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Need Clarity and Advice

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by asdrewq1, Feb 10, 2023.

  1. asdrewq1

    asdrewq1 New Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone,

    I have been struggling with this addiction since the age of 10, currently 22. I have successfully rebooted myself in the past but have always ended up relapsing. I am currently on day 64 of doing NoFap (normal mode) with my girlfriend of a year. During every relationship I have had, a total of 3, PIED has been an issue.

    However, up until now, it seems to be improving but inconsistently. What I have noticed is that sex with my girlfriend is easy, my libido is high, and my effort for sex is existent only a few times (2-5) each month. After that, I notice that all of that dies until the following month, PIED returns and I feel like I don't make progress until the next time I am able to have sex. This has made recovery for me really difficult during my time in this relationship. Although my girlfriend is super supportive and understands my struggles, these inconsistencies have made me an emotional rollercoaster. I'm scared that it will lead me to a relapse and start all over again. Due to this my therapist recommended me join one of these forums and let out my worries to individuals going through the same thing.

    I need clarity and advice about what is going on with me. Is this refractory period normal or am I confusing it with a huge flatline? What recommendations do people have in trying to reboot during a relationship, fearing relapse, and improving sexual consistency. Thanks everyone!
     
  2. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    So you’re saying that you only want sex 2-5 times per month and the rest of the time you’re not able to perform?

    how frequently are you using PMO? When was last time you used PMO?
     
  3. asdrewq1

    asdrewq1 New Fapstronaut

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    Yes, correct. My libido plummets tremendously. Let me give you an example, this past weekend my libido was super high from Friday all the way to Monday (having an O with my gf 3-6 times a day). Where as yesterday I had no desire and was only able to perform once. At a younger age I would use PMO on a daily basis. As I got older and noticed its effects on me I have been on NoFap on and off. Currently last time I used PMO is 69 days ago. This is why I'm wondering if this is a normal process of the normal mode NoFap.
     
  4. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    So your libido dropped off after you had more than 6 orgasms with your gf in a few day span?
     
  5. Mob Barley

    Mob Barley Fapstronaut

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    Maybe your girl has a higher sex drive than you. 3-6 times in a day for 3 days straight is a lot to me and probably most other people. I probably wouldnt crave sex for a week after that.
     
  6. asdrewq1

    asdrewq1 New Fapstronaut

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    yes correct
     
  7. asdrewq1

    asdrewq1 New Fapstronaut

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    so from the sounds of it, it's a normal response. thanks!
     
  8. Yes, that's normal. Very normal. Why do you think it's not normal. Are you comparing yourself to your performance when you were watching P vs you having real s*x?
     
  9. HealingBodyandMind

    HealingBodyandMind Fapstronaut

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    Maybe you could try not having an O so many times. I bet this is contributing to what is tiring you out

    just give her some O's and then stop. I'd be dead tired after 6 O's in one day, in fact, I may even fall down dead from that much O's in one day
     

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