? Please don’t cum….Our daft ego doesn’t want to look a pussy so gives us a load of shit and pressure to preform like a MAN! Loads of men cum pretty quick especially in their 20s and your mrs obviously still fancies you or she wouldnt be with you. So stop stressing yourself out and give yourself a bit of encouragement, you can also say to your mrs you’ve got yourself in a bit of a mental rut and need a bit of patience and a hand taking it steady. Tell her you find her really hot and you get a bit too excited and to work with you a bit getting things going.( They hate it and take it really personal when you can’t cum so I imagine this is a compliment! But obviously don’t worship her too much lol.) Expect baby steps and big yourself up that you did better than the last time. Watch some vids on how to eat out and foreplay and get into that. Have a go penetrating but don’t listen to that bullshit voice in your head panicking, instead take a big inhale through your nose fill your lungs and slowly let it out through your nose. They do this in yoga and it gets your heart rate down and calms your mind. (Practise this on your own as much as possible and a few affirmations saying you’ve got this dude don’t worry mate) I find doggy better if I’m close, as can look away from the woman that’s making me want to bust and become present concentrating on my breathing. If it gets too much go back to licking her muff and ask her to rub herself and get herself off. Or change position to have a little break, or just have a little break and a drink there’s no set rules. A good one while you’re changing position etc is to pinch your helmet between your thumb and forefinger and give it a bit of a squeeze; doctors recommend this. It pretty much resets you. I will say sometimes I feel like I’m ready to explode already, it takes the performance pressure off and remember your dick does the opposite. Get present and get into the sex rather than your own nagging mind telling you your not good enough etc. Loads of training and cardio will help with stamina and give you that manly confidence as well as looking better. Get into the breathing habit when training. You know that hiss through the teeth people make when they breath out whilst pushing the weights bar up. I find doing that when I feel close to cumming let’s off that steam and gets me in training mode. I guess you could jelq a bit on
    your own and get used to breathing and touching yourself, trying the pinch technique . ( Don’t watch porn and edge though) those porn dudes make all men feel insecure.) Cock rings apparently help with holding it back and give more girth. You’ve got this mate and it’s very common so don’t stress.
     
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  10. Qzmp1

    Qzmp1 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the advice, I will give it a try.
    I do feel like it's almost biological for me, I get hard in a sec if a girl just touch me, I feel like I'm going to cum the second I go in, so I feel like I don't have a lot to work with, cause I cum instantly
     
    Tiny Brat, Jeff_444 and +TenPercent like this.
  11. Wave tamer

    Wave tamer Fapstronaut

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    That’s good and healthy to be able to get in the mood straight away. It’s rubbish when you can’t get hard. Give it a go. But if you need an extra hand getting going I’ve used a trama dol tablet, check with your doctor first they slow you down. once you feel you’re making improvements and getting the hang of it you’ll mentally not need it . It’s basically your brain remembering you did it last time and saying I hope I don’t cum, I hope I don’t cum and all the anxiety makes you cum. What if you had a via grar and knocked one out before the session. So you’re still hard but less potent and still apply the other techniques. Honestly once you’ve starting getting the hang of it you realise it’s not as bigger deal as it feels for you now. I miss wrestling with the urge to cum in an intense Fk, it’s what makes it really exciting. They don’t want some numb dic banging away on them for hours with no passion so it’s just the case of taming that beast
     
    Tiny Brat, Jeff_444 and Qzmp1 like this.
  12. Qzmp1

    Qzmp1 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man, I appreciate it
     
    Tiny Brat and Peaceful magic 21 like this.
  13. Changeforthebest

    Changeforthebest Fapstronaut

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    I have that problem too… I have a good penis size but I still want it to be bigger sometimes. But tbh I want a healthy and strong… I want us to merge like we use to……. I cum quick sometimes too and take about 2 hours to get back in the mood…now I have to start afresh with the fear that I’m still gonna cum quick, not quicker than the first time but still quick cos I’m suppose to let my girl finish first….. that’s hard to deal with…… ….. i want it to stop so bad…. … sometimes after I cum I leave the room cos l know I won’t be able to continue. …. Even if we try oral, I’ll be soft and shy cos of it…. My penis strength is weak
     
  14. BrSweat

    BrSweat Fapstronaut

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    As long as you don't have a micro penis you're good. Porn ruined your perception, size dosent matter to women as much as we men think it does.

    How do you think lesbian couples have orgasms? No penetrative sex there, just something to think about ya know
     
  15. This really is a double whammy.

    Though I might not have it quite as bad as you do (4 1/2 inches fully erect and my PE is more periodic).

    I think the more I worry about PE, the more likely it is to happen. It’s hard to know which is worse sometimes, but probably PE.

    I just had sex with my girlfriend this weekend and didn’t last a full minute. She was okay with it, sort of. But I fear that it could easily get worse.
     
    Tiny Brat likes this.
  16. Skyman95

    Skyman95 Fapstronaut

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    Every guy has premature ejactualtion. porn gives us a really messed up idea about how long men last. The men in porn, when they get close to cumming the can cut the camera and wait until the feeling dies down then start up again.
    you don’t get to see that part.
    If a girl is riding a man like a pornstar she can get him to cum instantly. We can’t keep comparing ourselves to these actors and movies. (That isn’t really his stepsister you know what I mean? )

    You’re allowed to have any desire you want. If you think it’s hot when someone hangs your wife or if your wife watches you get banged by a man. That’s okay I think you can accept that HOWEVER, if you are sad about these feelings, and feel these feelings are because of porn then you can make the changes in your life to be better. I believe in you and Us.
     
  17. Wave tamer

    Wave tamer Fapstronaut

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    Porn stars are banging away on hotties daily so it becomes pretty normal plus there’s a lot of blow on the scene which stops you from cumming. But once you don’t worry about pe and get a good run and your brain just assumes you’ll last, you do whether they’re super hot or not. If every time you have sex all you think is: I better preform well, hope I don’t cum too quick, oh good that feels nice, oh shit… Sorry! Deep controlled breaths through your nose and the odd pinch of the helmet trust me you can tame it, own the shit and tell yourself you’re the man and get into the sex rather than being in your head. F it if you cum do it again half an hour later it’s not really a big deal. Just laugh about it and tell them they’re getting you really aroused! It’s not a crime and women are probably more impressed if you handle having a quick performance and still keep it fun and sexy ( not awkwardly sitting at the end of the bed with your head in your hands!) Make them a cup of tea or something and tell them you’re going to smash them in 30 min!
     
  18. Wave tamer

    Wave tamer Fapstronaut

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    I’ve had it a load of times over my life. And have got back in the drivers seat. Speak to your mrs about it that it’s pissing you off, use that fire to get passionate not beat yourself up. It’s not a silent competition between men and women. Especially in a relationship. Surely it’s about connection and enjoying the moment. Communicate with each other. Dont worry about how many minutes you’ve lasted! sometimes quickies are better and long jobs get boring. Get it intense and passionate and if you’re about to bust take it out and ask her to Finnish herself or learn some g spot or oral action. Most women only cum from clit stimulation rather than penetration. Some are a nightmare to get off. Some can’t cum or even get themselves off because they’re too self conscious. So we’re not the only ones worrying.
     
    Jeff_444 likes this.
  19. Daggertail19

    Daggertail19 Fapstronaut

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    You are a real man. Bigger sizes do not make you more of a man by any means.

    upload_2022-12-13_13-56-58.png

    No mention of bigger sizes^

    There is more than one way to satisfy a woman. It does not need to be through penetration.

    P distorts our perception of this, making us think bigger sizes satisfy women. Also not true, in fact, you can find countless interviews of real P stars agreeing with this. It is all about preference.

    I hate to go here, but I am well off and always thought I was satisfying women throughout my life. Until I was told otherwise, which shot me down the rabbit hole of asking women if it feels good. I have been told by several women that it does not if I go too hard, which I thought is what women like because of P.

    I hope this helps in some way, I am sorry you are feeling this way. Try to change your internal dialogue. When that voice tells you that you are not a real man, fight it. Reinforce the true meaning of a man, which you can research yourself.

    Good luck.
     
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2022
  20. Long Range

    Long Range Fapstronaut

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    You really need to work on lasting longer. Here is what you need to do.

    First of all, you need to work on your T levels so that you can stay hard without concentrating too much of the sex act; abstaining from porn will help greatly too of course. Then when you are having sex, like all guys, you want to be able to give it to her as hard as possible without ejaculating yourself until after she has came a few times. Start off slowly and gradually build momentum, when you start to feel like you might lose control, back off a little bit think about something non-sexual, like baseball or work, and look away too if needed.
     
    Toni7, +TenPercent and Jeff_444 like this.

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