35 and Older Accountability Group

Checking In.

Again survived a huge wave of urges . All is fine.

 

There are tons of people right now in this group following your example, and putting up huge streaks. Keep leading the charge dude!

 

thanks for the encouragement, dude!

 

This is motivating, thank you.

 

Reset

 

I'm going to make one more note on this because I was thinking about it yesterday. I've been through these phases where you are taking a hard look at yourself and having other people take a look at you too and give feedback. It is a lot of work and can be exhausting.

David Thoreau in Walden says: "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." That pretty much sums it up I think the only way to avoid this fate is by doing some hard examinations of yourself and making corrections. It's no easy task. Thanks for the reminder of the work that needs to be done.

 

Rebot.

 

reset please

 

Checking in. It is good to get to 60 days. I once got to 29 and once to 30 some years ago but I was white knuckling the whole way. This time is very different though, I am not just abstaining for a certain time, I am in recovery for PMO addiction. It has taken too much from me over the years and I am not willing to feed the monster any more, it will take everything from me and leave me a shell of who I should be. F that, I'm not having it!

 

Reset - self sabotaging

 

Checking In.

lack of sleep is killing me. I don't know if it is withdrawal symptom , NoFap thing, brain change but it suckssss....

 

Day 2 no PM. Went for a bike ride for the first time in a year. Feeling good this evening.

 

Checking In.

 

Had a couple of resets here last few days, but was recovering from a bad dose of the flu, which is never good for the willpower. Hope I can get back on track.

 

Checking in.

Had good sleep after many days. Feels good.

 

Checking in. Things have not been the easiest of late, just feeling a bit low and out of sorts. All good on the PMO front still.

 

Reset last Monday. Things were headed in that direction all weekend and wasn't able to re-direct my urges. Viewed P for about 2 hours, no M or O. I can point to some reasons, but at this point they seem more like excuses. On the upside, I've looked at actual P 2 days out of the last 97, which I guess is pretty good, and P-subs about 13 times out of the 97, which is not so great. I've been 84% clean over the past 97 days, which is not too bad considering I was less than .05% clean over the past 45 years.

This week:
2 days mediation
1 day exercise

 

Slipped yesterday

 

Checking In.