35 and Older Accountability Group

Keep at it dude. Together all the way!

 

Day 5 checking in. I'm feeling quite positive today. Just finished reading a book on digital device addiction called 'Smart Phone, Dumb Phone' and it's definitely quite relatable to porn addiction also. It talks a lot about 'Gaming' addiction, which I don't have, so I just substituted Gaming for Porn whenever it's mentioned. I really recommend the book if anyone is struggling with phone/online addiction also!

Now I've started reading through the NoFap handbook and will move onto some other books on porn addiction. Hopefully all of this will help in someway.

GL everyone

 

If you haven't read this, I'd highly recommend it: https://store.artofmanliness.com/collections/books/products/how-to-quit-porn-ebook

 

Hit Day 30. Finally reached this milestone.

Had a very unfortunate day yesterday. For some reason, Steam decided to put an adult game on my list of Featured games, but I didn't know it was an adult game until I clicked on it. Then, all sorts of bad material just popped onto my screen.

Had a lot of fantasies afterwards, but was never in danger of resetting. Then, just before I went to bed, I found myself on Steam looking for that same game again. I ended up finding it, clicking on the link, then immediately closing it again. It's almost like my brain was on autopilot or something.

The same thing happened to me on my 27 day streak, where this started happening off a random movie that showed up on Netflix recommended, and eventually I was just snatching peeks at porn on a daily basis for a week and a half before finally resetting. I've learnt my lesson, and so this week I will be extra vigilant, and (excluding the slight slip from last night) I will be considering any adult content I actively seek out to be a reset, as it should be.

Expecting to have a very tough next few days, but as long as I don't do anything stupid, I should be able to get through this week and keep the streak going. Yay for Day 30, and Day 60 here I come.

Update: You can stop Steam from showing those games by going to "Store Preferences" under your name in the top-right drop-down, then turning off "Adult Only Sexual Content".

 

Happy 30 days @x_Nocturnalis_x and @livinginhell. Really glad you guys could make it!

 

I have to keep reminding myself that it’s much easier to keep a streak going once it has been established, than to start all over again from scratch. I think if I can remember this, I won’t do anything stupid!

 

Same to you.

 

Purchased, thanks! And congrats on hitting 30 days, you must feel great. Being online is like a minefield sometimes. Everything is going fine until you suddenly come across and article, profile page or game that can almost trigger a relapse. I even use a chatting app with friends that is constantly pushing short videos of triggering material and it drives me crazy. Just seems unavoidable on the internet these days

 

Day 6 checking in.

Does anyone else have a problem with over sexualizing women/people in social settings? I don't know exactly what it's called but something like pornafying women or intrusive thoughts. It's so distracting and makes me feel like I'm going crazy. I'll be out with friends or family and there's someone I find attractive and I just can't concentrate anymore, I'm lost in thought and totally out of the conversation I should be having. Even when I'm with other guy friends they don't seem to pay any interest in whoever it is but I can't stop the intrusive thoughts, which makes me think I'm going even crazier because it seems to bother no one else in my group except me.

If anyone has any help or tips with this it would be appreciated

 

I think a combination of NoFap and practice is probably the best solution to this. But mostly NoFap. You are basically being triggered by the women you're talking to.

 

Congrats dude! Let's hit 60 days together.

 

Thank you. Same to you. Glad that you made it too.

 

Day 31.

Workout day - 24

Had a hard night. But immediately got inspired by seeing the replies here. Let's go!

 

Relapsed 2 days ago, i got bored from trying but on the other hand i can't live while this habit is around

 

Not been good lately. PMO today. So day zero.

 

Thanks very much.

 

check day 7

having wild wings right now

 

Member ranking (as of Sunday, 12/12/22):

1. Alex_AI: 342 days
2. Gazan: 117 days
3. optimistic7: 41 days
4. livinginhell: 30 days
5. x_Nocturnalis_x: 30 days
6. Low Tide High Tide: 30 days
7. Martial: 16 days
8. flyswat: 11 days
9. onefootinfrontoftheother: 10 days
10. MartyMar: 8 days
11. NICEDUDE: 7 days
12. goingforit: 7 days
13. 87Diamond: 7 days
14. JJ_Kino: 6 days
15. CactusLemon: 6 days
16. Bernard O.: 5 days
17. krazzer: 5 days
18. artifact: 1 day
19. Steveal3aneef1: 1 day
20. Wanttosucceed: 1 day

A big shout out to every single one of our 20 HEROES here; keep it up!

"However mean your life is, meet it and live it; do not shun it and call it hard names." - Henry David Thoreau

 

If willpower is truly a limited resource, as the research suggests, what can be done to conserve it?

• "Avoiding temptation" is one effective tactic for maintaining self-control. The “out of sight, out of mind” principle applies to adults, too. One recent study, for instance, found office workers who kept candy in a desk drawer indulged less than when they kept the candy on top of their desks, in plain sight.
• A helpful tactic for improving self-control is a technique called “implementation intention or advance planning.” Usually these intentions take the form of “if-then” statements that help people plan for situations that are likely to foil their resolve. For example, someone who’s avoiding P might tell himself, “If I feel the stress built up that leads to watching P, I will instead go out for a walk within 15 minutes (or whatever suits the situation).” Having a plan in place ahead of time may allow you to make decisions in the moment without having to draw on your willpower.
• Tapping into "High motivation" might help overcome weakened willpower—at least to a point. When one feels low, he can revive the "why" within him and how can exerting willpower will help a cause greater then himself.
• "Regular exercise of self-control" helps; ie. having a plan flexing your willpower muscles can strengthen self-control over time. Regularly exercising willpower in one area, leads to better willpower in nearly all areas of their lives. In research after research, those who had exerted self-control by performing certain exercises (have a plan of action), were less vulnerable to willpower depletion in follow-ups. For example, in a study it was found that smokers who practiced self-control for two weeks by avoiding sweets or regularly squeezing a hand-grip, were more successful at quitting smoking than those who performed two weeks of regular tasks that required no self-control, such as writing in a diary.
• "Eating regularly" to maintain blood-sugar levels in the brain may help refuel run-down willpower stores. (But don’t let the term “sugar” fool you. Healthy meals without refined sugar are actually better than sweets at keeping blood-sugar levels on an even keel, experts say.) Dieters, who are aiming to maintain willpower while cutting calories, might do better eating frequent small meals rather than skipping breakfast or lunch.
• "Focus on only one single goal at a time"; the evidence from willpower-depletion studies also suggests that making a list of resolutions on New Year’s Eve is the worst possible approach. Being depleted in one area can reduce willpower in other spheres. In other words, don’t try to quit smoking, adopt a healthy diet, and start a new exercise plan at the same time. Taking goals one by one is a better approach. Once a good habit is in place, you’ll no longer need to draw on your willpower to maintain the behavior. Eventually healthy habits will become routine, and won’t require making decisions at all.

It seems likely that with clear goals, good self-monitoring, and a little practice, you can train your willpower to stay strong in the face of temptation.

Source: American Psychological Association Article on Willpower
https://www.apa.org/topics/personality/willpower