Accountability for All

Checking in - I have to be careful about my lack of sleep, and the junkie food I ate yesterday, and only look at pretty girls if I approach them.

Motto #1 - Take one day at a time.
Motto #2 - Pornography does not take breaks, nor should I.
Motto #3 - A relapse can be either a learning experience or an excuse to binge.

 

still going strong!

 

Day 106

makes sense to me

we can’t control our thoughts or feelings but we can control our actions

I have all kinds of up and down feelings and thought. But as long as I keep doing the right things I can go achieve good stuff

 

Day 5, starting the week out strong!

 

Day 2

 

Relapsed yesterday at midnight.

 

I relapsed on 08-01-23. Man, my mental health was devasted by this addiction, it`s fucking annoying to deal with it. But last week I talked with 20 or more new people, to break my shyness and improve at dating, so yeah, I crush it. I`ll just keep trying my best and being patient.

 

Day 3

 

I rested today so I’m posting

I’m so sleepy

I need to ice myself

 

Still going strong, getting the streak up to 1 week today!

 

I just created another workout routine, I'll do it as soon as I wake up every day. I bought an e-book with healthy food recipes, and I'll see if I can buy JK's programs from Porn reboot.

I thought I had a tinnitus problem, the ear nose, and throat doctor said the problem was on my jaw, so I went to see a dentist he said there were no problems in my jaw, but the pain in my ears was created by my poor mental health (anxiety, depression, stress, something that is very taxing to me mentally, lack of sleep and so on). It's incredible how porn addiction can fuck you up.

 

That makes since Higor, A relapse can be an excuse to binge if we aren't careful.

Checking in - Had some triggering thoughts but fought them off. It helps that I am super busy right now.

 

I`m dealing the chaser effect, so I have to be really careful. Man, dealing with the withdrawal symptoms is sheer torture.

 

Checking in. What is the chaser effect?

 

Day 110

enh feels weird not posting here so I’m continuing heh gonna take my night pill

I tried out gamifying today. It caused a state of hyperarousal and addictive feeing immediately lasting till I deleted the post.

bleh.

I don’t do well with that stuff never have. It’s kinda hard to stick to what I know and want to do when I’m also very into trying new things.
Once in a while one of those new things sticks and it’s worthwhile

most of the time i just end up tired and having to get rid of that crap I was testing out haha

oh well such is life

I go through ups and downs with my streak. But generally I do feel happy every day that I maintain. I want to get to a year

I’ve been wanting to get to one year for a while now. Like three years or more I’ve been trying at nofap

shoot. Good for me but I just hope I make it.

Then I can be rid of this place and try out life for the first time in a decade without being part of some recovery group

That would be absolutely nuts for me. I wonder what that would be like

weird I guess it’ would be the same but I’d be typing in a journal that only I read or maybe an online journal blog for something else like an mma blog idk

meh doesn’t matter

Thinking about the future doesn’t matter

it’s today and this moment that matters

right now I’ll eat something and finish an episode of anime then read a bit and it’s time to brush teeth and sleep

As I fall asleeep is when I plan out tomorrow. Everything’s planned out it’s all fine I don’t need to worry. I just need to rest and take it easy

got Muay class tomorrow at 945. Will be nice to go train. I’ve been getting better

It’s forcing me to improve my cardio and stamina. Not be too bulky . Is good. Idk if I’ll stick with it. I’m really into it when I’m not feeling tired like today heh

 

I relapsed

 

Day 7
Starting my weekend right.

 

Relapsed. Feeling pretty pissed for searching porn. Having issues with the blocker

 

Check'in. Today is day 24. I had very strong urges today buy i rather die than watch P.

 

Today I had 30 minutes workout at 4 am baby, that's savage. I found that the food I eat at my job is really unhealthy, some of them were obvious but others, like beans and rice, I thought It was fine, but I was wrong. So, now I'm working out more and tackling my new diet.

I'm very unhappy, sometimes depressed and numb, but we can't afford to quit while suffering. Never give up guys, don't lose hope.