The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 21.

Got up on time, but all anxious and trembling. I am not sure I want to talk now much. Lots of stress this week.

I'll just do what I have to do today. Without much overthinking.

Honestly, I feel that I am literally suffering today. But I am the one that is making myself to suffer. Not somebody else. I should look inside and find some self-compassion. I should now protect my inner boy, that others hurt so much when I was little.

Spoiler: Journey stuff

Hard mode + no shutting blockers down - day 21.
No caffeine (no coffee, tea, chocolate, etc.).
Calisthenics workout every Saturday. I can do one additional workout on any chosen day. 13 done.

 

Day 315
I completed my mini project...Now i have enough time to reflect about what I'm doing. Good luck brothers

 

I also want to take part. I recently watch LOTR fellowship of the ring and I f**king love it. Tomorrow will be my 35th day so I will start posting from tomorrow.
Count me in brothers

 

Checking in Fellowship Friend's!

9 Day's Free of PMO.

Stay Strong!

 

Day 24. Figured out what signatures are today. Included a few of the quest items in my signature. Felt kinda great

 

Day 0

Hi again.
I have been absent for almost a week, luckily not because of a binge, but because of sickness, and a school trip.

But i failed today.
I have for the last 2 og 3 days allowed myself to fantasise and think about pmo and relapsing, and i did it a lot today which led to even more massive urges, which led to relapse.

I have been sick, and that was the excuse for fantasising. I was sitting in the bus and we were driving in the hills, and i was very sick, almost puking.
Remembering your ideals and values and goals to redirect the urge and do responsive techniques when urges arise, is very hard in such moments. It can be done, no doubt, but i didn’t.
And so i started thinking about it, and it also eased my sickness a bit, and that was the prime rationalisation i made up in my head.

But of course, we cant feed the addiction no matter what. Because the pain from it is much greater than from any sickness.
So i should just have hold on, and made sure that whatever i do, i dont relapse. That is the most important thing by far, i think for all of us.

But on the bright side, this supported my theory of the thought, the images in the head of porn or fantasising about girls, being the beginning of all relapses.
And it had been working for a month, and was working, i just didnt do it, and thats why i relapsed.

So what i learned from this relapse is that, no matter what my condition or circumstance is, i must not do it, and do my responsive techniques.

 

Check in day 19

 

35 days Moria, the greatest Dwarven Kingdom, is before you. With a beard and a axe, you´re a Dwarf now.

 

22 days – You enter the cold Misty Mountains, the Hithaeglir.

 

11 days
This morning after waking up I considered a relapse but I didn't do it. Then I drove bike to work which felt good. Now I'm at work and stress arises. But I can manage.

 

Day 84!

 

Day 54 - Dwarf

Last day as a Dwarf.


Medium urges earlier/yesterday. I think it could have due to from wanting to go #1 in the bathroom.
I had some peeking issues. It could have been both. Happened in previous check ins similar to this. But I managed to keep it under control. Yes, attacks before rank. Indeed expected. That's right. Felt that I wasn't holding and protecting myself a bit a couple days now. But I still managed regardless. I embrace the challenge! The PMO Uruk-Hais are coming to attack as intended!
No, I didn't give in to my PMO Ring. You know what helped? Exercise Fighting on Fellowship.

Aragorn: I would have gone with you to the end, into the very fires of Mordor.

 

Day 5
I’m beginning to struggle a bit with urges but staying strong.

 

Day 22.

22 days hardmodes. Still no wet dream. Woke up all anxious and trembling again. Now I feel ok. Just a bit sad about nofap. This month is exactly 6 years that I am trying "no pmo" in one form or another. 6 years... What do I have to show? Maybe just that I got to know myself better. That's nice, but, honestly, part of me wanted something more.

I don't know... There are various thoughts in my head about this. Some of them say that it's time for me to quit. I am all bruised from all the fighting against pmo. I don't know, I am less and less enthusiastic. I come here not as often. If I disappear one day completely, know that it wasn't light decision. 6 years of trying is a lot.

But still there is a small spark inside, that I shoudn't give up yet. That maybe something good is waiting for me on this road. That this is right.



It would be nice for me to find a girlfriend, who would love me very much and I would feel the same. Good question is where to meet one.

Spoiler: Journey stuff

Hard mode + no shutting blockers down - day 22.
No caffeine (no coffee, tea, chocolate, etc.).
Calisthenics workout every Saturday. I can do one additional workout on any chosen day. 13 done.

 

Day 316
Now I feel my strength is growing ...That's amazing

 

Day 25. You try to pass through Caradhras but the PMO forces were strong there. You make a detour to the Dwarven Realm of Moria.

 

Day 5
With rain and fog I enter the old village of Bree.

 

Check in day 20

 

12 days
I feel you @Paul S.

 

Day 85!