Need help from suicidal thoughts

I've likely been addicted to masturbation and at times porn for 30 years, I'm 45. You're 25 and realizing this. I'm just realizing all this. I've had a good life with plenty of sex but now only realize two things: (1) there were times I could have had more girlfriends if I wouldn't have masturbated as it would have given me an edge, I now realize the girls were interested, I just didn't have the fire. (2) as a married man the porn can be so alluring and it's hard to rationalize it away, but I have to do so as I now see how it rots the brain.

You seem like you have progressed so far already and at such a young age! Good for you!! These are long streaks you are posting. Do you feel different?

 

Hang in there .life is difficult . People need you more than you need them. Be something good when life says your not. Been there guy ! Lord make me an instrument of peace.Where there is hatred sow love.injury show pardon.Darkness show light.where there is sadness joy.lord grant that I not so much seek to console but be consoled.to be understood as to understand.to be loved as to love. For as in giving to receive.it is pardoning that we are pardoned. It is in dying that we receive eternal life amen

 

Lots of living guy . I hear your hurting . But so are others . We all fall . Getting up is more important every time you do. U may not feel or know it but the good chain needs your link.glue it back on

 

The key is eliminating triggers. Do you know why or what makes you masturbate so much? Once you remove the why, then the how becomes more clear.

You've proved you can do it. Use your emotions to fuel your determination & stop the suicide thoughts, that's not you, that's Satan's lies!!

 

Hey man those are great streaks, just keep focusing on how good life feels when you're not doing that (pmo) and keep fighting for a greater percentage of your life clean from it. Everybody gets depressed sometimes, it's not fun, but you have to rule out suicide, that's not the answer brother you have to find positive solutions.

 

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Not sure if that’s the exact quote but I remember hearing that somewhere.

over COVID I felt very close to ending my life and resorted to calling a help line. I was honestly surprised how much it helped. And since then I’m so glad I didn’t go through with it. It really was just a temporary feeling (albeit a horrible one) and now life is much better even though I still am obviously struggling with pornography. I feel like Im starting to accept this challenge as part of my life and I’m okay with that. It doesn’t make it any less worthwhile.

 

Hi. I read your stuff and i thonk i can help a ñittle. I steuggle with sossy porn. It has giv3m me a lpt pf problems in my sexual life. The thing is thst i have been addicted to a lot of stuff, and have studied a lot on the subject. The first thing i can tell you is that gping from streak to streak is tje worst way of stopping. Going from streak to streak is a way of saying that you will fail, but ypu donrñt know when, and since ypu build up conffidence the longer the streak, when you fap again (i wont use the world relapse) you feel worse, because of guilt, shame, and now guilt and ahame BECAUSE of ypur "failure".
Man in life you are gonna fail infinite times in all things you do. It takes only one time to do it final. Streaks maje you obsessed. So you put the obsession on porn into streaks. That way you become adicted to nofap and then you keep on being a slave to porn, but on the other side. As christians do with sin and temptations. Or ex addicta with their AA meetings and rehab (sects) centers. You have to look at it from a different perspective. At one point ypu were free. Ask yourself, do i want to be free? And then answer yes. Then you will have the conviction to stop in an easier way. You have the chpice of viewing it as a huge mountain or something that ypu can do. Power comes from knowing you can do it. Even if ypu fail. You can't be suicidal since you have anothr chance. I know what im talking abput. Imagine your problem, for like 20 years, plus alcohol, plus cigaretes, plus, crossdressing amd seeing the rejection of the people you know. Add to that gping into your forties livong 5 years with your parents. Imagine yourself in the plaition where ypu dont have anything and cant get put of your appartment your dad pays at 38 years old because you cannot keep a job, because you developed agoraphobia. Imahine then having like 1 to 3 panick attacks a day. You go to ER so much the doctors now you and look at you like you are crazy. Then imagine starting to lose your memory and being afraid of having alzheimer. Imagine being less than 40 years old and having a heart attack from too much cocaine. Imagine yourself looking at the balcony and thinking of ending it all.
Wrll, if someone can bounce back from that and can write ypu this message it means that anybody can overcome anything. Trust me. There is always another chance. Work on your frustration and anxiety. Focus in what you want instead of what you dont want. Positive instead of negative. Forget the fucking streaks. Jist keep on gping until you succeed. I striggle to find someone as depressed and as bad as i was 2 years ago. And now im me again, powerful and happy.

 

Im fighting with porn addiction and S. thinking too. Dont worry bro, together we are stronger than addiction. Im Male 28. Im addicted for 8 years and failed many times. Maybe this time i will be harder longer

 

Honestly, the best thing I can recommend is calling a helpline or taking to a specialist. It helped me a lot and it’s easier to be honest with a stranger than close friends/family for some reason.

the forum itself is a great tool.

your life has meaning and purpose even if you can’t see it right now. But one day you will.

 

unfortunately, at the moment I hate to say that I’m not in the best headspace to help in this way as I would like to be in the future.

I’m happy to engage through the forum as best as I can however from my experience the helpline was one of the best tools for myself as far as suicide goes.

please keep coming back and posting though as it really helps

 

I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling with addiction to porn and masturbation, and that it's been affecting your enjoyment of life and causing you to have suicidal thoughts. It's important to remember that recovery is a journey, and relapses are common. The fact that you've been able to go for periods of time without engaging in these behaviors is a sign that you are capable of making progress.
In terms of addressing your addiction, it may be helpful to work with a therapist or counselor who specializes in addiction and can provide you with personalized support and strategies for managing urges and cravings. You may also want to consider joining a support group such as Sex Addicts Anonymous or Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, where you can connect with others who are also in recovery.

In addition, it's important to take care of your physical and emotional well-being. This can include things like regular exercise, healthy eating, getting enough sleep, practicing relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or meditation, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.

Remember, recovery is a process and it's okay to struggle along the way. Be kind to yourself and celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem. Keep reaching out for support and resources, and don't give up on your journey towards healing and recovery.