Starting small?

Yeah bro I totally agree with your statement small progress can make you win for sure you will win if you make small progress just you need to be consistence on small progresses if you aim for higher which look like unattainable so you will fall on this trap again and again and again and again but if you contribute by small numbers for you can achieve a greater number for sure bro so and bro can you please tell me what is the meaning behind cold Turkey I hear from so many people brother

 

Just start with no porn but allow masturbation. When you succeed doing that for a few months try no PMO for a next level improvement. And educate yourself!

 

I'm not in favor of counting days and bragging about a long streak because in my opinion it's not like you can go 90 days PMO free and suddenly you are cured. I am in favor of setting a day to reach and make it an obtainable goal. For example I relapsed several times in November so I said it was time to get serious again about no PMO so on December 1st, I set my goal to reach Monday without PMO. On Monday morning I woke up and set my goal for Thursday. So far so good. For me personally these shorter goals work better because they seem a lot more obtainable and easier to focus on. And i know if i keep hitting these goals I will not be PMOing, and over time the goals will get progressively longer.

 

whatever works for you man!

I must say that 1: I like having a support group that I need to "report my progress" to and 2: It really motivates me a lot during the day. As soon as I have even the slightest of urge now I think of the forum and the commitment I've made and that I want to share and be part of this struggle together. Before it was: "Only me who is doing this, so what?" I know you should always do improvements for yourself, but I must admit this forum as a mean to support it is darn helpful and fun!

 

Small wins collectively make a huge victory, you can join others on the same journey -
https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/100-days-nofap-challenge.339927/

 

W username

 

You're right. I made it to 90, many small steps were improved, but when I went back to porn things were similar to what happened before. Aiming high still works for me, but for other people use the method that works best for you.

 

The main problem with this strategy is that you end up counting down the days until your next relapse, meaning you are effectively living in a constant withdrawal loop. When the day finally comes you are craving it so much that the hit you get when you go back is even greater than normal, this only serves to reinforce and strengthen the addiction. This is where habits and addictions differ. The less you do a particularly habit, the more accustomed you become to not doing it, until eventually you just stop doing it anymore. Addictions don't work that way. The less you do it, the more you want it again, the only way out of addiction is to starve it completely.

You are welcome to try but I'm yet to see anyone successfully quit this way.

 

On the one hand I like the idea. When I look back on other things I've cut out from my life, making small steps has worked wonders. I used to have 4 teaspoons of sugar in my coffee, 4 cups a day. Over a year I weaned myself off by reducing it half a teaspoon at a time. Same with food portions, just cutting bit by bit.

However, porn is way more addictive and more challenging. When cutting back sugar in my coffee I only had to think about it 4 times a day. But healing from porn requires the whole day, because porn has taken over how my mind operates and thinks. I need to think about what I'm doing with my time, what I'm thinking about, how I'm feeling, sleeping, eating.

And porn is far more destructive than sugary coffees. It requires a deeper, harder effort.

I have the lofty goal of being pm free the rest of my life (orgasm within sex is good).

But I break this down into smaller chunks so that it is manageable. I focus on today.

I aim to be free from porn today.
I ask questions about what today might look like, where the temptations might be and how I can fight them.
I ask questions about what today was like, where the temptations were and how I can fight better next time.

It's small, achievable.

Sometimes it means thinking even smaller: what can I do to be porn free in the next two hours when I'm tempted?

I don't like your way of making it small. That is just reordering the habit cycle to make it less frequent. I think it also just lets you give up. What's to say you won't then reduce your porn free days even further?

I think it's better to aim big. Aim to be free. Work toward that.
But take small steps and acknowledge you'll get it wrong.

 

To get rid of the mental cage, a very strong and tough mindset is needed.
Days doesn't matter. What matters is your mindset. Don't get upset because of failure.
Think about how to get yourself up more quickly from failure. This is because in deep down, you know you will get rid of this drug, once and for all.

 

Going cold turkey, for me, only affects you with urges in the first few weeks. After that urges become rare and easy to deal with when they occur. Your overall time wasting from sexual thoughts/masturbation decreases, and this effect can be permanent if you can completely expel porn.